5/7 Cubs (Lester) vs Marlins (Smith) 7:05 NBCSCH

[Andy]

The Sofa wave crashed out way too soon, but it's time to start another one.

 

 

No one better than B.D. Jon to start another winning streak tonight against some person named Caleb Smith. This is the first GIF result for 'who the horsefeathers is Caleb Smith gif'.

 

 

Go CUBS !

[squally1313]

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This pitcher is actually pretty decent, despite his MLB The Show minor league filler name. Almora is probably like our 6th best hitter against lefties when he's playing well, which he isn't, and when it's a normal lefty, which it isn't (lefties hit him a good amount better last year, and a little bit better this year). So of course, he will be getting the most PAs tonight.

[JudasIscariotTheBird]

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This pitcher is actually pretty decent, despite his MLB The Show minor league filler name. Almora is probably like our 6th best hitter against lefties when he's playing well, which he isn't, and when it's a normal lefty, which it isn't (lefties hit him a good amount better last year, and a little bit better this year). So of course, he will be getting the most PAs tonight.

This is approaching Dusty levels of incompetence.

[Andy]

Theo is going to have to step in and mothball Almora if this doesn't stop real damn quick.

[Cubswin11]

[Sammy Sofa]

Theo is going to have to step in and mothball Almora if this doesn't stop real damn quick.

 

I'd bet good money this useless turd is still as prominent as he is specifically because he was Theo and co.'s first first round pick.

[JudasIscariotTheBird]

Theo is going to have to step in and mothball Almora if this doesn't stop real damn quick.

 

I'd bet good money this useless turd is still as prominent as he is specifically because he was Theo and co.'s first first round pick.

If that's the case, then wtf is Happ in the minors?

[minnesotacubsfan]

if we lose, I blame the horsefeathering turtle

[Bull]

Theo is going to have to step in and mothball Almora if this doesn't stop real damn quick.

 

I'd bet good money this useless turd is still as prominent as he is specifically because he was Theo and co.'s first first round pick.

If that's the case, then wtf is Happ in the minors?

"reps"

[minnesotacubsfan]

Theo is going to have to step in and mothball Almora if this doesn't stop real damn quick.

 

I'd bet good money this useless turd is still as prominent as he is specifically because he was Theo and co.'s first first round pick.

If that's the case, then wtf is Happ in the minors?

 

either keeping a low profile after his last kill or being punished for not worshiping Addison

[Sammy Sofa]

Theo is going to have to step in and mothball Almora if this doesn't stop real damn quick.

 

I'd bet good money this useless turd is still as prominent as he is specifically because he was Theo and co.'s first first round pick.

If that's the case, then wtf is Happ in the minors?

 

Doing whatever guys who aren't Theo's first first round pick do.

[JudasIscariotTheBird]

 

I'd bet good money this useless turd is still as prominent as he is specifically because he was Theo and co.'s first first round pick.

If that's the case, then wtf is Happ in the minors?

 

Doing whatever guys who aren't Theo's first first round pick do.

I see. So you think Theo has a powerpoint on his laptop where he ranks all of his first round picks based on how long ago he made the pick? Do you think he values his 3rd round pick from 2015 more or less than his 2nd round pick from 2017? Does he have a rubric to keep all of this straight?

[jersey cubs fan]

[Sammy Sofa]

If that's the case, then wtf is Happ in the minors?

 

Doing whatever guys who aren't Theo's first first round pick do.

I see. So you think Theo has a powerpoint on his laptop where he ranks all of his first round picks based on how long ago he made the pick? Do you think he values his 3rd round pick from 2015 more or less than his 2nd round pick from 2017? Does he have a rubric to keep all of this straight?

 

I think he has ARod's centaur painting on his wall with Almora's face taped over it*.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*"It" being, of course, the majestic ARod centaur dick.

[JudasIscariotTheBird]

[Sammy Sofa]

if we lose, I blame the horsefeathering turtle

 

His disgusting-looking legs are actually making me a little angry.

[UMFan83]

Almora leading off tonight.

 

Just a reminder that Almora has a .552 OPS over his last 300 professional PAs.

 

Slash line: .234/.268/.284

 

 

Also, he used to be semi-dangerous against LHP to the point where I was comfortable with him facing LHPs (See Game 3 2017 NLDS), but in an admittedly small sample size of 33 PA, he has a .373 OPS against LHPs this year.

Edited May 7, 2019 by UMFan83

[Cubswin11]

Almora leading off tonight.

 

Just a reminder that Almora has a .552 OPS over his last 300 professional PAs.

 

Slash line: .234/.268/.284

[Cubswin11]

Almora leading off tonight.

 

Just a reminder that Almora has a .552 OPS over his last 300 professional PAs.

 

Slash line: .234/.268/.284

 

 

Also, he used to be semi-dangerous against LHP to the point where I was comfortable with him facing LHPs (See Game 3 2017 NLDS), but in an admittedly small sample size of 33 PA, he has a .373 OPS against LHPs this year.

That’s a wRC+ of 3, horsefeathering THREE vs LHP this year. Going back to last June vs LHP (when the BABIP corrected +/-) he is at .241/.282/.284 .253 wOBA, 55 wRC+, .289 BABIP, 4% BB rate and 16% K rate, 60% GB rate vs LHP (124 PAs). Cool, cool stuff

[BigSlick]

I'd sacrifice a goat to the Baseball Gods to have Albert Almora banished from this team

 

someone tell me what i can do, anything, to send this man away

[Cubswin11]

Zobrist scratched for “personal reasons.” Hopefully everything is okay, he was a late arrival to spring for personal reasons, apparently his wife deleted her Instagram account.

[sweetpeteman]

Zobrist scratched for “personal reasons.” Hopefully everything is okay, he was a late arrival to spring for personal reasons, apparently his wife deleted her Instagram account.

 

 

We'll know there's something up when he stops using her cover of Bennie and the Jets as his walk-up music.

[We Got The Whole 9]

Almora leading off tonight.

 

Just a reminder that Almora has a .552 OPS over his last 300 professional PAs.

 

Slash line: .234/.268/.284

 

 

Also, he used to be semi-dangerous against LHP to the point where I was comfortable with him facing LHPs (See Game 3 2017 NLDS), but in an admittedly small sample size of 33 PA, he has a .373 OPS against LHPs this year.

That’s a wRC+ of 3, horsefeathering THREE vs LHP this year. Going back to last June vs LHP (when the BABIP corrected +/-) he is at .241/.282/.284 .253 wOBA, 55 wRC+, .289 BABIP, 4% BB rate and 16% K rate, 60% GB rate vs LHP (124 PAs). Cool, cool stuff

I used to be all for him vs LHP but the league has figured him out big time. He seriously sucks. Since the start of 2018 Schwarber has a better line vs LHP. But he will never ever lead off against them and players have to be scratched for him to even get a chance.

[UMFan83]

Zobrist scratched for “personal reasons.” Hopefully everything is okay, he was a late arrival to spring for personal reasons, apparently his wife deleted her Instagram account.

 

We’re finally about to sign Harper!

[Sammy Sofa]

NO BUNTS, DAMMIT.