Books that won't be written by the 2006 Cubs

[Mizzou]

I stole this topic idea from another forum, but I got a good laugh out of it. And I figured it'd be even funnier if we apply it to the Cubs. So...

 

The Importance of OBP - Jim Hendry

 

Taking Responsibility - Dusty Baker

 

How To Hustle - Aramis Ramirez

 

How To Make The Most Of Your Opportunities - Ronny Cedeno

 

Let's see what the creative minds of NSBB come up with...

[Guest]

Baseclogging for Dummies

- all, edited and compiled by dusty baker

[Guest]

Controlling your pitchcounts - Carlos Zambrano

Making a good first impression - Rich Hill

 

Patience (Don't come back too soon) - Derrek Lee

 

How to stay healthy and fit - Cubs Medical Staff

[A New Era]

"How to break a bat on your leg" - Carlos Zambrano

 

"Good first impressions" - Juan Pierre

 

"Walking, the basics" - Dusty Baker

 

"Winning over payroll" - Andy MacPhail (FAIL)

 

"Spending money wisely" - Jim Hendry

[WrigleyField 22]

Not neccessarily for just 2006, just in general

How to Sell High and Buy Low Jim Hendry

 

Pacifism: Searching For Non-Violent Ways to Settle Disputes Michael Barrett

 

Recovery: How to Become Healthy in Three Easy Years Kerry Wood

 

Statistics 101: Jim Hendry and Dusty Baker

[biittner77]

Hitting for Power by Juan Pierre

 

Playing Shallow by Angel Pagan

 

The Truth about my Injury by Mark Prior

[goonys evil twin]

Unmitigated Joy: Life as a Fan of the 2006 Chicago Cubs by Me.

 

Neifi & Me: Life and Love with the World's Worst Baseball Player Dusty Baker

 

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Pitchers Larry Rothschild

 

Testicular Fortitude Michael Barrett

[soccer10k]

The Art of Making an Strong and Accurate Throw to Home Plate cowritten by Jacque Jones and Juan Pierre.

 

How to Throw the Ball to First Base by Ronny Cedeno

 

Getting the Opponent Out by Glendon Rusch

 

How to Close a Ballgame by Ryan Dempster

 

Throwing Strikes by the whole pitching staff

 

Winning Ballgames by Angel Guzman

 

Don't suck in spring training or you'll be exiled to AAA by Michael Wuertz

[Yestheydo]

Unmitigated Joy: Life as a Fan of the 2006 Chicago Cubs by Me.

 

Neifi & Me: Life and Love with the World's Worst Baseball Player Dusty Baker

 

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Pitchers Larry Rothschild

 

Testicular Fortitude Michael Barrett

 

I think we have a winner. I'd like several copies of each of these, please.

[AlwaysaCub]

The 5 keys to not getting doubled off - Jaque Jones

 

Catching Popups - Aramis Ramirez

[chuckywang]

Anger Management by Michael Barrett

[Soriano12]

Little League fundemantals 101 by Freddie Bynum

[Soriano12]

Eating disorders. How to avoid becoming a fat slob by Glendon Rush

[cubweiser03]

The Frontrunning Horse- Michael Weurtz

The Closing Horse- Ryan Dempster

Horse Insurance Management- Jim Hendry and Dusty Baker

Walking Tall- Juan Pierre

Work For Free- G. Rusch

Motorcycling for Dummies- Chris Speier

[OleMissCub]

Dusty Baker or: How I Learned to Stop Winning and Love the Loss, by Peter George

 

Are You There God? It's Me, a Cubs fan, by Judy Blume

 

No Light in August, by William Faulkner

 

To Kill a Ballclub, by Harper Lee

 

A Portrait of a Failure As a Cubs Manager, by James Joyce

 

The L-Flag Also Rises, by Ernest Hemingway

 

Gone With the Wins, by Margaret Mitchell

[UMFan83]

Heres the easy one:

 

Worth the Wait: A Story of the 2006 World Champion Chicago Cubs by Anyone

 

Consistancy by Ryan Dempster

 

Owning Up to Mistakes: A Self-Help Guide to Accountability by Dusty Baker

 

Loaded Guns: The Story of the 2006 Cubs Outfield by Juan Pierre, Jacque Jones and Matt Murton

 

Selling High by Jim Hendry

 

How I Became an Above Average Consistant Major League Position Player by any Cubs position prospect

[sweetpeteman]

How not to practically blow an 8 run lead in one inning by Marshall

[Laura]

How to Build a Winner in 25 Short Years by The Tribune Company

 

The Art of Losing: A Wrigleyville Diet by Jim Hendry

 

I Miss the Cubs. No, Really, I, Do by Greg Maddux

 

Hi, Everybody! by Mark O'Neal

 

Saving the Tigers by Neifi!

 

Our Meteoric Rise to the Big Leagues by Cubs First Round Draft Picks

 

ETA -- Books that Could Be Written:

 

It Seemed Like a Lifetime: My Memories of the '06 Cubs by Phil Nevin

 

But I Had a Second Baseman's Glove! by Ryan Theriot

 

Butchering the 7th Inning Stretch: A Management Guide by John McDonough

Edited September 19, 2006 by Laura

[CuseCubFan69]

Scream by Ron Santo

 

A Good Walk Spoiled by Dusty Baker

 

Cheaper by the Dozen by Jim Hendry

[biittner77]

The 2 Out Bunt by Neifi Perez

[UMFan83]

I forgot this one:

 

This Place Really Does Sell Itself: How to Be a Figurehead for an Extremely Profitable Company by John McDonough

[CubsInNC]

Chasing Lilly: This Right's for You by Michael Barrett

Dominance: The John Smoltz Comeback by Kerry Wood

Are You There God? It's me, Jerry Fontenot. by Jerry Fontenot

How to Conquer You Inner Cub: A Collection of Stories of Beating the Odds from Jerry Hairston, Greg Maddux, Phil Nevin, Neifi Perez, and Todd Walker

 

 

and last but not least, #1 on the unwritten best-seller list:

Seven Brides for Seven Second Basemen by Bynum, Cedeno, Hairston, Izturis, Perez, Theriot, and Womack

[JeffH]

From Rags to Riches - John Mabry

[vance_the_cubs_fan]

Why Novoa? by Michael Wuertz

[vance_the_cubs_fan]

The Missing C: Going from Closer to Loser in a Mere 6 Months by Ryan Dempster