Clark the Cub Discussion Thread

[dcvalpo]

Well that's just unnecessarily creepy

 

What was it, what was it

[KaiserCesar]

@ClarktheCub Welcome to the FURturnity! Hit me up on my "brownberry" sometime...we'll grab sushi. Do u like salmon rolls? #Bears #Chicago

 

@TheRealStaley Thanks! I love 'em!

[Geech]

After reading all of this posts, I have decided I love this move.

[vance_the_cubs_fan]

"They hate me," he said. "I haven't even been the mascot one day and they all already hate me."

He'd grown up, like most kids in his neighborhood, with dreams of manning third base for the Cubs. The cover of the diary he kept as a nine-year-old was now almost completely worn off, and some of the pages threatened to fall out of the spiral rings. But, in this moment, he found himself turning the pages. He'd dared not open it for years, afraid of losing some of the priceless mementos of his past.

 

In it, he found he'd charted his career path as a Cubs minor league.

 

"'Triple A by 20,' what a joke," he said, aware that when he was 20, he had actually been a D-student with a steadily growing ponch above his belt. The Freshman 15 had gotten him at least twice, appropriate, considering he'd repeated many of the classes he'd taken those first two semesters.

 

But the thought struck him that, at just 25, he was still tasked with going to Wrigley Field every day. Sure it wasn't on the hot corner, but he was still in the park. And yeah, the adults would hate him, throw beer on him, hell, probably piss on him. But the kids would love him. And wasn't that the point? Who dreams of being a pro athlete as a child with the goal being the adoration of adults? He'd always envisioned himself taking pictures with little kids, signing autographs, tussling their hair and calling them "champ" or "sport."

 

Suddenly he discovered he was no longer dreading the job, he was actually looking forward to it.

 

Running his fingers across his chinstrap beard, he looked one last time into the Tupac poster above his bed, "Hail Mary" playing on his iPod.

 

"Now, do you want to ride or die?" he asked.

 

http://www.reactiongifs.com/lol/goodone1.gif

[minnesotacubsfan]

oh course deadspin would get in on this

 

http://deadspin.com/contest-do-something-horrible-to-the-cubs-new-perver-1500558877/@Tom_Ley

 

 

[expletive] me [expletive] life

[Guest]

Clark looks just like Kit Cloudkicker from TaleSpin:

 

http://media.nbcchicago.com/images/654*368/Clark_Bat+Lean.jpg

 

http://fromscreentotheme.com/WhosWhoKitCloudkicker1.jpg

[OleMissCub]

"They hate me," he said. "I haven't even been the mascot one day and they all already hate me."

He'd grown up, like most kids in his neighborhood, with dreams of manning third base for the Cubs. The cover of the diary he kept as a nine-year-old was now almost completely worn off, and some of the pages threatened to fall out of the spiral rings. But, in this moment, he found himself turning the pages. He'd dared not open it for years, afraid of losing some of the priceless mementos of his past.

 

In it, he found he'd charted his career path as a Cubs minor league.

 

"'Triple A by 20,' what a joke," he said, aware that when he was 20, he had actually been a D-student with a steadily growing ponch above his belt. The Freshman 15 had gotten him at least twice, appropriate, considering he'd repeated many of the classes he'd taken those first two semesters.

 

But the thought struck him that, at just 25, he was still tasked with going to Wrigley Field every day. Sure it wasn't on the hot corner, but he was still in the park. And yeah, the adults would hate him, throw beer on him, hell, probably piss on him. But the kids would love him. And wasn't that the point? Who dreams of being a pro athlete as a child with the goal being the adoration of adults? He'd always envisioned himself taking pictures with little kids, signing autographs, tussling their hair and calling them "champ" or "sport."

 

Suddenly he discovered he was no longer dreading the job, he was actually looking forward to it.

 

Running his fingers across his chinstrap beard, he looked one last time into the Tupac poster above his bed, "Hail Mary" playing on his iPod.

 

"Now, do you want to ride or die?" he asked.

 

http://cdn.weknowgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/black-guys-reaction-gif.gif

[SouthSideRyan]

Clark looks just like Kit Cloudkicker from TaleSpin:

 

http://media.nbcchicago.com/images/654*368/Clark_Bat+Lean.jpg

 

http://fromscreentotheme.com/WhosWhoKitCloudkicker1.jpg

 

There it is

[Guest]

"They hate me," he said. "I haven't even been the mascot one day and they all already hate me."

He'd grown up, like most kids in his neighborhood, with dreams of manning third base for the Cubs. The cover of the diary he kept as a nine-year-old was now almost completely worn off, and some of the pages threatened to fall out of the spiral rings. But, in this moment, he found himself turning the pages. He'd dared not open it for years, afraid of losing some of the priceless mementos of his past.

 

In it, he found he'd charted his career path as a Cubs minor league.

 

"'Triple A by 20,' what a joke," he said, aware that when he was 20, he had actually been a D-student with a steadily growing ponch above his belt. The Freshman 15 had gotten him at least twice, appropriate, considering he'd repeated many of the classes he'd taken those first two semesters.

 

But the thought struck him that, at just 25, he was still tasked with going to Wrigley Field every day. Sure it wasn't on the hot corner, but he was still in the park. And yeah, the adults would hate him, throw beer on him, hell, probably piss on him. But the kids would love him. And wasn't that the point? Who dreams of being a pro athlete as a child with the goal being the adoration of adults? He'd always envisioned himself taking pictures with little kids, signing autographs, tussling their hair and calling them "champ" or "sport."

 

Suddenly he discovered he was no longer dreading the job, he was actually looking forward to it.

 

Running his fingers across his chinstrap beard, he looked one last time into the Tupac poster above his bed, "Hail Mary" playing on his iPod.

 

"Now, do you want to ride or die?" he asked.

 

http://gifatron.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/RRnhhqW.gif

[Old Style]

you serious, clark?

 

I think you're all [expletive] in the head. We're 2 years from the [expletive] wave of prospects and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something; this is no longer a rebuild...it's a quest. It's a quest for fun. You're gonna have fun, and I'm gonna have fun... We're all gonna have so much [expletive] fun we're gonna need plastic surgery to remove our [expletive] smiles! You'll be whistling "Go Cubs Go" out of your [expletive]! I must be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a bear! Praise Clark Cub! Holy [expletive]!

 

We watch his games...we buy his jerseys, we go to his crappy park... he owes us! Doesn't he owe us, huh?!? He owes the fans, right? [expletive] right he owes us!

Sorry folks, parks closed. Clark out front should have told you.

These two posts were gold, Jerry. GOLD!

[Post Count Padder]

"They hate me," he said. "I haven't even been the mascot one day and they all already hate me."

He'd grown up, like most kids in his neighborhood, with dreams of manning third base for the Cubs. The cover of the diary he kept as a nine-year-old was now almost completely worn off, and some of the pages threatened to fall out of the spiral rings. But, in this moment, he found himself turning the pages. He'd dared not open it for years, afraid of losing some of the priceless mementos of his past.

 

In it, he found he'd charted his career path as a Cubs minor league.

 

"'Triple A by 20,' what a joke," he said, aware that when he was 20, he had actually been a D-student with a steadily growing ponch above his belt. The Freshman 15 had gotten him at least twice, appropriate, considering he'd repeated many of the classes he'd taken those first two semesters.

 

But the thought struck him that, at just 25, he was still tasked with going to Wrigley Field every day. Sure it wasn't on the hot corner, but he was still in the park. And yeah, the adults would hate him, throw beer on him, hell, probably piss on him. But the kids would love him. And wasn't that the point? Who dreams of being a pro athlete as a child with the goal being the adoration of adults? He'd always envisioned himself taking pictures with little kids, signing autographs, tussling their hair and calling them "champ" or "sport."

 

Suddenly he discovered he was no longer dreading the job, he was actually looking forward to it.

 

Running his fingers across his chinstrap beard, he looked one last time into the Tupac poster above his bed, "Hail Mary" playing on his iPod.

 

"Now, do you want to ride or die?" he asked.

Holy efff. One of the best things I've read recently haha.

[rocket]

"They hate me," he said. "I haven't even been the mascot one day and they all already hate me."

He'd grown up, like most kids in his neighborhood, with dreams of manning third base for the Cubs. The cover of the diary he kept as a nine-year-old was now almost completely worn off, and some of the pages threatened to fall out of the spiral rings. But, in this moment, he found himself turning the pages. He'd dared not open it for years, afraid of losing some of the priceless mementos of his past.

 

In it, he found he'd charted his career path as a Cubs minor league.

 

"'Triple A by 20,' what a joke," he said, aware that when he was 20, he had actually been a D-student with a steadily growing ponch above his belt. The Freshman 15 had gotten him at least twice, appropriate, considering he'd repeated many of the classes he'd taken those first two semesters.

 

But the thought struck him that, at just 25, he was still tasked with going to Wrigley Field every day. Sure it wasn't on the hot corner, but he was still in the park. And yeah, the adults would hate him, throw beer on him, hell, probably piss on him. But the kids would love him. And wasn't that the point? Who dreams of being a pro athlete as a child with the goal being the adoration of adults? He'd always envisioned himself taking pictures with little kids, signing autographs, tussling their hair and calling them "champ" or "sport."

 

Suddenly he discovered he was no longer dreading the job, he was actually looking forward to it.

 

Running his fingers across his chinstrap beard, he looked one last time into the Tupac poster above his bed, "Hail Mary" playing on his iPod.

 

"Now, do you want to ride or die?" he asked.

 

http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/obamacry_slow.gif

[Guest]

Remember that time Roast showed up recently and posted like once?

 

EDIT - Holy [expletive], that NSBB book thread was in JULY?

[Derwood]

http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/19cgd0rkm6i0rjpg/ku-medium.jpg

[Sammy Sofa]

Remember that time Roast showed up recently and posted like once?

 

EDIT - Holy [expletive], that NSBB book thread was in JULY?

 

[expletive], even I knew that.

[biittner77]

Why is he Donald Ducking it?

 

It's a classic look

[apete6]

Poll on Chicago Tribune website is currently 25% like the mascot, 75% don't, which is probably pretty accurate for people who would be on that website (adults of at least some intelligence level).

[Sammy Sofa]

Why is he Donald Ducking it?

 

It's a classic look

 

It would work better if he was more fat and cartoon-y, but instead they made him all svelte and now it just looks like some hairy weirdo not wearing pants.

[jersey cubs fan]

Why is he Donald Ducking it?

 

It's a classic look

 

It would work better if he was more fat and cartoon-y, but instead they made him all svelte and now it just looks like some hairy weirdo not wearing pants.

 

He might be Chicago svelte, but not rest of world svelte.

[UK1679666180]

Can we just reserve this thread for future chapters of Clark's True Hollywood Story?

[UMFan83]

First official appearance, with some familiar faces:

 

[Ding Dong Johnson]

I don't know any of those people.

[Banedon]

Man, you know a team has nothing else going on when a "who gives a [expletive]" story like this is a major topic of discussion.

[Derwood]

Oh god, the costume's eyes.....it's like he hasn't slept in 3 days of a crank binge

[UK1679666180]

I don't know how I missed the job opening to the be Clark...