4/6 Clubs (Hamels) @ VBs (Burnes) 7:10 CST TV: NBCSCH+

[weis21]

So, here we are friends. Instead of Cubs (or Cobs), my 3 year old calls them the "clubs" which kind of makes sense because watching them only makes me want to club a bunch of baby seals. I always knew he was smart but I think that's next level genius.

 

Here we go:

 

The Clubs have this guy:

 

 

His name is Coal. He's hoping to fuel the clubs to victory tonight. He's got a 9.00 ERA but he's struck out 4 hitters this year. Here is what cubs.com preview had to say about Coal's last start: "the lefty was effective until the fourth inning in which he walked the bases loaded and then gave up a grand slam". hahaha. that's like saying, "yesterday i was an effective driver up until i pulled out of my driveway and ran directly into a ditch"

 

God's favorite team chose this guy:

 

 

The dork with the glasses for the vaunted ones is Corbin Burnes. He sports a 7.20 ERA and a 6.60 FIP. With numbers like that I really hope the clubs pitchers take notice and hopefully they can pick up a thing or two themselves.

 

Well I said last night horsefeathers this horsefeathers I'm done. But, being the dummy I am, I signed up for some godforsaken reason to start one of these.

 

[OleMissCub]

I hate this

[weis21]

sorry. i tried my best

 

: (

[OleMissCub]

sorry. i tried my best

 

: (

 

Was referring to the Cubs being 1-6, not your post

[Brian707]

Just win

[weis21]

i know, omc. i was just being sarcastic.

 

i hate this/them too. the degree in which the pitching sucks absolutely defies logic

[Ding Dong Johnson]

Ballgame. Brewers by 37.

[Derwood]

Cubs averaging 5.7 runs/game in their losses

[PackLandVA]

When does the Iowa Shuttle begin??

[Hairyducked Idiot]

Just win

 

It's honestly more fun at this point if they don't.

[d_money]

Just win

 

It's honestly more fun at this point if they don't.

This is true.

[Cubswin11]

We have an .893 team OPS, let’s see if we can get it to .900 before winning another game.

[ScrubMD]

The only thing left to hope for is that one of pitchers poops their pants on the mound.

[Transmogrified Tiger]

under no circumstances should anyone watch this game

[mark1970]

i refuse to go toa game up there. i don't want to give them my money.

[Derwood]

[tweet]

[/tweet]

 

Oof

[itisallpartoftheplan]

Hope 1-5 can get it done tonight

[Jaxbro]

Win turds

 

But alas the surrender lineup is out, pitchers couldn’t get an out in a 40+ age softball beer league, and the fans are kicking each other’s asses over arguments on who on the team sucks more

[Andy]

The hell was that not a home run

[Andy]

Won't be watching this one long either I think

[illiniguy]

The hell was that not a home run

Because Cain's was.

[itisallpartoftheplan]

Get horsefeathering real

[CubinNY]

They horsefeathering suck.

[Jaxbro]

Why wouldn’t it start any other way. Quick inning at the plate. Leadoff HR for Cain

[UMFan83]

Remember when we traded for Hamels and he had a ridiculously bad HR% and then he joined the Cubs and it was a lot better? Well back to old Cole