The Drastic Measure

[Moises a loo]

The premise here is that the Chicago Cubs are the best team in the National League. But they're not playing like it because of the insane amount of pressure. If you're Lou Piniella, how can that pressure be relieved? Here's my stupid idea; feel free to post yours:

 

Step One: Announce Jason Marquis as the starting pitcher for game three.

 

Step Two: When asked why in the hell you would start Marquis, reply that there's no point in risking an injury to Mr. Softee (yes, actually refer to Rich Harden as "Mr. Softee") when you may need him next year.

 

Step Three: Openly concede the series. Say out loud what everyone is thinking: it's over. Say the Dodgers are clearly superior. Say Manny is a baseball god. Say your team is a very good team that had a very good season and they should all be proud of themselves, but it's obviously not their year; they just ran into a better team.

 

Step Four: Say before the game everything everyone knows you'll be saying after the game. Tip your cap to Derek Lowe. Tip your cap to Chad Billingsley. Pull out a Cubs cap with a japanese logo on it and say that you're prepared to tip it to Kuroda.

 

Step Five: Finally, make it clear that this is basically an exhibition game. You'll be starting your bench players, because they've had a great year and they each deserve a start. Especially Fontenot and Johnson.

 

That's it. In short, Lou, resigning yourself to losing this game may be the only way to win it. Telling your players not to feel the pressure of "a hundred years of losing" isn't cutting it. Remove that pressure. Risk looking like the worst manager in the world. If it works, even for one game, you'll be seen as a subversive genius. If they win one game, you continue the charade until it's so obvious what you're doing it becomes a fun game you're playing with the media, and everyone is loose.

 

When was the only time Lou Piniella won a WS as a manager? The 1990 Reds, who were serious underdogs to the mighty Oakland A's, who they swept. The Cubs, once favorites, now need to embrace the underdogs they've become. They have a day and a half. Go.

 

 

PS: Make sure Harden knows he'll be in there by the third inning. Duh.

[SouthSideRyan]

Ths sounds like the worst idea ever.

[C.C.]

I stopped reading after step 2.

[Moises a loo]

Ths sounds like the worst idea ever.

Because what they're doing is working so well. This team is better than this, and we all know it. The trick is how to get them to show it now, when it counts. And at least some of that falls on the manager, who apparently has no clue what to do right now.

[Tyrant]

Ths sounds like the worst idea ever.

Because what they're doing is working so well.

 

My annual salary is in the low $40k range. I really wish I made six figures and could afford a nicer car, and maybe buy a house sometime soon.

 

Clearly, what I am doing has not been working. So it's time to try something new. Something wacky. Today, in my afternoon meeting, I am going to punch my boss in the throat and take a dump on the overhead projector. I will then hurtle my body down a flight of stairs while singing the chorus to "Shiny, Happy People" by REM. Once I hit the bottom, I will spring up and shout "TA DA!" and spread my arms wide in triumph.

 

Maybe then my fortunes will turn.

[IowaCubsFan]

Or, Lou could just tell his team not to be a bunch of vaginas out there, and to man up and start playing like these games mean something.

[UMFan83]

Ths sounds like the worst idea ever.

Because what they're doing is working so well.

 

My annual salary is in the low $40k range. I really wish I made six figures and could afford a nicer car, and maybe buy a house sometime soon.

 

Clearly, what I am doing has not been working. So it's time to try something new. Something wacky. Today, in my afternoon meeting, I am going to punch my boss in the throat and take a dump on the overhead projector. I will then hurtle my body down a flight of stairs while singing the chorus to "Shiny, Happy People" by REM. Once I hit the bottom, I will spring up and shout "TA DA!" and spread my arms wide in triumph.

 

Maybe then my fortunes will turn.

 

I love laughing.

[Moises a loo]

Ths sounds like the worst idea ever.

Because what they're doing is working so well.

 

My annual salary is in the low $40k range. I really wish I made six figures and could afford a nicer car, and maybe buy a house sometime soon.

 

Clearly, what I am doing has not been working. So it's time to try something new. Something wacky. Today, in my afternoon meeting, I am going to punch my boss in the throat and take a dump on the overhead projector. I will then hurtle my body down a flight of stairs while singing the chorus to "Shiny, Happy People" by REM. Once I hit the bottom, I will spring up and shout "TA DA!" and spread my arms wide in triumph.

 

Maybe then my fortunes will turn.

 

If you knew you were about to lose your job anyway, those might be perfectly reasonable things to do. The point is, they have nothing to lose at this point so they may as well start acting like it.

[UMFan83]

Ths sounds like the worst idea ever.

Because what they're doing is working so well.

 

My annual salary is in the low $40k range. I really wish I made six figures and could afford a nicer car, and maybe buy a house sometime soon.

 

Clearly, what I am doing has not been working. So it's time to try something new. Something wacky. Today, in my afternoon meeting, I am going to punch my boss in the throat and take a dump on the overhead projector. I will then hurtle my body down a flight of stairs while singing the chorus to "Shiny, Happy People" by REM. Once I hit the bottom, I will spring up and shout "TA DA!" and spread my arms wide in triumph.

 

Maybe then my fortunes will turn.

 

If you knew you were about to lose your job anyway, those might be perfectly reasonable things to do. The point is, they have nothing to lose at this point so they may as well start acting like it.

 

I don't think there's ever an appropriate time to take a crap on the projector. Maybe if you won the lotto and didn't ever need to work again and you wanted to leave your mark on the company.

[Soul]

Drastic measure indeed. Wouldn't help anything, but it would be drastic.

[UMFan83]

Drastic measure indeed. Wouldn't help anything, but it would be drastic.

 

It would at least be entertaining. Just another Cubbie Occurance

[manbearcub]

its so crazy that it just...might...work!

[ZiggyTaxi]

The job analogy was a pretty bad one.

 

Since when has trying something new and completely different been a bad idea?

 

If we do what we did in Games 1 and 2, we aren't going to win this series.

 

I still don't think we will win this series, so I'd love for this all to happen. It would make it at least entertaining to watch.

[SouthSideRyan]

The job analogy was a pretty bad one.

 

Since when has trying something new and completely different been a bad idea?

 

If we do what we did in Games 1 and 2, we aren't going to win this series.

 

I still don't think we will win this series, so I'd love for this all to happen. It would make it at least entertaining to watch.

 

Since when has trying something new and completely different been a bad idea?

 

Doing something nonsensical because it's different is a bad idea. Starting your 5th best starter in an elimination game is nonsensical.

 

Calling your best pitcher Mr. softee because he's had injury problems is nonsensical. Yeah take that Mr. Softee, now go out there and throw 150 pitches, and enjoy next year off!

 

Starting Reed Johnson vs. a righty even though he's proven he can't hit them is nonsensical.

 

The OP's plan is taking a dump on the projector.

[Moises a loo]

The job analogy was a pretty bad one.

 

Since when has trying something new and completely different been a bad idea?

 

If we do what we did in Games 1 and 2, we aren't going to win this series.

 

I still don't think we will win this series, so I'd love for this all to happen. It would make it at least entertaining to watch.

 

Since when has trying something new and completely different been a bad idea?

 

Doing something nonsensical because it's different is a bad idea. Starting your 5th best starter in an elimination game is nonsensical.

 

Calling your best pitcher Mr. softee because he's had injury problems is nonsensical. Yeah take that Mr. Softee, now go out there and throw 150 pitches, and enjoy next year off!

 

Starting Reed Johnson vs. a righty even though he's proven he can't hit them is nonsensical.

 

The OP's plan is taking a dump on the projector.

 

The plan is a little outrageous, I'll admit that. I'm emotional like a lot of people right now. But the principle -- that it's up to the manager to find a way to take pressure off his team -- is solid. Maybe someone else has a realistic idea of how it could be done? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

[UMFan83]

The job analogy was a pretty bad one.

 

Since when has trying something new and completely different been a bad idea?

 

If we do what we did in Games 1 and 2, we aren't going to win this series.

 

I still don't think we will win this series, so I'd love for this all to happen. It would make it at least entertaining to watch.

 

Since when has trying something new and completely different been a bad idea?

 

Doing something nonsensical because it's different is a bad idea. Starting your 5th best starter in an elimination game is nonsensical.

 

Calling your best pitcher Mr. softee because he's had injury problems is nonsensical. Yeah take that Mr. Softee, now go out there and throw 150 pitches, and enjoy next year off!

 

Starting Reed Johnson vs. a righty even though he's proven he can't hit them is nonsensical.

 

The OP's plan is taking a dump on the projector.

 

Reed Johnson vs. RHP: .280 .323 .398 .721

Kosuke Fukudome vs. RHP: .251 .355 .388 .742

 

It's really not a huge difference when you take into account Kosuke's numbers are weighted by his April.

[UMFan83]

The job analogy was a pretty bad one.

 

Since when has trying something new and completely different been a bad idea?

 

If we do what we did in Games 1 and 2, we aren't going to win this series.

 

I still don't think we will win this series, so I'd love for this all to happen. It would make it at least entertaining to watch.

 

Since when has trying something new and completely different been a bad idea?

 

Doing something nonsensical because it's different is a bad idea. Starting your 5th best starter in an elimination game is nonsensical.

 

Calling your best pitcher Mr. softee because he's had injury problems is nonsensical. Yeah take that Mr. Softee, now go out there and throw 150 pitches, and enjoy next year off!

 

Starting Reed Johnson vs. a righty even though he's proven he can't hit them is nonsensical.

 

The OP's plan is taking a dump on the projector.

 

The plan is a little outrageous, I'll admit that. I'm emotional like a lot of people right now. But the principle -- that it's up to the manager to find a way to take pressure off his team -- is solid. Maybe someone else has a realistic idea of how it could be done? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

 

You're basically suggesting that Lou steals a page from Ozzie's book for the most part.

[SouthSideRyan]

The job analogy was a pretty bad one.

 

Since when has trying something new and completely different been a bad idea?

 

If we do what we did in Games 1 and 2, we aren't going to win this series.

 

I still don't think we will win this series, so I'd love for this all to happen. It would make it at least entertaining to watch.

 

Since when has trying something new and completely different been a bad idea?

 

Doing something nonsensical because it's different is a bad idea. Starting your 5th best starter in an elimination game is nonsensical.

 

Calling your best pitcher Mr. softee because he's had injury problems is nonsensical. Yeah take that Mr. Softee, now go out there and throw 150 pitches, and enjoy next year off!

 

Starting Reed Johnson vs. a righty even though he's proven he can't hit them is nonsensical.

 

The OP's plan is taking a dump on the projector.

 

Reed Johnson vs. RHP: .280 .323 .398 .721

Kosuke Fukudome vs. RHP: .251 .355 .388 .742

 

It's really not a huge difference when you take into account Kosuke's numbers are weighted by his April.

 

That's assuming Reed is starting in Kosuke's spot. How bout Blanco starting then.

[Moises a loo]

 

You're basically suggesting that Lou steals a page from Ozzie's book for the most part.

Ozzie? You mean the guy with WS ring? Yes. That's exactly what I'm suggesting.

[Garwilly]

 

You're basically suggesting that Lou steals a page from Ozzie's book for the most part.

Ozzie? You mean the guy with WS ring? Yes. That's exactly what I'm suggesting.

 

 

Lou has a ring, player and manager.

[Moises a loo]

 

You're basically suggesting that Lou steals a page from Ozzie's book for the most part.

Ozzie? You mean the guy with WS ring? Yes. That's exactly what I'm suggesting.

 

 

Lou has a ring, player and manager.

 

Holy crap you're right. Never mind, he's doing great, all is well. He just doesn't have his horses, dude.

[WrigleyField 22]

The premise of Lou conceding the series is an interesting one. Could play mind tricks on LA a bit. Tell them how great they are, etc, maybe you catch them looking past us and believing it.

[rynefan]

How about just get back to fundamentals.. try that.... like making a play in the infield.

[Wilson A2000]

The premise of Lou conceding the series is an interesting one. Could play mind tricks on LA a bit. Tell them how great they are, etc, maybe you catch them looking past us and believing it.

 

Or the Dodgers will continue to clean the Cubs' clock. There would be a run to the bat rack. Harden deserves this start and not to give it to him is a fireable offense.

[gflore34]

The premise of Lou conceding the series is an interesting one. Could play mind tricks on LA a bit. Tell them how great they are, etc, maybe you catch them looking past us and believing it.

 

Or the Dodgers will continue to clean the Cubs' clock. There would be a run to the bat rack. Harden deserves this start and not to give it to him is a fireable offense.

 

 

The Dodgers haven't cleaned anyone' clock, I refuse to give them credit beyond not playing as poorly as the Cubs. All they've done is be the beneficiaries of some bad Cub Baseball, nothing more.