Cubs hire Jason Parks

[imb]

"There's no reason to be afraid, there's no reason to be afraid there's no reason to be afraid."

 

No matter how often he repeated it, he knew it wasn't true. There was lots to be afraid of, of this he was sure.

 

"Enjoy the new office, Jason," Theo had said. But there was something sinister in his smile, he knew it. Before long, a long time employee stopped by and stuck his head in. There was a knowing look on his face.

 

"Room 223, huh?" He said.

 

"Yeah," Parks replied. "Look ... Is there something I should know?" After he said that out loud, he began to realize that most of the other employees had stayed away ever since he got settled in that morning.

 

"Look," the man told him, "I shouldn't be saying this, but ... No one who's worked in this office has stayed long. They say it's haunted. The last three people who've worked here have gone mad."

 

"Haunted? That's not rig." He laughed at his awkward joke, but the other man did not. He left, and Parks was again on his own.

 

"Haunted, that's stupid." He wiped his sweaty brow. The room was completely empty when he came in this morning, with nothing but cheap furniture haphazardly placed in the corner. Come to think of it, it was hotter than normal inside the office. Maybe that corner desk was blocking a vent or something.

 

He walked over and gave it a tug. He was right, it was cheap, and light, and it moved easily. As he pulled it away from the wall, there was a crash. A small picture frame had been tucked tightly behind the desk and had fallen facedown on the floor.

 

He picked it up, bemused by the frame. It looked homemade, and ugly, but he was a fan of the absurd and the picture was certainly that. He placed it on his desk. Hell, why not. He'd taken the job suddenly and hadn't moved many personal items with him.

 

Besides, the picture was funny to look at. The teenager, all hair gel and sideburns, airborne. His legs out to the side, and anger in his face as he practiced some pathetic karate move. Parks laughed and went to stand up. That's when he noticed the eyes ...

 

They were following him.

[WrigleyField 22]

Bahahahahaha

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Guest]

ahahahahaha

[snoodmonger]

"There's no reason to be afraid, there's no reason to be afraid there's no reason to be afraid."

 

No matter how often he repeated it, he knew it wasn't true. There was lots to be afraid of, of this he was sure.

 

"Enjoy the new office, Jason," Theo had said. But there was something sinister in his smile, he knew it. Before long, a long time employee stopped by and stuck his head in. There was a knowing look on his face.

 

"Room 223, huh?" He said.

 

"Yeah," Parks replied. "Look ... Is there something I should know?" After he said that out loud, he began to realize that most of the other employees had stayed away ever since he got settled in that morning.

 

"Look," the man told him, "I shouldn't be saying this, but ... No one who's worked in this office has stayed long. They say it's haunted. The last three people who've worked here have gone mad."

 

"Haunted? That's not rig." He laughed at his awkward joke, but the other man did not. He left, and Parks was again on his own.

 

"Haunted, that's stupid." He wiped his sweaty brow. The room was completely empty when he came in this morning, with nothing but cheap furniture haphazardly placed in the corner. Come to think of it, it was hotter than normal inside the office. Maybe that corner desk was blocking a vent or something.

 

He walked over and gave it a tug. He was right, it was cheap, and light, and it moved easily. As he pulled it away from the wall, there was a crash. A small picture frame had been tucked tightly behind the desk and had fallen facedown on the floor.

 

He picked it up, bemused by the frame. It looked homemade, and ugly, but he was a fan of the absurd and the picture was certainly that. He placed it on his desk. Hell, why not. He'd taken the job suddenly and hadn't moved many personal items with him.

 

Besides, the picture was funny to look at. The teenager, all hair gel and sideburns, airborne. His legs out to the side, and anger in his face as he practiced some pathetic karate move. Parks laughed and went to stand up. That's when he noticed the eyes ...

 

They were following him.

 

Omg

[ConstableRabbit]

For all of his flaws, I kinda like Parks.

[gscool89]

"There's no reason to be afraid, there's no reason to be afraid there's no reason to be afraid."

 

No matter how often he repeated it, he knew it wasn't true. There was lots to be afraid of, of this he was sure.

 

"Enjoy the new office, Jason," Theo had said. But there was something sinister in his smile, he knew it. Before long, a long time employee stopped by and stuck his head in. There was a knowing look on his face.

 

"Room 223, huh?" He said.

 

"Yeah," Parks replied. "Look ... Is there something I should know?" After he said that out loud, he began to realize that most of the other employees had stayed away ever since he got settled in that morning.

 

"Look," the man told him, "I shouldn't be saying this, but ... No one who's worked in this office has stayed long. They say it's haunted. The last three people who've worked here have gone mad."

 

"Haunted? That's not rig." He laughed at his awkward joke, but the other man did not. He left, and Parks was again on his own.

 

"Haunted, that's stupid." He wiped his sweaty brow. The room was completely empty when he came in this morning, with nothing but cheap furniture haphazardly placed in the corner. Come to think of it, it was hotter than normal inside the office. Maybe that corner desk was blocking a vent or something.

 

He walked over and gave it a tug. He was right, it was cheap, and light, and it moved easily. As he pulled it away from the wall, there was a crash. A small picture frame had been tucked tightly behind the desk and had fallen facedown on the floor.

 

He picked it up, bemused by the frame. It looked homemade, and ugly, but he was a fan of the absurd and the picture was certainly that. He placed it on his desk. Hell, why not. He'd taken the job suddenly and hadn't moved many personal items with him.

 

Besides, the picture was funny to look at. The teenager, all hair gel and sideburns, airborne. His legs out to the side, and anger in his face as he practiced some pathetic karate move. Parks laughed and went to stand up. That's when he noticed the eyes ...

 

They were following him.

http://media.giphy.com/media/5ZosQz0wbTcCA/giphy.gif

[Guest]

"There's no reason to be afraid, there's no reason to be afraid there's no reason to be afraid."

 

No matter how often he repeated it, he knew it wasn't true. There was lots to be afraid of, of this he was sure.

 

"Enjoy the new office, Jason," Theo had said. But there was something sinister in his smile, he knew it. Before long, a long time employee stopped by and stuck his head in. There was a knowing look on his face.

 

"Room 223, huh?" He said.

 

"Yeah," Parks replied. "Look ... Is there something I should know?" After he said that out loud, he began to realize that most of the other employees had stayed away ever since he got settled in that morning.

 

"Look," the man told him, "I shouldn't be saying this, but ... No one who's worked in this office has stayed long. They say it's haunted. The last three people who've worked here have gone mad."

 

"Haunted? That's not rig." He laughed at his awkward joke, but the other man did not. He left, and Parks was again on his own.

 

"Haunted, that's stupid." He wiped his sweaty brow. The room was completely empty when he came in this morning, with nothing but cheap furniture haphazardly placed in the corner. Come to think of it, it was hotter than normal inside the office. Maybe that corner desk was blocking a vent or something.

 

He walked over and gave it a tug. He was right, it was cheap, and light, and it moved easily. As he pulled it away from the wall, there was a crash. A small picture frame had been tucked tightly behind the desk and had fallen facedown on the floor.

 

He picked it up, bemused by the frame. It looked homemade, and ugly, but he was a fan of the absurd and the picture was certainly that. He placed it on his desk. Hell, why not. He'd taken the job suddenly and hadn't moved many personal items with him.

 

Besides, the picture was funny to look at. The teenager, all hair gel and sideburns, airborne. His legs out to the side, and anger in his face as he practiced some pathetic karate move. Parks laughed and went to stand up. That's when he noticed the eyes ...

 

They were following him.

 

how do you do it

[Sammy Sofa]

"There's no reason to be afraid, there's no reason to be afraid there's no reason to be afraid."

 

No matter how often he repeated it, he knew it wasn't true. There was lots to be afraid of, of this he was sure.

 

"Enjoy the new office, Jason," Theo had said. But there was something sinister in his smile, he knew it. Before long, a long time employee stopped by and stuck his head in. There was a knowing look on his face.

 

"Room 223, huh?" He said.

 

"Yeah," Parks replied. "Look ... Is there something I should know?" After he said that out loud, he began to realize that most of the other employees had stayed away ever since he got settled in that morning.

 

"Look," the man told him, "I shouldn't be saying this, but ... No one who's worked in this office has stayed long. They say it's haunted. The last three people who've worked here have gone mad."

 

"Haunted? That's not rig." He laughed at his awkward joke, but the other man did not. He left, and Parks was again on his own.

 

"Haunted, that's stupid." He wiped his sweaty brow. The room was completely empty when he came in this morning, with nothing but cheap furniture haphazardly placed in the corner. Come to think of it, it was hotter than normal inside the office. Maybe that corner desk was blocking a vent or something.

 

He walked over and gave it a tug. He was right, it was cheap, and light, and it moved easily. As he pulled it away from the wall, there was a crash. A small picture frame had been tucked tightly behind the desk and had fallen facedown on the floor.

 

He picked it up, bemused by the frame. It looked homemade, and ugly, but he was a fan of the absurd and the picture was certainly that. He placed it on his desk. Hell, why not. He'd taken the job suddenly and hadn't moved many personal items with him.

 

Besides, the picture was funny to look at. The teenager, all hair gel and sideburns, airborne. His legs out to the side, and anger in his face as he practiced some pathetic karate move. Parks laughed and went to stand up. That's when he noticed the eyes ...

 

They were following him.

 

http://cjzero.com/gifs/BoozerWoodsonFace.gif

[Hairyducked Idiot]

Kyle, troll him while he still has a twitter.

 

My plan is to try to forget this is a thing as quickly as possible.

[weis21]

"There's no reason to be afraid, there's no reason to be afraid there's no reason to be afraid."

 

No matter how often he repeated it, he knew it wasn't true. There was lots to be afraid of, of this he was sure.

 

"Enjoy the new office, Jason," Theo had said. But there was something sinister in his smile, he knew it. Before long, a long time employee stopped by and stuck his head in. There was a knowing look on his face.

 

"Room 223, huh?" He said.

 

"Yeah," Parks replied. "Look ... Is there something I should know?" After he said that out loud, he began to realize that most of the other employees had stayed away ever since he got settled in that morning.

 

"Look," the man told him, "I shouldn't be saying this, but ... No one who's worked in this office has stayed long. They say it's haunted. The last three people who've worked here have gone mad."

 

"Haunted? That's not rig." He laughed at his awkward joke, but the other man did not. He left, and Parks was again on his own.

 

"Haunted, that's stupid." He wiped his sweaty brow. The room was completely empty when he came in this morning, with nothing but cheap furniture haphazardly placed in the corner. Come to think of it, it was hotter than normal inside the office. Maybe that corner desk was blocking a vent or something.

 

He walked over and gave it a tug. He was right, it was cheap, and light, and it moved easily. As he pulled it away from the wall, there was a crash. A small picture frame had been tucked tightly behind the desk and had fallen facedown on the floor.

 

He picked it up, bemused by the frame. It looked homemade, and ugly, but he was a fan of the absurd and the picture was certainly that. He placed it on his desk. Hell, why not. He'd taken the job suddenly and hadn't moved many personal items with him.

 

Besides, the picture was funny to look at. The teenager, all hair gel and sideburns, airborne. His legs out to the side, and anger in his face as he practiced some pathetic karate move. Parks laughed and went to stand up. That's when he noticed the eyes ...

 

They were following him.

http://replygif.net/i/376.gif

 

And now two people have stopped by my office to ask what is so funny...

[wekim81]

great work imb!

[Guancous]

Never really understood the degree of animosity towards that dude here. I do know I will miss his podcasts.

 

Jason and Kevin Goldstein had one of the best podcasts ever. Learned multiple things each episode too.

[Guest]

Does this mean he has to unblock me on twitter?

[rawaction]

"There's no reason to be afraid, there's no reason to be afraid there's no reason to be afraid."

 

No matter how often he repeated it, he knew it wasn't true. There was lots to be afraid of, of this he was sure.

 

"Enjoy the new office, Jason," Theo had said. But there was something sinister in his smile, he knew it. Before long, a long time employee stopped by and stuck his head in. There was a knowing look on his face.

 

"Room 223, huh?" He said.

 

"Yeah," Parks replied. "Look ... Is there something I should know?" After he said that out loud, he began to realize that most of the other employees had stayed away ever since he got settled in that morning.

 

"Look," the man told him, "I shouldn't be saying this, but ... No one who's worked in this office has stayed long. They say it's haunted. The last three people who've worked here have gone mad."

 

"Haunted? That's not rig." He laughed at his awkward joke, but the other man did not. He left, and Parks was again on his own.

 

"Haunted, that's stupid." He wiped his sweaty brow. The room was completely empty when he came in this morning, with nothing but cheap furniture haphazardly placed in the corner. Come to think of it, it was hotter than normal inside the office. Maybe that corner desk was blocking a vent or something.

 

He walked over and gave it a tug. He was right, it was cheap, and light, and it moved easily. As he pulled it away from the wall, there was a crash. A small picture frame had been tucked tightly behind the desk and had fallen facedown on the floor.

 

He picked it up, bemused by the frame. It looked homemade, and ugly, but he was a fan of the absurd and the picture was certainly that. He placed it on his desk. Hell, why not. He'd taken the job suddenly and hadn't moved many personal items with him.

 

Besides, the picture was funny to look at. The teenager, all hair gel and sideburns, airborne. His legs out to the side, and anger in his face as he practiced some pathetic karate move. Parks laughed and went to stand up. That's when he noticed the eyes ...

 

They were following him.

 

Amazing!

[Clem Fandango]

Never really understood the degree of animosity towards that dude here. I do know I will miss his podcasts.

 

he's a weirdo

 

i like his info but he's borderline creepy

 

Agreed. You have to separate the persona and the information he gives. He is definitely a weird guy, though.

 

That and he kept insisting Baez wasn't as good as Lindor and had too many concerns, etc, etc and then Kyle called him out for not paying attention enough and probably playing catch up in the offseason and instead of handling it like and adult he got defensive and spewed out the equivalent of "Nuh uh! Nuh uh!" and insisted he had some of the most detailed and accurate reports delivered to him by scouts that back up what he says, and then after the offseason he played catch up and was like "Wow you guys, he's amazing and the 4th best prospect in baseball" basically.

 

He kind of lost some credibility from me in that regard. He provides good info, don't get me wrong, but Kyle straight up called him out, and he basically admitted he operates off second hand scouting reports, which is why hiring him as a scout is confusing to me. I'm sure he's plenty of capable of scouting himself, but whatever.

 

That said, I'm sure it will be fine and I personally don't care about the hire. He just went from a guy I viewed as providing great info to a douche canoe who tried to create his own lexicon and who reneged on his statements after seasons end when he insisted they were the gospel according to Parks all season long.

[SouthSideRyan]

This should give encouragement to the 90% of the Cubs blogosphere that's angling to get hired.

 

Brett should get that call from Vineline any day now

[Hairyducked Idiot]

Yeah, it's the whole "I'm a Professional so I can spread myself out over 30 systems and know more than you could possibly hope to about your favorite team's prospects" thing that all the prospect pundits do.

 

I did enjoy his BP Podcast and am sure he'll do a fine job.

[CubInOK]

I want you to eat this farewell.

 

http://www.publishingcrawl.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Bill-Murray-Confused.gif

[vance_the_cubs_fan]

"There's no reason to be afraid, there's no reason to be afraid there's no reason to be afraid."

 

No matter how often he repeated it, he knew it wasn't true. There was lots to be afraid of, of this he was sure.

 

"Enjoy the new office, Jason," Theo had said. But there was something sinister in his smile, he knew it. Before long, a long time employee stopped by and stuck his head in. There was a knowing look on his face.

 

"Room 223, huh?" He said.

 

"Yeah," Parks replied. "Look ... Is there something I should know?" After he said that out loud, he began to realize that most of the other employees had stayed away ever since he got settled in that morning.

 

"Look," the man told him, "I shouldn't be saying this, but ... No one who's worked in this office has stayed long. They say it's haunted. The last three people who've worked here have gone mad."

 

"Haunted? That's not rig." He laughed at his awkward joke, but the other man did not. He left, and Parks was again on his own.

 

"Haunted, that's stupid." He wiped his sweaty brow. The room was completely empty when he came in this morning, with nothing but cheap furniture haphazardly placed in the corner. Come to think of it, it was hotter than normal inside the office. Maybe that corner desk was blocking a vent or something.

 

He walked over and gave it a tug. He was right, it was cheap, and light, and it moved easily. As he pulled it away from the wall, there was a crash. A small picture frame had been tucked tightly behind the desk and had fallen facedown on the floor.

 

He picked it up, bemused by the frame. It looked homemade, and ugly, but he was a fan of the absurd and the picture was certainly that. He placed it on his desk. Hell, why not. He'd taken the job suddenly and hadn't moved many personal items with him.

 

Besides, the picture was funny to look at. The teenager, all hair gel and sideburns, airborne. His legs out to the side, and anger in his face as he practiced some pathetic karate move. Parks laughed and went to stand up. That's when he noticed the eyes ...

 

They were following him.

 

http://media.giphy.com/media/yzTOmFjGLhGsE/giphy.gif

[TruffleShuffle]

"There's no reason to be afraid, there's no reason to be afraid there's no reason to be afraid."

 

No matter how often he repeated it, he knew it wasn't true. There was lots to be afraid of, of this he was sure.

 

"Enjoy the new office, Jason," Theo had said. But there was something sinister in his smile, he knew it. Before long, a long time employee stopped by and stuck his head in. There was a knowing look on his face.

 

"Room 223, huh?" He said.

 

"Yeah," Parks replied. "Look ... Is there something I should know?" After he said that out loud, he began to realize that most of the other employees had stayed away ever since he got settled in that morning.

 

"Look," the man told him, "I shouldn't be saying this, but ... No one who's worked in this office has stayed long. They say it's haunted. The last three people who've worked here have gone mad."

 

"Haunted? That's not rig." He laughed at his awkward joke, but the other man did not. He left, and Parks was again on his own.

 

"Haunted, that's stupid." He wiped his sweaty brow. The room was completely empty when he came in this morning, with nothing but cheap furniture haphazardly placed in the corner. Come to think of it, it was hotter than normal inside the office. Maybe that corner desk was blocking a vent or something.

 

He walked over and gave it a tug. He was right, it was cheap, and light, and it moved easily. As he pulled it away from the wall, there was a crash. A small picture frame had been tucked tightly behind the desk and had fallen facedown on the floor.

 

He picked it up, bemused by the frame. It looked homemade, and ugly, but he was a fan of the absurd and the picture was certainly that. He placed it on his desk. Hell, why not. He'd taken the job suddenly and hadn't moved many personal items with him.

 

Besides, the picture was funny to look at. The teenager, all hair gel and sideburns, airborne. His legs out to the side, and anger in his face as he practiced some pathetic karate move. Parks laughed and went to stand up. That's when he noticed the eyes ...

 

They were following him.

 

http://cdn.niketalk.com/3/31/31ebeabd_a4bk29.gif

[jiml60]

"There's no reason to be afraid, there's no reason to be afraid there's no reason to be afraid."

 

No matter how often he repeated it, he knew it wasn't true. There was lots to be afraid of, of this he was sure.

 

"Enjoy the new office, Jason," Theo had said. But there was something sinister in his smile, he knew it. Before long, a long time employee stopped by and stuck his head in. There was a knowing look on his face.

 

"Room 223, huh?" He said.

 

"Yeah," Parks replied. "Look ... Is there something I should know?" After he said that out loud, he began to realize that most of the other employees had stayed away ever since he got settled in that morning.

 

"Look," the man told him, "I shouldn't be saying this, but ... No one who's worked in this office has stayed long. They say it's haunted. The last three people who've worked here have gone mad."

 

"Haunted? That's not rig." He laughed at his awkward joke, but the other man did not. He left, and Parks was again on his own.

 

"Haunted, that's stupid." He wiped his sweaty brow. The room was completely empty when he came in this morning, with nothing but cheap furniture haphazardly placed in the corner. Come to think of it, it was hotter than normal inside the office. Maybe that corner desk was blocking a vent or something.

 

He walked over and gave it a tug. He was right, it was cheap, and light, and it moved easily. As he pulled it away from the wall, there was a crash. A small picture frame had been tucked tightly behind the desk and had fallen facedown on the floor.

 

He picked it up, bemused by the frame. It looked homemade, and ugly, but he was a fan of the absurd and the picture was certainly that. He placed it on his desk. Hell, why not. He'd taken the job suddenly and hadn't moved many personal items with him.

 

Besides, the picture was funny to look at. The teenager, all hair gel and sideburns, airborne. His legs out to the side, and anger in his face as he practiced some pathetic karate move. Parks laughed and went to stand up. That's when he noticed the eyes ...

 

They were following him.

 

http://www.erik27.com/misc/duh/meh.jpg

[ctcf]

The final episode of the Fringe Average podcast that Parks had with Mike Ferrin is worth a listen if you have the time. He's pretty grounded/serious for the duration (no #RIGs and such for you folks who can't stand it for some reason). Really seems to buy into the Cubs program and I'd have to imagine he probably passed up a chance to work for his boy Preller and the Padres.

[imb]

I like Mike Ferrin.

[ctcf]

I like Mike Ferrin.

 

Yeah, he's pretty entertaining. I hope he gets a new podcast at BP.

[sneakypower]

even in that episode Parks' personality is still hugely grating