Rich Hill is done

[treebird]

make him a mod quote it if youre down

 

QUOTE QUOTE QUOTE

[wvcbxl]

For all the sanctimonious bitching in this thread, I fail to see anything else of importance on the Cubs discussion page. Great job taking control of threads with your elitist crap then offering up nothing else of importance. Really helps out the forum.

 

A somewhat amusing statement from someone whose contributions this month have been limited to bitching about Rich Hill in this thread, and stalking IMB and Derwood in a couple of others (the search feature is a great thing :wink: )

[Guest]

Rich Hill yesterday: 4 IP, 4 H, 1 ER, 3 BB, 4 K.

[UMFan83]

Rich Hill yesterday: 4 IP, 4 H, 1 ER, 3 BB, 4 K.

 

At this point, he would need at least 5-6 performances in a row better than that to convince me he even can be salvageable.

[BigbadB]

Rich Hill yesterday: 4 IP, 4 H, 1 ER, 3 BB, 4 K.

 

He got the WHIP under 2.00. That's progress.

[abuck1220]

52 of his 82 pitches were strikes. not bad.

[abuck1220]

For all the sanctimonious bitching in this thread, I fail to see anything else of importance on the Cubs discussion page. Great job taking control of threads with your elitist crap then offering up nothing else of importance. Really helps out the forum.

 

And, again, I want to specifically know how many of IMB!'s posts are actually contributing anything other than a look-at-me attitude that annoys the crap out of me. Seriously, how much is it. I want to know.

 

in an ironic twist, your posts contribute nothing. don't know if you realize this or not, but you haven't said anything of substance this entire thread.

[BigbadB]

Does Hill have options left?

[laurens]

Does Hill have options left?

 

I think I read on this board he had one left. That's all I know.

[Guest]

Does Hill have options left?

 

Nope.

[BigbadB]

Does Hill have options left?

 

Nope.

 

Yikes.

[vance_the_cubs_fan]

I really doubt Hill straightens it out quickly enough to claim a spot in the rotation. I guess if he has a spectacular spring that could happen. I hope that he looks good enough that we can use him in the pen instead of cutting him loose by exposing him to waivers.

[NCCubFan]

Rich Hill yesterday: 4 IP, 4 H, 1 ER, 3 BB, 4 K.

Decent. 3 walks in 4 innings is not good but the rest of the line isn't bad at all. Not a game that by itself makes me think he's turned the corner though.

[WrigleyinEngland]

I know everything is pointing to this guy being done but i just can't let go that in '07 he was unfortunate to not win 15 games in the big leagues. His periphs were all good and pointed to a bright future. As said before he is now at the point where he needs 5-6 good/acceptable starts before you can even see him competeing this spring.

[badnews]

Although the space allotted here can't possibly suffice to elaborate in detail on the long list of Rich Hill's lousy canards -- including the picayunish, the rabid, the ungrateful, and especially the stubborn -- I'll use what little space I have to change the minds of those who hurt people's feelings. Unless you share my view that the problem of primitive barmpots serves as an excuse for Hill to express his own hostility and frustrated need for power, there's no need for you to hear me further. Accordingly, there are those who are informed and educated about the evils of blackguardism, and there are those who are not. Hill is one of the uninformed, naturally, and that's why his plans for the future are a cesspool of clericalism. (Yes, a theme that appears repeatedly in his crusades concerns his desire to create a factitious demand for his violent expedients, but that's a different story.)

 

Hill sees the world as somewhat anarchic, a game of catch-as-catch-can in which the sneakiest riffraff nab the biggest prizes. One of his favorite tricks is to create a problem and then to offer the solution. Naturally, it's always his solutions that grant him the freedom to stifle the voices of those who are simply seeking to be heard, never the original problem. Hill can fool some of the people all of the time. He can fool all of the people some of the time. But he can't fool all of the people all of the time. We must educate the public on a range of issues. If we don't, future generations will not know freedom. Instead, they will know fear; they will know sadness; they will know injustice, poverty, and grinding despair. Most of all, they will realize, albeit far too late, that Hill occasionally shows what appears to be warmth, joy, love, or compassion. You should realize, however, that these positive expressions are more feigned than experienced and invariably serve an ulterior motive, such as to break up society's solidarity and cohesiveness.

 

Hill's provocateurs contend that there's no difference between normal people like you and me and noxious oafs. This is precisely the non-equation that Hill is trying to patch together. What he's missing, as usual, is that he has had some success in challenging all I stand for. I find that horrifying and frightening but we all should have seen it coming. We all knew that we should empower the oppressed to control their own lives. (Goodness knows, our elected officials aren't going to.)

 

If we let Hill sow the seeds of vandalism we'll be reaping the crop for quite a long time. He keeps trying to deceive us into thinking that the ideas of "freedom" and "metagrobolism" are Siamese twins. The purpose of this deception may be to slander those who are most systematically undervalued, underpaid, underemployed, underfinanced, underinsured, underrated, and otherwise underserved and undermined as undeserving and underclass. Or maybe the purpose is to precipitate riots. Oh what a tangled web Hill weaves when first he practices to deceive.

 

Hill complains a lot. What's ironic, though, is that he hasn't made even a single concrete suggestion for improvement or identified a single problem with the system as it exists today. He gets a lot of perks from the system. True to form, Hill ceaselessly moves the goalposts to prevent others from benefiting from the same perks. This suggests that he argues that he is clean and bright and pure inside. To maintain this thesis, Hill naturally has had to shovel away a mountain of evidence, which he does by the desperate expedient of claiming that it's okay to prosecute, sentence, and label people as pouty degenerates without the benefit of any evidence whatsoever. A final word: We should give Rich Hill a taste of his own medicine.

[UMFan83]

wat?

[Hairyducked Idiot]

tl;dr

[badnews]

It's been one of my favorite websites since 1998!

 

Please pardon the disorderly overtones that will be found throughout this letter, but maladroit careerism has long been the nucleus of Ryan Theriot's campaigns of malice and malignity. Before I say anything else, let me remind Theriot that he truly believes that the Earth is flat. It is just such postmodernist megalomania, impolitic egoism, and intellectual aberrancy that stirs Theriot to let rash misogynists run rampant through the streets. Although the moral absolutist position is well represented by social and political activists and unquestionably influences legislators and policy makers, if his attempts to promote racial superiority doctrines, ethnic persecution, imperialist expansion, and genocide have spurred us to advance freedom in countries strangled by tyranny, then Theriot may have accomplished a useful thing.

 

The last time Theriot reached into his bag of dirty tricks, he pulled out a scheme to subordinate principles of fairness to less admirable criteria. How does he deal with this fascinating piece of information? He absolutely ignores it. My dream is for tired eyes to open and see clearly, broken spirits to find new energy, and weary arms to find the strength to rise to the challenge of thwarting his presumptuous plans. He likes to use paid informants and provocateurs to increase subservience to his monolithic engine of jingoism. Such activity can flourish only in the dark, however. If you drag it into the open, Theriot and his surrogates will run for cover, like cockroaches in a dirty kitchen when the light is turned on suddenly during the night. That's why we must focus on what unites rather than divides us.

 

If I withheld my feelings on this matter, I'd be no less unrestrained than Theriot. We should agree on definitions before saying anything further about his barbaric perceptions. For starters, let's say that "vandalism" is "that which makes Theriot yearn to leave behind a wake of offensive reaction." The concepts underlying his unsympathetic shenanigans are like the Ptolemaic astronomy, which could not have been saved by positing more epicycles or eliminating some of the more glaring discrepancies. The fundamental idea -- that the heavens revolve around the Earth -- was wrong, just as Theriot's idea that ebola, AIDS, mad-cow disease, and the hantavirus were intentionally bioengineered by mindless scatterbrains for the purpose of population reduction is wrong.

 

We must spread the word about Theriot's flagitious press releases to our friends, our neighbors, our relatives, our co-workers -- even to strangers -- if we are ever to brush away the cobwebs of fascism. Yes, this is a bold, audacious, even unprecedented undertaking. Yes, it lacks any realistic guarantee of success. However, it is an undertaking that we must unmistakably pursue because Theriot's toadies have been running around recently trying to create a world without history, without philosophy, without science, without reason -- a world without beauty of any kind, without art, without literature, without culture. Meanwhile, Theriot has been preparing to infantilize and corrupt the general public. The whole episode smacks of a carefully orchestrated operation. If you ask me, Theriot's method (or school, or ideology -- it is hard to know exactly what to call it) goes by the name of "Theriot-ism". It is a laughable and avowedly wayward philosophy that aims to hoodoo us.

 

Furthermore, the materialistic clods who collaborate with Theriot should be spat upon -- or worse -- for their lack of integrity. Still, I recommend you check out some of Theriot's homilies and draw your own conclusions on the matter. I have a tendency to report the more sensational things that he is up to, the more shocking things, things like how he wants to inspire a recrudescence of sleazy fatuity. And I realize the difficulty that the average person has in coming to grips with that, but he has written more than his fair share of lengthy, over-worded, pseudo-intellectual tripe. In all such instances Theriot conveniently overlooks the fact that it is an actuarial certainty that he will boss others around one day. Let's be sure that I've made myself absolutely clear: What I just wrote is not based on merely a single experience or anecdote. Rather, it is based upon the wisdom of accumulated years, spanning two continents, and proven by the fact that Theriot talks a lot about adversarialism and how wonderful it is. However, he's never actually defined what it means. How can he argue for something he's never defined? This can be answered most easily by stating that any effort to negotiate with him or appease him is akin to spitting into a hurricane to quiet its fury. In view of that, it is not surprising that we must show him that we are not powerless pedestrians on the asphalt of life. We must show Theriot that we can point out that the emperor has no clothes on. Maybe then Theriot will realize that his claim that you and I are objects for him to use then casually throw away and forget like old newsprint that's performed its duty catching bird droppings is factually unsupported and politically motivated.

 

Theriot demands that we make a choice. Either we let him usher in the beginning of a snippy new era of clericalism or he'll accelerate our descent into the cesspool of recidivism. This "choice" exemplifies what is commonly known as a "false dichotomy" or "the fallacy of the excluded middle" because it denies other alternatives, such as that if there's one thing that Theriot's good at, it's spreading the germs of hatred, of discord and jealously, of dissolution and decomposition. It's undoubtedly a tragedy that his goal in life is apparently to steal the fruits of other people's labor. Here, I use the word "tragedy" as the philosopher Whitehead used it. Whitehead stated that "the essence of dramatic tragedy is not unhappiness. It resides in the solemnity of the remorseless working of things," which I interpret as saying that if natural selection indeed works by removing the weakest and most genetically unfit members of a species then Theriot is clearly going to be the first to go.

 

The bad-tempered negativism I've been writing about is not primarily the fault of cheeky, obtuse cozeners, nor of the flippant ne'er-do-wells who cause riots in the streets. It is the fault of Ryan Theriot. I want my life to count. I want to be part of something significant and lasting. I want to chastise Theriot for not doing any research before spouting off. I imagine that he wants to prohibit any discussion of her attempts to tip the scales in his favor. While it is clear why he wants that to be a taboo subject, wherever you look, you'll see Theriot enforcing intolerance in the name of tolerance. You'll see him suppressing freedom in the name of freedom. And you'll see him crushing diversity of opinion in the name of diversity.

 

Why is Theriot really so inimical? Is it because jackbooted pseudo-intellectuals, almost by definition, promote the total destruction of individuality in favor of an all-powerful group? Or because irrationalism has impaired his ability to think straight? Well, once you begin to see the light, you'll realize that I want to make him pay for his crimes against humanity. I want to do this not because I need to tack another line onto my résumé but because if it turns out that there's no way to prevent him from putting bilious thoughts in our children's minds then I guess it'll be time to throw my cards on the table and call it quits. I'll just have to give up trying to bring a fresh perspective and new ideas to the current debate and accept the fact that he attracts caustic crybabies to his terrorist organization by telling them that the Universe belongs to him by right. I suppose the people to whom he tells such things just want to believe lies that make them feel intellectually and spiritually superior to others. Whether or not that's the case, Theriot holds onto power like the eunuch mandarins of the Forbidden City -- sterile obstacles to progress who smear and defame me.

 

I act based on what I think is right, not who I think is right. That's why I try always to fight on the battleground of ideas for our inalienable individual rights. It's also why I say that if you're like most people you just shrug your shoulders whenever you hear about his latest unctuous memoirs. When your shoulders get tired of shrugging I hope you'll realize that Theriot gets a lot of perks from the system. True to form, he ceaselessly moves the goalposts to prevent others from benefiting from the same perks. This suggests that I can't make heads or tails of Theriot's magic-bullet explanations. I mean, does he want to resort to ad hominem attacks on me and my family or doesn't he?

 

Theriot is interpersonally exploitative. That is, he takes advantage of others to achieve his own ignominious ends. Why does he do that? The answer to that question has broad implications. For example, "Theriot" has now become part of my vocabulary. Whenever I see someone attack the critical realism and impassive objectivity that are the central epistemological foundations of the scientific worldview, I tell him or her to stop "Theriot-ing". A final note: Telling the truth is too much trouble for foul-mouthed individuals bent on getting their way.

[Sammy Sofa]

BEEP BEEP BOOP FART

 

I feel like we're on a bus that's rigged to explode, and I'm Alex Winter.

[badnews]

It seems that before I launch into this letter, I should tell you that according to Kosuke Fukudome's logic, it would be beneficial for noxious scum to make people suspicious of those who speak the truth. Let us note first of all that there may be nothing we can do to prevent Fukudome from making good on his word to hammer away at the characters of all those who will not help him force me to undergo "treatment" to cure my "problem". When we compare this disturbing conclusion to the comforting picture purveyed by his hired goons, we experience psychological stress or "cognitive dissonance". Our only recourse is to bring strength to our families, power to our nation, and health to our cities.

 

Take, as an example, the way that Fukudome wants to subordinate principles of fairness to less admirable criteria. Well, he has a knack for convincing iconoclastic, dirty nymphomaniacs that you and I are inferior to paltry caitiffs. That's called marketing. The underlying trick is to use sesquipedalian terms like "historiographical" and "thymolsulphonephthalein" to keep his sales pitch from sounding myopic. That's why you really have to look hard to see that Fukudome wants to treat people's bona fide personal devastation as bathos. Who does he think he is? I mean, he contends that he is omnipotent. What planet is he from? The planet Sadistic? The answer to that question has broad implications. For example, we can all have daydreams about Happy Fuzzy Purple Bunny Land, where everyone is caring, loving, and nice. Not only will those daydreams not come true, but inasmuch as I disagree with Fukudome's accusations and find his ad hominem attacks offensive, I am happy to meet Fukudome's speech with more speech and, if necessary, continue this discussion until the truth shines.

 

By framing the question in this way we see that most of you reading this letter have your hearts in the right place. Now follow your hearts with actions. Fukudome reminds me of the thief who cries "Stop, thief!" to distract attention from his thievery. As long as I live, I will be shouting this truth from rooftops and doing everything I can to appeal not to the contented and satisfied, but embrace those tormented by suffering, those without peace, the unhappy and the discontented. Even if one isn't completely conversant with current events, the evidence overwhelmingly indicates that he says he's going to use paid informants and provocateurs to abandon the idea of universal principles and focus illegitimately on the particular by the end of the decade. Is he out of his quixotic mind? The answer is fairly obvious when you consider that we can no longer afford to do nothing about his unstable refrains. Instead, we must strike while the iron is hot and empower the oppressed to control their own lives.

 

Accordingly, Fukudome avers that society is screaming for his canards. As you can no doubt determine from comments like that, facts and Kosuke Fukudome are like oil and water. Doesn't he ever get tired of calling everyone a barbaric tightwad? We should give him a taste of his own medicine, yet perverted yokels are burdened with the preconceived ideas or feeble understanding of the circles to which they previously belonged both politically and philosophically. This sort of vertiginous paradox is well known to most invidious troglodytes. Instead of friends, Fukudome has victims and worshippers who end up as victims. I clearly feel sorry for the lot of them. I also feel that the ultimate aim of Fukudome's manifestos is to restructure society as a pyramid with Fukudome at the top, Fukudome's representatives directly underneath, blasphemous so-called experts beneath them, and the rest of at the bottom. This new societal structure will enable Fukudome to smear and defame me, which makes me realize that some people think I'm exaggerating when I say that he has all the characteristics of a dog except loyalty. But I'm not exaggerating; if anything, I'm understating the situation.

 

Fukudome's mottos can be subtle. They can be so subtle that many people never realize they're being influenced by them. That's why we must proactively notify humanity that many people are shocked when I tell them that you shouldn't let yourself be flummoxed by Fukudome's fast talk and air of self-confidence. And I'm shocked that so many people are shocked. You see, I had thought everybody already knew that Fukudome's a pretty good liar most of the time. However, he tells so many lies, he's bound to trip himself up someday. Kosuke Fukudome's conniving publicity stunts rightly deserve to be exposed to criticism. And that's the honest truth.

-------------------------

 

I can't believe no one has recognized this yet.

[Sammy Sofa]

This isht is real.

[badnews]

You guys must be too young to remember, this website was like the "All Your Base Are Belong To Us" of 2000:

 

http://www.pakin.org/complaint/

[Sammy Sofa]

No it wasn't.

[Outshined_One]

What the hell.

[badnews]

On the corner of the internet I was on in 2000, the complaint generator was right up there with All Your Base Are Belong To Us, Something Awful, Homestar Runner (Strong Bad), Acts of Gord, etc.