"Time makes fools of us all" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

[Bertz]

I'm generally the type to roll my eyes at best shape of his life stories, but considering Schwarber's biggest problem is range in the outfield stemming (mostly) from lack of speed, this might actually be meaningful.

[BigbadB]

I'm generally the type to roll my eyes at best shape of his life stories, but considering Schwarber's biggest problem is range in the outfield stemming (mostly) from lack of speed, this might actually be meaningful.

I prefer seeing this over sitting around playing video games and pounding nachos.

[Sammy Sofa]

Beating up food seems more like a Happ thing anyway.

[Banedon]

https://www.facebook.com/Cubs/videos/10155913880485659/

[javy knows my name]

What the horsefeathers he's tiny

[Transmogrified Tiger]

It's like he's in an old video game where they only have 4 different body types to choose from so he gets shoehorned into one that's obviously wrong.

[javy knows my name]

It's like he's in an old video game where they only have 4 different body types to choose from so he gets shoehorned into one that's obviously wrong.

 

hahahahahahah this is perfect

[Splendid Splinter]

What the horsefeathers he's tiny

 

It's all pure muscle baby.

[The_Achiever]

The picture from spring training last year is almost as startling. I don't remember him being *that* fat.

 

However, I imagine the buffet circuit is intense the year after you're the world series hero.

[JennieGarthAlgar]

Schwarber for ESPN body issue

[Proven Veteran]

His head is going to look huge on that tiny body.

[Bull]

His head is going to look huge on that tiny body.

solution: trade heads with rizzo.

[Proven Veteran]

His head is going to look huge on that tiny body.

solution: trade heads with rizzo.

Rizzo has a big head, just a tiny face.

 

I think we're looking at a head swap with seal boy.

[Bull]

His head is going to look huge on that tiny body.

solution: trade heads with rizzo.

Rizzo has a big head, just a tiny face.

 

I think we're looking at a head swap with seal boy.

Where’s B2B? There’s a three way deal here somewhere where Rizzos face on TLS head finds its way to Schwarber’s new body.

[Aaron_Kennelly]

[17 Seconds]

i want him to be good more than i've ever wanted a cub to be good

[Fro]

Runs like the Flash now

 

[tweet]

[/tweet]

 

[tweet]

[/tweet]

[imb]

standing next to pablo like old me new me

[Old Style]

I kinda like Schwarber a bit less now that he's all in shape and sexy. He's abandoned us fat guys for the beautiful people.

[Banedon]

https://www.mlb.com/cubs/news/kyle-schwarber-works-hard-on-outfield-defense/c-268125464

[Sammy Sofa]

He needs to work harder on his disgusting Baseball Chin.

[CubinNY]

I kinda like Schwarber a bit less now that he's all in shape and sexy. He's abandoned us fat guys for the beautiful people.

He'll always be beefy on the inside.

[imb]

i dunno if "not being fat" makes you a better hitter but schwarber really does look like a different human out there

[Regular Show]

i dunno if "not being fat" makes you a better hitter but schwarber really does look like a different human out there

 

You know what, I'll go ahead and stick my neck out and say it -- "not being fat" makes you a better hitter. There... I said it. Radical statement I know, but it needed to be said.

[Banedon]

https://streamable.com/rp9lt