8/12 Cardinals (Wainwright) @ Cubs (Arrieta) 1:20 CST ABC7

[Clem Fandango]

 

Not even a bunch of bad hitting with runners in scoring position can keep this team down. Carlos Martinez karate chopped the cooler lid off in anger and the Cubs walked off with a win on a Rizzo base on balls. Yay yaaaaayyyyy!

 

The Cardinals will be sending up the corpse of former perennial Cy Young candidate Adam Wainwright. Adam Wainwright's stats look like this:

 

                                                                         
W   L  ERA  G GS CG SHO    IP BB  SO ERA+  FIP  WHIP  H9 HR9 BB9 SO9 SO/W
9   6 4.34 23 23  1   1 143.0 37 112   93 3.33 1.322 9.6 0.6 2.3 7.0 3.03

 

Wainwright will bring his brand of "play the game the right way" justice when he'll try and plunk one of our guys in retaliation for Matt Holliday, but his fastball is only .2 mph faster than Kyle Hendricks' so we're all good.

 

The Cubs will be sending up the man, the myth, the sex machine: Jake Arrieta.

 

http://i.imgur.com/7AxbQOE.jpg?1

 

Gaze upon the adonis of major league baseball and feel his fury! His numbers look like this:

 

                                                                          
W    L  ERA  G GS CG SHO    IP BB  SO ERA+  FIP  WHIP  H9 HR9 BB9 SO9 SO/W
13   5 2.59 22 22  1   1 142.1 50 143  152 2.98 1.033 6.1 0.5 3.2 9.0 2.86

 

The Cardinals won't know whether to try and defeat him or try and marry him. It will be very Looney Toons-ish. Like Bugs Bunny dressed as a woman Looney Toons-ish, because the Cardinals are horsefeathering stupid.

 

Keep winning, Cubs.

[Hairyducked Idiot]

I love seeing the 10-0 in the L10 part of the standings.

[Sammy Sofa]

Careful; nude Jake seemed to be bad juju.

[UMFan83]

Lotta rain in the forecast all day and night

[weis21]

Lotta rain in the forecast all day and night

accuweather and weather.com are in disagreement. accuweather says the game window should be fine (and then some) but weather.com is going full-on Rondon Fan and pessimistic as hell with their forecast.

[Schwarber Fan]

Lotta rain in the forecast all day and night

accuweather and weather.com are in disagreement. accuweather says the game window should be fine (and then some) but weather.com is going full-on Rondon Fan and pessimistic as hell with their forecast.

 

It's still several hours before the game, but if the radar is accurate, no chance we play today.

[Omar]

Cardinals v. Arrieta

Name                PA  AB  H 2B 3B HR RBI BB SO   BA  OBP   SLG   OPS SH SF IBB HBP GDP missG
Jhonny Peralta      35  33  9  6  0  0   2  2  5 .273 .314  .455  .769  0  0   0   0         1
Kolten Wong         28  28  6  1  0  0   0  0  9 .214 .214  .250  .464  0  0   0   0         1
Matt Carpenter      27  21  1  0  0  0   0  6  5 .048 .259  .048  .307  0  0   0   0         0
Matt Holliday       23  20  2  0  0  0   0  3  7 .100 .217  .100  .317  0  0   0   0         0
Yadier Molina       23  21  3  0  0  0   0  1  7 .143 .217  .143  .360  0  0   0   1         0
Stephen Piscotty     9   7  1  0  0  0   2  2  2 .143 .333  .143  .476  0  0   0   0         0
Randal Grichuk       6   6  3  0  1  1   3  0  1 .500 .500 1.333 1.833  0  0   0   0         0
Brandon Moss         6   2  0  0  0  0   0  3  1 .000 .667  .000  .667  0  0   0   1         0
Tommy Pham           6   5  1  0  0  0   1  1  1 .200 .333  .200  .533  0  0   0   0         0
Greg Garcia          2   2  0  0  0  0   0  0  2 .000 .000  .000  .000  0  0   0   0         0
Jedd Gyorko          2   2  1  0  0  0   0  0  0 .500 .500  .500 1.000  0  0   0   0         0
Carlos Martinez      2   2  1  0  0  0   0  0  1 .500 .500  .500 1.000  0  0   0   0         0
Adam Wainwright      2   1  0  0  0  0   0  1  0 .000 .500  .000  .500  0  0   0   0         0
Total              171 150 28  7  1  1   8 19 41 .187 .287  .267  .553  0  0   0   2         2
Has not faced: Jeremy Hazelbaker and Alberto Rosario & Has not faced pitchers: Matthew Bowman, Jonathan Broxton, Zach Duke, Jaime Garcia, Mike Leake, Seth Maness, Seung-hwan Oh, Alexander Reyes, Kevin Siegrist and Jerome Williams

 

Cubs v. Wainwright

Name                 PA  AB  H 2B 3B HR RBI BB SO   BA  OBP  SLG   OPS SH SF IBB HBP GDP missG
Anthony Rizzo        40  37 11  1  0  1   5  2  5 .297 .325 .405  .730  0  1   0   0         3
Miguel Montero       27  25  7  0  0  1   2  2  7 .280 .333 .400  .733  0  0   0   0         1
Chris Coghlan        24  21  6  2  0  0   0  3  4 .286 .375 .381  .756  0  0   0   0         1
Dexter Fowler        22  21  3  1  0  1   1  1  6 .143 .182 .333  .515  0  0   0   0         0
Jason Heyward        19  18  4  1  0  1   3  1  3 .222 .263 .444  .708  0  0   0   0         0
David Ross           19  18  6  3  0  1   4  1  6 .333 .368 .667 1.035  0  0   0   0         0
Ben Zobrist          12  11  3  1  0  0   0  1  3 .273 .333 .364  .697  0  0   0   0         0
Jorge Soler          10   9  1  0  0  1   2  0  4 .111 .200 .444  .644  0  0   0   1         0
Travis Wood          10   9  2  0  0  1   1  0  3 .222 .222 .556  .778  1  0   0   0         0
Javier Baez           8   8  2  0  0  0   0  0  2 .250 .250 .250  .500  0  0   0   0         0
Kris Bryant           8   7  0  0  0  0   0  1  0 .000 .125 .000  .125  0  0   0   0         0
Addison Russell       6   6  3  1  0  0   1  0  1 .500 .500 .667 1.167  0  0   0   0         0
Jon Lester            4   4  0  0  0  0   0  0  2 .000 .000 .000  .000  0  0   0   0         0
Willson Contreras     3   2  1  0  0  0   0  1  0 .500 .667 .500 1.167  0  0   0   0         1
John Lackey           3   3  0  0  0  0   0  0  2 .000 .000 .000  .000  0  0   0   0         0
Jake Arrieta          2   2  1  0  0  0   0  0  0 .500 .500 .500 1.000  0  0   0   0         0
Jason Hammel          2   2  0  0  0  0   0  0  2 .000 .000 .000  .000  0  0   0   0         0
Kyle Hendricks        2   2  0  0  0  0   0  0  1 .000 .000 .000  .000  0  0   0   0         0
Total               221 205 50 10  0  7  19 13 51 .244 .291 .395  .686  1  1   0   1         6
Has not faced: Matt Szczur & Has not faced pitchers: Aroldis Chapman, Carl Edwards, Justin Grimm, Mike Montgomery, Hector Rondon and Joe Smith

[Omar]

[badger]

Maddon dice strike again. But basically horsefeathers you Cards because it doesn't matter what we put out there.

[Derwood]

Yeah, pretty sure we haven't seen this one yet. Contreras/Szczur/Soler outfield? Oooookay

[Andy]

Szczur leadoff against a RHP is weird but I really don't care. Just make sure everyone knows to recoil at any inside pitch.

[Tim]

So, all the FA's from the offseason get the day off - Zobrist, Heyward and Dex.

[Liam Neeson]

Need everyone to walk up to the plate looking like Pillow Man

 

http://i.imgur.com/DUUMk.jpg

[Cubswin11]

Does Wainwright have some crazy reverse splits or something?

[Tim]

Does Wainwright have some crazy reverse splits or something?

Not really. Kind of a mixed bag.

[UMFan83]

So, all the FA's from the offseason get the day off - Zobrist, Heyward and Dex.

 

Lackey and Cahill should have the day off as well

[Banedon]

Joe's probably like "I'll just throw out whatever lineup cuz we're getting rained out anyway."

[Omar]

 

Just when you thought this line-up couldn't be more garbage...

[Cubswin11]

FWIW

 

[tweet]

[/tweet]

[shnsajax]

Wonder if Wainwright has the balls to throw at Soler.

[Sammy Sofa]

Speaking of Soler, who the horsefeathers massacred his hair like that? It's basically a war crime.

[TruffleShuffle]

So what's the consensus on who they will throw at today? Because you know it's coming.

[UMFan83]

FWIW

 

 

That's a horsefeathering terrible plan with Jake starting. BTW Cahill has been spotted in the Cubs clubhouse today, I wonder if the Cubs are considering starting him today and moving everyone up a spot. They are going to have to use a 6th starter at some point between now and next Tuesday's DH

[Cubswin11]

So what's the consensus on who they will throw at today? Because you know it's coming.

Bryant, Arrieta or Rizzo. Hopefully they just hit Szczur to start the game and get it over with

Edited August 12, 2016 by Cubswin11

[Cubswin11]

FWIW

 

 

That's a [expletive] terrible plan with Jake starting. BTW Cahill has been spotted in the Cubs clubhouse today, I wonder if the Cubs are considering starting him today and moving everyone up a spot. They are going to have to use a 6th starter at some point between now and next Tuesday's DH

No he's starting a game Tuesday. Iowa is on a road trip so they had him come to Chicago early to do his work here and travel less.