Call your shot - Hitters

[NOLA]

-Soriano will lower his K's and lead the team in doubles through May. Baseball Tonight mentions him as Comeback Player of the Year.

-LaHair puts up a pretty decent 1st half, Rizzo tears apart AAA and gets called up, knucklehead Cubs fans get pissed.

-The newest player to catch the wrath of drunk Cubs fan is Marlon Byrd, who really struggles as the drum beat grows for Brett Jackson.

-Castro hits 3rd and finishes with 20 home runs.

-The defense is atrociously bad.

-Smallball and ducktape keep the team competitive through May, the Cubs fall 10 games back by the end of June.

[Rob]

Jae Hoon Ha will be an injury replacement for Soriano/DeJesus at some point in the second half, with Sappelt and Campana not getting a real shot. He'll perform surprisingly well. He will be the prime candidate to replace Soriano next offseason.

 

Welington Castillo is the starting C by the end of the season. (Or at least has the board outraged he isn't) [justification: if Soto is doing great, the Cubs will try to trade him]

 

LaHair does just well enough at 1B to justify not forcing Rizzo up early. When Rizzo does come up, LaHair gets a quick audition in an OF corner, only to embarrass himself.

[dew1679666265]

Soriano has a year similar to 2007 and Theo/Jed cashes in on that in the offseason, getting far more than any of us expected for him.

[NOLA]

Jae Hoon Ha will be an injury replacement for Soriano/DeJesus at some point in the second half, with Sappelt and Campana not getting a real shot. He'll perform surprisingly well. He will be the prime candidate to replace Soriano next offseason.

 

...and racist merchandise sales around Wrigley will skyrocket.

[PriortoTheoIhadWood]

A Ha plug? Nice.

[A New Era]

Jae Hoon Ha will be an injury replacement for Soriano/DeJesus at some point in the second half, with Sappelt and Campana not getting a real shot. He'll perform surprisingly well. He will be the prime candidate to replace Soriano next offseason.

 

...and racist merchandise sales around Wrigley will skyrocket.

 

I got my mortal kombat raiden hat ready.

[davell]

Soto is bad, dealt for low return in June. Castillo is iffy, Clevenger looks the best of a bad group. Question mark heading into 2013. LaHair's decent, .800ish OPS, Rizzo is solid after August callup, hitting 12 homers. Barney and Cardenas are less than inspiring. Castro hits 18 homers, better defensively, but batting average drops to .280. Stewart has better season than Aramis, puts up 3 WAR. Soriano is solid, dealt at deadline, where we eat 32 of 42 mill. Byrd is dealt to Braves for JT Graham before season begins. Campana/Sappelt platoon works decently, til Brett comes up. Immediate fan favorite, looks like future All Star. DeJesus puts up Fukudome type numbers. Team winds up with 83 wins.

[Little Slide Rooter]

Soriano has a year similar to 2007 and Theo/Jed cashes in on that in the offseason, getting far more than any of us expected for him.

 

Any 36 year old is going to be a tough sell even if they're not making 18 mil/year. However, if we pick up 100% of his remaining salary, we might be able to rake in someone like a Brian Marusz, Zach Britton, Wade Davis, or Brett Cecil but even then we could end up tossing in something else.

[Sammy Sofa]

Tyler Colvin will not hit 20 home runs.

[bhogg]

I'll play. . .

 

 

LaHair hits 35 (or more) homers, causing him to become a cheap OF / 1B option for the next few years. . . . . Soriano gets cut in July. Rizzo takes over 1B. Lahair becomes the LFer.

[KingCubsFan]

Soriano has a year similar to 2007 and Theo/Jed cashes in on that in the offseason, getting far more than any of us expected for him.

 

Any 36 year old is going to be a tough sell even if they're not making 18 mil/year. However, if we pick up 100% of his remaining salary, we might be able to rake in someone like a Brian Marusz, Zach Britton, Wade Davis, or Brett Cecil but even then we could end up tossing in something else.

Did Matusz and Britton have their left arms amputated?

[Guest]

Soto continues to alternate good years with subpar years and has a season similar to 2008 and 2010.

 

LaHair plays fairly well and TT says one good thing about him at some point in the season.

[LeftCoastCubFan]

Soriano channels his inner Andre Dawson and hears chants of "MVP! MVP!" in April

[Derwood]

Soriano threatens to break the all-time strikeout record, but Sveum sits him down the stretch to save him the embarrassment

[Little Slide Rooter]

Soriano channels his inner Andre Dawson and hears chants of "MVP! MVP!" in April

 

Do they give him enough meds to make it stop?

[Rob]

Soriano threatens to break the all-time strikeout record, but Sveum sits him down the stretch to save him the embarrassment

 

That's an extraordinarily bold prediction.

 

If you really mean "all-time" he'd have to strike out 1174 times this year to tie the record. (Incidentally, he's struck out exactly 587 times during his five years with the Cubs, which is exactly half of 1174)

 

If you mean single season... (the record is 223, by the way)

 

During his Cubs career, Soriano has struck out 21.8% of the time. At that pace, he'd have to have come to the plate 1030 times to break the record. At last year's accelerated pace of 22.4%, he'd only need 1007 plate appearances.

[chopsx9]

Ooh I'l play.

 

Vitters tears it up in ST resulting in speculation the he should be starting 3B with the big club.

 

Same with Rebel Ridling and 1B.

 

(I'm covering my bases)

 

((See what I did there - actually I didn't till I wrote it))

[davell]

Soriano strikes out his first 400 plate appearances and doesn't miss a single inning. He continues smiling throughout it all. Selig institutes a new "slumpbuster" rule mid season that allows Sveum to bat Soriano leadoff every inning. Still without contact or rest, we're playing the last game of the season with a win putting us in the playoffs. Bottom of the 9th, bases loaded, no outs, Sori up to bat after we've miraculously batted around. Down a run. Contact! As Soriano hits into a game and season ending triple play, because he posed after hitting a grounder to 3rd. And then he smiled again, happy to be out of his slump.

[SouthSideRyan]

Booooooooooooooo

[Sammy Sofa]

Oh, that jerk and his dastardly smiling.

[ConstableRabbit]

Jae Hoon Ha will be an injury replacement for Soriano/DeJesus at some point in the second half, with Sappelt and Campana not getting a real shot. He'll perform surprisingly well. He will be the prime candidate to replace Soriano next offseason.

 

...and racist merchandise sales around Wrigley will skyrocket.

Ha.

[Little Slide Rooter]

Soriano strikes out his first 400 plate appearances and doesn't miss a single inning. He continues smiling throughout it all. Selig institutes a new "slumpbuster" rule mid season that allows Sveum to bat Soriano leadoff every inning. Still without contact or rest, we're playing the last game of the season with a win putting us in the playoffs. Bottom of the 9th, bases loaded, no outs, Sori up to bat after we've miraculously batted around. Down a run. Contact! As Soriano hits into a game and season ending triple play, because he posed after hitting a grounder to 3rd. And then he smiled again, happy to be out of his slump.

 

You forgot the part where he rolls around in a pit of unearned money.

[Hairyducked Idiot]

Soriano strikes out his first 400 plate appearances and doesn't miss a single inning. He continues smiling throughout it all. Selig institutes a new "slumpbuster" rule mid season that allows Sveum to bat Soriano leadoff every inning. Still without contact or rest, we're playing the last game of the season with a win putting us in the playoffs. Bottom of the 9th, bases loaded, no outs, Sori up to bat after we've miraculously batted around. Down a run. Contact! As Soriano hits into a game and season ending triple play, because he posed after hitting a grounder to 3rd. And then he smiled again, happy to be out of his slump.

 

You forgot the part where he rolls around in a pit of unearned money.

 

He also sits down in left field, refusing to field any balls that aren't hit directly to him.

[SchruteFarms]

Darwin Barney will have an OBP greater than .350

[Cubswin11]

Darwin Barney will have an OBP greater than .350

/end thread