So I've been playing goalie for the last couple of years. I'm not very good, but it's adult rec hockey, you don't need to be good. I've been playing all the way down in the lowest level because they play Saturday nights and I'd rather do that than get the 11 p.m. weeknight game slots.
On Saturday night I got cooked by the world's slowest shootout fake. The guy came in so slow that I couldn't really build up any momentum to match his speed, and this being adult rookie I just assumed he was just gonna come in and shoot because most of them can't stickhandle enough to make any sort of move.
I assumed wrong. He faked the shot, I bit it harder than Marv Albert with a hooker, and he slowly skated around me and casually tapped it in the net like a gimme putt as I sprawled back after him.
As a reward for putting up with me over the years, I gift you all the rink video feed, complete with audio of the benches laughing at me.
https://streamable.com/vbej7t