Chicago Bears Offseason Thread (the tank must payoff)

[Brian707]

According to Mike Florio, Bears almost certainly will not be on Hard Knocks this year. Obviously, we all know how the Bears have always balked at being the team on the show.

 

https://www.audacy.com/670thescore/sports/chicago-bears/florio-bears-almost-certainly-wont-be-on-hard-knocks

[Old Style]

Well well well…

[mul21]

Is it me or does Sanborn look like Sloth from Goonies?

 

 

[bukie]

Sadly, Sloth died of a cocaine overdose in 1989.

[muntjack]

And was also in the NFL.

[raw]

3 hours ago, bukie said:

Sadly, Sloth died of a cocaine overdose in 1989.

[UMFan83]

 

Fingers crossed

 

[Sammy Sofa]

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Chicago Bears | Defector

[WrigleyField 22]

12 minutes ago, Sammy Sofa said:

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Chicago Bears | Defector

This is pretty tame considering they're reigning worst team in the league and written by a Vikes fan.

[UMFan83]

1 hour ago, Sammy Sofa said:

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Chicago Bears | Defector

I guess the one benefit (outside of the 1st overall pick and waiver priority) to finishing with the worst overall record the previous season.

[Sammy Sofa]

2 minutes ago, UMFan83 said:

I guess the one benefit (outside of the 1st overall pick and waiver priority) to finishing with the worst overall record the previous season.

Quote

Every year when these come out, I'm always shocked by how many teams come before the Bears, and find myself thinking, "There's no way this many teams were worse than the lifeless dipshits I spent five months watching last year."

But finally, this feels right.

 

[Sammy Sofa]

Maybe one of the darkest fan confessions in the column's history:

Quote

It's been 11 years and I still think about Shea McClellin all the horsefeathers time.

 

[WrigleyField 22]

18 minutes ago, Sammy Sofa said:

Maybe one of the darkest fan confessions in the column's history:

 

r/relationship_advice:

My (40F) BF (42M) won't stop thinking about a previous fling of his named Shay from 11 years ago and it's straining our relationship.

[Sammy Sofa]

Actually, THIS might be even more brutal:

Quote

My dad would always recount the story of how the first thing he did with me after my birth was watch the Bears beat the Jaguars. Despite the years of mediocre football, I at least had that win to fall back on. Maybe the most fundamental connection to a sports team you could have. Who wouldn’t root for a team that they’ve watched since birth? Later, when I attended college in Wisconsin, I’d often recount that story to defend my fandom. All of this came to a head in September 2019, where the Bears, fresh off their best season in years, lost one of the worst NFL games ever. The jeers of my friends still fresh, I decided to find highlights of that Bears/Jaguars game, hoping that I could find some solace in watching a win that held so much meaning to me.

Except the Bears had actually lost that game.

 

[UMFan83]

12 minutes ago, Sammy Sofa said:

Actually, THIS might be even more brutal:

 

They must have been busy birthing that person while the Jags were scoring a TD with :29 left to beat the Bears by 1 point (assuming he was born in 1998 and not 2004 when they lost 22-3)