Cubs Sign Wood to 1 year, $1.5 Million Contract (p. 5)

[SouthSideRyan]

Memo to Jersey:

 

Pena batted .196 last year.

Pena batted .179 against lefthanders.

Pena batted .204 against righthanders.

Pena batted .189 on grass.

Pena batted .177 at night.

 

:-"

 

How bout on Mondays.

[ScrubMD]

Memo to Jersey:

 

Pena batted .196 last year.

Pena batted .179 against lefthanders.

Pena batted .204 against righthanders.

Pena batted .189 on grass.

Pena batted .177 at night.

 

:-"

 

signed, sealed, delivered. Ouch!

[Geech]

This thread contains so much of why I love nsbb.

[C.C.]

Memo to Jersey:

 

Pena batted .196 last year.

Pena batted .179 against lefthanders.

Pena batted .204 against righthanders.

Pena batted .189 on grass.

Pena batted .177 at night.

 

:-"

 

Head shot.

[mike2482]

Hopefully Benchwarmer can put together a nice mock write-up on those organizational meetings. I can hardly wait.

 

Wait no longer.

The Cubs Organizational Meeting

Ricketts: “OK..let’s get started. Which one of you is the G.M.?”

Hendry: “That would be me.”

 

Ricketts: “I thought you were the guy who gives me a donut every day.”

Hendry: “I’m that too..but I’m the guy who is responsible for the major and minor league teams.”

 

Ricketts: “OK..what does 2011 look like for the big club?”

Hendry: “Well..due to my astute talent evaluation and deal making, I think we can compete in 2011.”

 

Ricketts: “Oh..so we acquired a quality 1-2 starter?”

Hendry: “Well..no, but I'm dumpster diving right now and may get someone who hasn't picked up a baseball in 3 years.”

 

Ricketts: “And what did we do to replace a .300 hitter like DLee at 1st base?”

Hendry: “We got a .190 left handed hitter who struggles against all pitching.”

 

Ricketts: “Did we trade Soriano, Fukudome or Zambrano yet?”

Hendry: “No, I’m waiting until the trading deadline, so we only have to eat all their remaining contract and not a portion.”

 

Ricketts: “And what about our minor leaguers, what about our hot shot 3rd baseman?”

Hendry: “He’s playing right field and still can’t hit.”

 

Ricketts: “Excellent..you’ve achieved a great deal of success, Jim, with the 4th highest payroll in the majors.”

Hendry: “I stand by my record.”

 

Ricketts: “And we can compete with this fine club you have assembled?

Hendry: “Sure..we get some breaks and stay away from injuries..I think 3rd place in the division is very reachable.”

 

Ricketts: “Now, how about some lunch. Could I have one of those sprinkled donuts?”

Hendry: “Don’t press your luck. Take a donut hole and by the way, I’m bringing back Kerry Wood.”

 

Ricketts: “Third place is a lock.”

 

I defended the last one, but you should have stopped after that.

[Geech]

I defended the last one, but you should have stopped after that.

 

Don't you feel bad for defending the first one now?

[Guancous]

Hell yes, Webb please!

 

Demp

Z

Cash

Webb

Wells

 

Marmol

Marshall

Wood

Guzman

Maine

Russel

Silva/Gorz/[expletive]/Grabow(DL please)

 

I think that staff keeps us in the race right there. The offense to me still going to be either very good or very mediocre.

 

That's a staff to roll the dice with. It doesn't even include possible breakouts by Archer, McNutt or Jay Jackson. Very intriguing.

[mike2482]

I defended the last one, but you should have stopped after that.

 

Don't you feel bad for defending the first one now?

 

I stand by my original comments, but I can see why some wouldn't agree now.

[Wheelimus]

What a steal. I don't count myself among the extreme pessimists for next season anymore. Now that the rage & hate & pain of 2010 has passed I've come to terms with the fact that the NL Central is going to be so dreadful next season the Pirates could come out on top and I wouldn't even blink. Mind you they're all fighting to be the team that is swept in 3 games in the postseason, but at least it's something.

[Flames24Rulz]

Memo to Jersey:

 

Pena batted .196 last year.

Pena batted .179 against lefthanders.

Pena batted .204 against righthanders.

Pena batted .189 on grass.

Pena batted .177 at night.

 

:-"

 

lololol

[Clem Fandango]

He also took a jab at me after I mentioned how pleased I was with the decision to sign Carlos Pena by saying...

 

weren't you people also excited about milton bradley and and that theriot guy?

 

He basically only comments on anything I post that's Cubs related by poking fun at it and providing this heir of superiority for being a White Sox fan. His status after the Cubs signed Wood was...

 

the genius of the cubs never ceases to amaze me

 

Which makes no sense whatsoever. He's from the south side of Chicago so he's a lifelong Sox fan, but he's just a typical Sox fan who focuses on the rivalry between them and the Cubs.

 

Even if Kerry Wood wasn't a hero to Cubs fans, and was just another reliever on the market, this is still a good signing no matter how you slice it. To ridicule it is stupid because there's not really anything bad about it

 

Just tell your friend that he's clearly too stupid to be a fan of any team but the White Sox and never speak to him again. I can't imagine being friends with someone who not only thinks this, but would send it to me in an email.

 

In my defense he's not really my friend, he's just in the same fraterntiy as me, but he's from a different school and he happened to come to our parties and that's how we met. I've never actually hung out with him in a friendly capacity. I actually haven't physically seen him in nearly 3 years, nor have I talked to him in person in those three years... but every time I mention the Cubs on Facebook, here he comes to take a jab in the White Sox's honor.

 

This will come as no surprise to any of you, but I figured I should also let you know that he's a devout Juggalo. Also, he has yet to respond to me since. I would've mentioned the fact that the White Sox were offering him that 2-year contract but I was under the assumption that was false information? Cause that report hit the net and then not too long after it was reported that the Cubs were moving in on him, and I didn't really hear much about the White Sox offer after that

[UMFan83]

Can someone ban me for an hour for attempting to defend the first of benchwarm's skits? I...should have known better....

[Benchwarmer]

Memo to Jersey:

 

Pena batted .196 last year.

Pena batted .179 against lefthanders.

Pena batted .204 against righthanders.

Pena batted .189 on grass.

Pena batted .177 at night.

 

:-"

 

How bout on Mondays.

 

.173.....9 out of 51. Pretty good numbers though for day games, played on turf and for a pitcher who doesn't throw with his hands.

[Benchwarmer]

Can someone ban me for an hour for attempting to defend the first of benchwarm's skits? I...should have known better....

 

You're on safe ground. They're all wiping the drool from their triple Hendry-esque chins with a Ryan Harvey t-shirt.

[tfarks]

How did it take me this long to realize that benchwarmer is the Cubs FO "stat guru"

 

2 things:

 

1.) Inside knowledge on Hendry's negotiations.

 

2.) Useless BA splits. Didn't the Aaron Miles fiasco teach you anything?

[SouthSideRyan]

Memo to Jersey:

 

Pena batted .196 last year.

Pena batted .179 against lefthanders.

Pena batted .204 against righthanders.

Pena batted .189 on grass.

Pena batted .177 at night.

 

:-"

 

How bout on Mondays.

 

.173.....9 out of 51. Pretty good numbers though for day games, played on turf and for a pitcher who doesn't throw with his hands.

 

Sounds pretty impressive. How'd he fare against post-op transexuals?

[Rob]

Memo to Jersey:

 

Pena batted .196 last year.

Pena batted .179 against lefthanders.

Pena batted .204 against righthanders.

Pena batted .189 on grass.

Pena batted .177 at night.

 

:-"

 

Batting Average only matters to morons.

[Derwood]

Memo to Jersey:

 

Pena batted .196 last year.

Pena batted .179 against lefthanders.

Pena batted .204 against righthanders.

Pena batted .189 on grass.

Pena batted .177 at night.

 

:-"

 

How bout on Mondays.

 

.173.....9 out of 51. Pretty good numbers though for day games, played on turf and for a pitcher who doesn't throw with his hands.

 

Sounds pretty impressive. How'd he fare against post-op transexuals?

 

I don't think Christina Kahrl ever interviewed him

[ScrubMD]

Can someone ban me for an hour for attempting to defend the first of benchwarm's skits? I...should have known better....

 

You're on safe ground. They're all wiping the drool from their triple Hendry-esque chins with a Ryan Harvey t-shirt.

 

I see you've decided to dabble in the Family Guy manatee ball-style of comedy writing. It's working.

[MSG T]

Memo to Jersey:

 

Pena batted .196 last year.

Pena batted .179 against lefthanders.

Pena batted .204 against righthanders.

Pena batted .189 on grass.

Pena batted .177 at night.

 

:-"

 

I'm not sure whether to :lol: or :banghead: . I think they're both appropriate in this case. I'm not even going into the whole BA thing, it's hopeless.

[haubrich91]

Press conference on CSN for anyone that cares.

[Post Count Padder]

http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/chicago-cubs-kerry-wood-pitcher-puts-heart-ahead-of-money-121710

[JeffH]

The 40-man roster stands at 41. There's going to have to be another move before too long.

[Bote McBoteface]

Kerry Wood is awesome. Not many players would leave the money and years that he left on the table, and this isn't even the first time he's done it.

[Brian]

:D

 

http://www.chicagobreakingsports.com/kerrywoodjimhendry.jpg

 

 

HAHAHAH nobody cares about Grabow

 

It was John Grabow's locker last year.

 

"Not anymore," Wood said with a laugh.

 

And according to the Tribune story, it seems like Kerry pretty much flat out asked Jim to sign him at Ron's funeral and/or Dempster's charity thing.