100 reasons the Cubs will be better in 2006

[Chris]

34 to 72?

 

Has anyone mentioned that they'll catch the ball in 2006? If not:

 

32) They will catch the ball

[Marco4]

31) A waxwork statue of certain Cubs to be used for the first two pitches of every at-bat, therefore ensuring that even they always see at least two pitches before striking out/putting the ball in play.

 

Cubs with good control allowed to continue as normal.

[MPrior]

30) The teams collective line will be .239/.287/.386, but, due to an extraordinary clubhouse chemistry, they will score 987 runs.

 

Edited cause I was beat to #31.

[10man]

29) Everytime a Cub commits a stupid mistake on the basepaths, Kyle Farnsworth will be flown in to tackle the guy.

[chicubs310]

28 ) Wrigley field is still the greatest ball park in baseball, we just can fit 1000 more fans into the games in october now

 

27 ) Every possible curse has been killed, therefore we cant be cursed in 2006!

[Ding Dong Johnson]

26) #26 will come out of retirement and show these bums how to play

[B]

25) Daley will try to bring a 3rd team to Chicago to play in the Olympic Dome, thus forcing the Cubs to try harder to please their fan base.

[bsucubsfan]

Koronka, Bartosh, Leicester, Remlinger, e. wilson, mitre, fox, and borowski WILL NOT see wrigley field as a member of the cubs

[Bergy92]

31) A waxwork statue of certain Cubs to be used for the first two pitches of every at-bat, therefore ensuring that even they always see at least two pitches before striking out/putting the ball in play.

 

Cubs with good control allowed to continue as normal.

 

How do you strike out with just 2 pitches - I suppose if anyone can, ours could...

 

24) No freak injuries

[hardcorecubfan]

56) Anna Benson says she will sleep with all of the Cubs if they win the WS, thereby forcing them into winning.

 

53. Anna Benson says she will sleep with posters at NSBB if the Cubs win the WS. :lol:

 

Who is she????

[Ding Dong Johnson]

56) Anna Benson says she will sleep with all of the Cubs if they win the WS, thereby forcing them into winning.

 

53. Anna Benson says she will sleep with posters at NSBB if the Cubs win the WS. :lol:

 

Who is she????

 

Ahem

[Nobody youd want to know]

23.) We'll still be able to watch Corey and Macias play every day... for the Gary SouthShore RailCats.

[Bull]

22) Kerry Wood will FINALLY have that breakout season we've been predicting here for 3 years, simply because noone has predicted it this year

 

 

...OH CRAP, jinxed again.

 

21) Dempster, Howry and Eyre will anchor the best bullpen in baseball.

 

20) Baker will go fishing in Lake Michigan and mysteriously dissappear.

[Bull]

um....

 

Can't be better if we don't hit 100!

[Diffusion]

19) When Prior goes down with a fluke injury, and Wood goes down with a serious injury, Sean Marshall and Angel Guzman save the day by each winning 20 games with ERAs below two. However, both are controversially overlooked in the Cy Young, finishing second and third to Carlos Zambrano, who posts a 5.98 ERA due to Dusty Baker's finally ruining his pitching arm. Explaining their decision, the Baseball Writers state that the reason for their controversial Cy Young selection was Zambrano's 21 wins, which is more than 20. Z's 21 wins are explained by him hitting .472/.693/.868 at the plate using just his left arm.

[SeldomSeen]

18) MLB is considering contracting 4 teams. If we can get it done this year, and all 4 come from the NL Central, we're guaranteed no worse than 2nd.

[Diffusion]

18.) MLB is considering contracting 4 teams. If we can get it done this year, and all 4 come from the NL Central, we're guaranteed no worse than 2nd.

 

17) The Cubs being one of the four teams from the NL Central that is contracted, they lose 83 less games than they did in 2005.

[soccer10k]

16) Kyle Farnsworth-less still isn't on the team.

 

15) Corey "If I let a pitch go by without swinging at it I'm disappointed" Patterson is gone.

 

14) A competant bullpen.

 

Schwing

http://www.annabenson.net/gallery.htm

[Andy]

13) As of yet, we still don't have a reliever that has been labeled a gutless choking dog by an NSBB member.

[Fro]

12) MLB drug testing causes many hitters and pitchers on rival teams to have down years from the norm or retire. The current Cubs team miraclously is 100% clean.

[Bull]

11) The new book on Bonds and steroids names Baker as a steroid pusher and he is banned from baseball for life.

[jjgman21]

10. The NL is down and no team but the Cubs win more than 90 games, but they manage to win the all-star game. The Cubs, otherwise a .500 team, are so inspired by Ron Santo's singing, they are perfect in the games he sings the 7th inning stretch and finish with 91 wins. The Cubs are winless on the road in the playoffs and World Series, but Santo sings in every post-season home game inspiring the Cubs to a World Series victory.

[Bull]

Recap from the Top

 

100) Healthy Wood Pray

99) Healthy Prior(no lie rives hitting elbow)

98) Full season of MATT MURTON

97) A reliable closer

96) Hendry will choke and die on a donut that was just filled with too much jelly, forcing the hiring of a new GM who will fire Dusty and get rid of that stupid French guy in RF

95)The cool French Guy in CF will return to 2003-05 numbers

94) more solidified bench with the addition of Mabry (and subtraction of Macias)

93) More PT for Murton

92) A real lead off hitter in Pierre

91) With all the Frenchmen Hendry will switch to croissants instead of donuts thus losing 150 lbs.

90) Patterson, Perez not starting

89) That French guy in RF returning to 2002-2003 numbers.

88) The 2 new guys in the bullpen greatly improve over lasts years group.

87) by the time #78 comes around people will have realized that it turns your number into a smiley face and will do something to prevent it

86) (I'll do a 2 for one since that last one didn't count) Both Hendry and Baker are in contract years, so they will both want to win it all this year. Also this is Maddux's last year in the majors, giving him more incentive to win.

85) A healthy & rejuvenated ARam groin = 0.950 OPS

84)The Midseason Trade!

83) Magnets will be put on Dusty's dugout dice so he always make a good line-up.

82) The new bleachers will block out more of the sun so the white players won't wear down as quickly.

81) Carlos Zambrano will continue to dominate, going 22-5 with a 1.99 ERA.

80.) An MRI Machine will be installed in the dugout... this, injured players will return sooner.

79.) Dusty will be given a lifetime supply of toothpicks.

78.) An Anti-Joe Morgan forcefield will be installed around the city of Chicago.

77. The Cardinals and Astros will be worse this year, making the Cubs look better.

76) LaTroy Hawkins not a Cub

75) No "veteran lefty" to steal time from rookies

74) The Cubs will trade for Adam Dunn, thereby forcing ManCrushOnNomar to change his name to Douchebag McGee.

73) Dusty will not be able to call on Remlinger to get lefties out

72) Prior,Wood, J.Jones & Grissom will all revert back to their 03' numbers

71) Corey won't be leading off

70) Hopefully, Corey won't be wearing Cubbie blue

69) I got 69 on the countdown.

68. Dusty learned so much from the multitude of mistakes he made last year.

69) Since his 69 wasn't real. Dusty is in the last year of his contract so maybe he'll get traded before he becomes a free agent. I got the real 69 Laughing

67) They have decided to stop handing out so many pitcher injury cards before and during the season. (No doubt me getting 69 on this board will make the Cubs less sucky because they'll have to spend less time worrying about who got 69)

66) Michael Barrett won't be sporting an ugly goatee.

65) Sammy still isn't in right field.

64) No more Neifi/Macias/Patterson batting leadoff

63) Dusty Baker possibly resigning in frustration before the end of spring training

62) Felix Pie

61) Wrigley still beats the hell out of that other park on the South Side.

60) Juan Pierre wil score 130 runs, leading to a WS title, and have to make up a new song. No more "wiggly feel" or "ivry."

59) someone with a slightly better glove then todd walker but with a 700 ops is at second base and saves the season

58 )Maddux travels back in time to return to the Cubs in a revitalized, younger self ala Pedro.

57) The Bear's Superbowl victory inspires the Cubs to beat out the Cardinals for the division.

56) Anna Benson says she will sleep with all of the Cubs if they win the WS, thereby forcing them into winning.

55) We know why there is shadows where light can't reach, so none of the players will be pondering this, so they won't be put off.

54) I'm drunk right now!

53. Anna Benson says she will sleep with posters at NSBB if the Cubs win the WS. Laughing

52) About 1 thousand more bleacher bums will be making a mess.

51) A repeat or better the head to head performance v.s. the Cardinals. The Cubs were 10-6 v.s. STL in the 05' season series.

50.) The Cubs will be in first place after April thus creating such a positive movement within NSBB that the board will never go down again!