Kris Bryant is awesome and we were always right to love him

[17 Seconds]

kables still being good makes me feel so much better about the future of the cubs

[Transmogrified Tiger]

Repent

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[Clem Fandango]

 

Who wants to watch a 3 1/2 hour ball game in Miami during gorgeous tropical warm weather?

 

Also Cubs fans. Suck it, Marlins.

[Regular Show]

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“It was just one day, ‘I’m going to bring this (Axe Bat) as my extra,’” Bryant said. “Usually when you break your bat, it’s when you put a ball in play and you’re out or get a hit or whatever. It’s not a foul ball. So the bat boy brings it to me and I’m like, ‘OK, I’m just going to use this.’ First swing, home run. And I was like, ‘Oh, OK, I’ll stick with it.’ And I have since then and I just feel really good about my swing.”

 

An Axe Bat is a type of bat with the handle shaped like that of the handle of an axe. The company believes that there are multiple attributes of the bat that help set it apart. The list of players who are Axe Bat users includes Mookie Betts and George Springer and the list is growing.

 

“It’s almost like a comfort thing,” Bryant said. “You’re holding the bat and it just feels natural. With a round knob there are different pressure points on your hand that kind of feels off a little bit. But this is just super smooth and continuous. It just feels natural.

[JudasIscariotTheBird]

[badger]

 

“It’s almost like a comfort thing,” Bryant said. “You’re holding the bat and it just feels natural. With a round knob there are different pressure points on your hand that kind of feels off a little bit. But this is just super smooth and continuous. It just feels natural.

 

 

I wanted to make a Mormon masturbation joke but a) I'm 40 and more importantly, b) I'm not smart enough to figure one out :?

[Sammy Sofa]

Russell, meanwhile, uses a toilet plunger handle soaked in Axe body spray.

[Bertz]

[David]

RH Votto engaged

[Agony and Ivy]

I'm so glad I didn't publicly document my KB doom boner like all you idiots in here.

[Sammy Sofa]

RH Votto engaged

 

Boy, didn't expect the Mormons to allow this.

[profisme]

RH Votto engaged

 

Boy, didn't expect the Mormons to allow this.

 

If you have enough money, any religion will pretty much allow anything... if they get their cut.

[We Got The Whole 9]

Love seeing KB back in the top 10 fwar

 

Then I lose my horsefeathers when I see DeJong at #2 and on pace for a 8-9 war season. Only the horsefeathering Cardinals would just horsefeathers out a premier SS out of nowhere.

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[UMFan83]

Does Sofa need to bring up the HR tracker thing again? 2 HR in his last 23 games.

[Bertz]

Does Sofa need to bring up the HR tracker thing again? 2 HR in his last 23 games.

 

Please don't. Power is particularly streaky, and we can feel pretty safe saying at this point that last year's injury didn't acrually mangle his shoulder. He'll hit four in a week at some point soon and everything will look fine again.

[ConstableRabbit]

There is nothing more NSBB than complaining about your cost-controlled 3B/OF who is putting up a .390 wOBA, 142 wRC+ and is one of the best baserunners in the game. Oh, and is playing at a ~6 fWAR pace.

[Sammy Sofa]

Expecting, nay, DEMANDING more dongs is always legit, and get out of here with that nerd talk trying to sidestep the dong issue.

 

DONGS UBER ALLES.

 

[dropshadow=blue]The Kris Bryant Games Without a Dong-o-Meter[/dropshadow]: [glow=red][fade]9 GAMES[/fade][/glow]

 

Wait, only 9 games? [expletive]. I feel tricked.

Edited June 25, 2019 by Sammy Sofa

[ConstableRabbit]

You don't deserve nice things, especially not a guy on pace for 30 dongs and 40+ doubles who has a 12% walk rate.

[Sammy Sofa]

You know what's cooler than 30 dongs?

 

More than 30 dongs.

 

(This is mostly me kidding...this time)

[UMFan83]

There is nothing more NSBB than complaining about your cost-controlled 3B/OF who is putting up a .390 wOBA, 142 wRC+ and is one of the best baserunners in the game. Oh, and is playing at a ~6 fWAR pace.

 

Who's complaining? He's having a very good season. I just like dongs

[Derwood]

You don't deserve nice things, especially not a guy on pace for 30 dongs and 40+ doubles who has a 12% walk rate.

 

A guy who hit 30 HR pre-mega juiced ball should be hitting more than he's hitting. He's not even getting the "looks like a 300 foot pop up off the bat.....and it's 4 rows deep" homers that seemingly every other player in the league is getting

[Old Style]

There is nothing more NSBB than complaining about your cost-controlled 3B/OF who is putting up a .390 wOBA, 142 wRC+ and is one of the best baserunners in the game. Oh, and is playing at a ~6 fWAR pace.

 

Who's complaining? He's having a very good season. I just like dongs

[BigSlick]

You folks will just have to be satisfied with Javy and Rizzo hitting 40 dongs each

 

Oh, and Heyward on pace for more than 20