Cubs, Neifi Perez agree on 2-year contract

[USSoccer]

Jon has officially gone off the deep end. Welcome to our world, Jon. Welcome to our world.

 

Yes....join us. =P~

[Banedon]

He's good. He's going to get better," Perez said of Cedeno. "He impressed me. I think he can play in the big leagues. Sometimes the manager goes for the veteran guys, and I'm going to be there. Any way I can help them out, I'll help them out. Any questions they ask me, I'll do it the right way. I just want to win. Let's play together and win games.

 

Sometimes??? Maybe with most managers...

 

"I played bad in Kansas City because my heart wasn't there," Perez said. "It was tough to play in San Francisco. If you go 1-for-4, you have to go 2-for-2 every day to play in San Francisco. When I was struggling [with the Cubs], I was hitting the ball hard and [baker] didn't sit me. I think I was 1-for-27 and [baker] gave me the confidence to get out of that slump.

 

Translation: I wanted to play for Chicago because I knew Dusty was dumb enough to play me every day.

Edited November 8, 2005 by Banedon

[CuseCubFan69]

He's good. He's going to get better," Perez said of Cedeno. "He impressed me. I think he can play in the big leagues. Sometimes the manager goes for the veteran guys, and I'm going to be there. Any way I can help them out, I'll help them out. Any questions they ask me, I'll do it the right way. I just want to win. Let's play together and win games.

 

Sometimes??? Maybe with most managers...

 

He was talking about Caesar Cedeno Banedon.

[USSoccer]

He's good. He's going to get better," Perez said of Cedeno. "He impressed me. I think he can play in the big leagues. Sometimes the manager goes for the veteran guys, and I'm going to be there. Any way I can help them out, I'll help them out. Any questions they ask me, I'll do it the right way. I just want to win. Let's play together and win games.

 

Sometimes??? Maybe with most managers...

 

He was talking about Caesar Cedeno Banedon.

 

Are you sure it wasn't Andujar?

[Proven Veteran]

http://img205.imageshack.us/img205/4333/neifi2te.jpg

 

 

:shock:

[Banedon]

http://img205.imageshack.us/img205/4333/neifi2te.jpg

 

 

:shock:

 

So lifelike.

[Proven Veteran]

http://img205.imageshack.us/img205/4333/neifi2te.jpg

 

 

:shock:

 

So lifelike.

 

I know, how did the photographer get into the perez compound to take the picture?

[ToupeeOnFire]

Todd Walker should go on a Frank Grimes-esque rant. I think it would go something like this...

 

 

Walker: "Oh, I, I can't stand it any longer. This whole organization is insane. Insane, I tell you! [snaps mentally] Daahh! Aaah! I can suck, too! [takes his uniform off, and moons one of the clubhouse managers] Look at me, I am a worthless player, just like Neifi Perez! Give me a new contract! [walks into the clubhouse and grabs a baseball bat] Ooh, I swing downwards, but nobody minds! [swings in an exaggeratedly slobbish fashion] Now I'm stepping to the plate without trying to get on base. But it doesn't matter, because I'm Neifi Perez! I don't need to get on base, 'cause someone else will do it for me. D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! [slaps forehead on each "D'oh!"]

 

Perez: Hey, you okay, Walky?

 

Walker: I'm better than okay. I'm Neifi Perez.

 

Perez: [chuckles] You wish.

 

Walker: [notices Hendry has walked in] Oh, hi, Mr. Hendry. I'm the worst hitter in the league given the amount of playing time I get. Time to go home to my mansion and eat my lobster. [walks up to some dangerous-looking pitching machines] What's this? [reads sign] "Danger: Wear Helmet." Well, I don't need a helmet, because I'm Neifi Pere-- [gets hit in the head by a baseball]

Classic.

 

http://www.thesimpsons.com.br/conteudo/informacao/personagens_mortos/personagens/frank_grimes.gif

[Magnetic Curses]

sure sounds like neifi thinks he'll be the starter.

 

i take consolation in this: hendry will be fired.

[CuseCubFan69]

sure sounds like neifi thinks he'll be the starter.

 

i take consolation in this: hendry will be fired.

 

Add Baker and I'm thrilled.

[Careless]

sure sounds like neifi thinks he'll be the starter.

 

i take consolation in this: hendry will be fired.

yep

[USSoccer]

sure sounds like neifi thinks he'll be the starter.

 

i take consolation in this: hendry will be fired.

 

 

Yeah, but how many years will it take to undo the damage that Baker and Hendry could do?

[CaliforniaRaisin]

sure sounds like neifi thinks he'll be the starter.

 

i take consolation in this: hendry will be fired.

 

I would hope. Just wait for the contract extensions.

[MeatampPotatoesMan]

sure sounds like neifi thinks he'll be the starter.

 

i take consolation in this: hendry will be fired.

 

I would hope. Just wait for the contract extensions.

 

you just couldn't let us enjoy a moment of delusional bliss, could you?

[Transmogrified Tiger]

I love the new Jon.

 

This thread needs some Neifury:

 

"Okay, Neifi, grab a bat."

"Sure thing, Skip."

 

I am Neifi Perez. I am going to break up this no-hitter. You know why? Because I'm a starter. Yes, a starter. I know it, the fans know it, and that pitcher knows it. He's thinking, 'What the hell? How can they have a weapon like this on the bench?' And I'm just laughing. 'Ha ha ha', say I. You shall feel my Neifury, and know that....

 

"Neifi? Neifi?"

"What? Where am I? Where's everyone going?"

"Game's over, Neifi."

"I thought I was going to bat?"

"You grounded out on the first pitch, you idiot."

"Oh. Right."

[Andy]

sure sounds like neifi thinks he'll be the starter.

 

i take consolation in this: hendry will be fired.

 

 

Yeah, but how many years will it take to undo the damage that Baker and Hendry could do?

And moreover, how many World Series could this team have reasonably competed for behind the Wood/Prior/Z/Lee/Ramirez core with a competent GM?

[CaliforniaRaisin]

I love the new Jon.

 

Definitely.

[CuseCubFan69]

sure sounds like neifi thinks he'll be the starter.

 

i take consolation in this: hendry will be fired.

 

 

Yeah, but how many years will it take to undo the damage that Baker and Hendry could do?

 

I don't think it would be that bad unless he signs a player like Damon to a huge multi year deal.

[Banedon]

Well I checked....FireJimHendry.com is taken.

[vance_the_cubs_fan]

Somehow I get the feeling Jon is busy working on some new photshops. I think today's events have inspired him.

 

BTW, I don't know if now would be a good time to line up a Q&A with Jim Hendry around here.

[CubfaninCA]

Will Eric Patterson be ready by the time Neifi's contract is up??

[Proven Veteran]

Somehow I get the feeling Jon is busy working on some new photshops. I think today's events have inspired him.

 

BTW, I don't know if now would be a good time to line up a Q&A with Jim Hendry around here.

 

Hey, I already made a brilliant photoshop. :(

[CuseCubFan69]

Somehow I get the feeling Jon is busy working on some new photshops. I think today's events have inspired him.

 

BTW, I don't know if now would be a good time to line up a Q&A with Jim Hendry around here.

 

Hey, I already made a brilliant photoshop. :(

 

How about Neifi's head on a Pez dispenser that dispenses cash?

[sonofsamiam]

Dunno if this has been posted here or not, but if so, it oughta get stated again:

 

From The Hardball Times

 

The only question for Perez is whether he gets enough playing time in 2006 to set the record for worst career RCAA or whether he has to wait until early 2007.

 

1 Ski Melillo -355

2 Tommy Thevenow -351

3 Neifi Perez -329

4 Bill Bergen -312

5 Tim Foli -309

6 Larry Bowa -307

7 Alfredo Griffin -306

T8 Don Kessinger -305

T8 Ozzie Guillen -305

10 Ed Brinkman -300

 

 

In 2005, Perez set the major league record for most consecutive years with -20 or worse RCAA--

 

1 Neifi Perez 1998-05 8

2 Doug Flynn 1977-83 7

T3 Bill Bergen 1901-06 6

T3 George McBride 1911-16 6

T3 Wally Gerber 1919-24 6

T3 Rabbit Warstler 1932-37 6

T3 Hal Lanier 1965-70 6

T8 Tommy Corcoran 1902-06 5

T8 Everett Scott 1920-24 5

T8 Frank O'Rourke 1926-30 5

T8 Rabbit Maranville 1929-33 5

T8 Ski Melillo 1932-36 5

T8 Ed Brinkman 1963-67 5

T8 Alfredo Griffin 1980-84 5

T8 Andres Thomas 1986-90 5

 

I'm glad he can catch the ball, but he's going to need to defend about 3 positions simultaneously at gold-glove caliber to make up for that type of "production".

[Balsa]

"I'm going to be there like last year," Perez said Tuesday. "It depends on what Dusty [baker, Cubs manager] and the general manager [Jim Hendry] want to do with me. I think I showed them I can play every day. I can't worry -- they have to decide who they're going to play at short, who they're going to play at second. I'm going to be there."

 

"When I came to Chicago, everything was different -- the manager, the organization. I was happy there, I was happy with my manager. I was happy with everybody. I think that makes a lot of difference."

 

Ugh, this is sickening. He's knows it too.

 

I really wanted it just to be Baker, but now I know that Hendry will have to go too next year. This is just....inexcusable.

Edited November 8, 2005 by Balsa