Living with a significant other

[TruffleShuffle]

Nowadays, you almost have to live with someone in order to make sure it's gonna work out.

 

I definitely disagree with this, considering that the people who don't do it are more likely to work out.

 

There's a difference between being married and being happily married. 25 years of marriage doesn't mean much if you're miserable and the only reason you're still together is because your religion frowns upon divorce. Guess it depends on your definition of "working out."

 

I think that the vast majority of people who don't want to be together, aren't together. I'm aware the there are exceptions, but I don't know many Catholic couples who stayed together just because the Catholic church frowns upon marriage. You only get one life; most people don't want to live theirs in misery.

[Butterscup1679666578]

I've lived with my girlfriend for about 4-5 months now and it has worked out greatly. Of course, we live with two other people (two of our friends, another couple). I'm not sure if I would live just me and my girlfriend yet since we've only been dating about a year and a half, but who knows.

[Slugger_16]

Nowadays, you almost have to live with someone in order to make sure it's gonna work out.

 

I definitely disagree with this, considering that the people who don't do it are more likely to work out.

 

There's a difference between being married and being happily married. 25 years of marriage doesn't mean much if you're miserable and the only reason you're still together is because your religion frowns upon divorce. Guess it depends on your definition of "working out."

 

I think that the vast majority of people who don't want to be together, aren't together. I'm aware the there are exceptions, but I don't know many Catholic couples who stayed together just because the Catholic church frowns upon marriage. You only get one life; most people don't want to live theirs in misery.

 

Divorce is more common today, so I think there are a lot of people that do divorce when they aren't happy. But how many Catholic couples are going to let everyone know that they hate their marriage? I think you'd be surprised at how many couples aren't as happy as they like to make everyone think. Public and private personas can be very different, and I don't think you can really tell much just by looking at the family and the way they conduct themselves in public.

[USSoccer]

My wife and I have known each other for 6 years, and for about 4 of those years we have lived together.

 

I think that it's helped enormously with a lot of things, in terms of like a test drive, but there were times when we both could have benefitted from having seperate spaces to go to if one was pissed at the other.

 

I don't think cohabitation has anything to do with divorce rates. Socio-economic factors and psychological history are probably the two biggest ones.

[mhuber92211]

I lived with my wife while dating, then engaged and now as man & wife. Making the decision to move in together sent my mother to therapy and she nearly committed suicide and our relationship has (obviously) been very different since.

 

It is still a big decision no matter your faith. You are making a decision that will change your lifesytle dramatically. For some its easy and others its harder and that is why they want to test the waters first so to speak.

 

For me it was purely a financial decision. Logically it didn't make sense for each of us to spend 55% of our income on 1 bedroom apartments (Los Angeles area at the time) and then end up not using one of the places that often because we would be spending the night at each other's place.

 

It has strained my family relationships to the point where it hurt my wife's image with the entire family. Now she battles this everytime we all get together. Rather them seeing the great person she is, they see a sinner who corrupted me. I know it has been hard for her but ultimately, it was the right decision or 4 years later we still wouldn't have been married because we couldn't afford the wedding.

[vance_the_cubs_fan]

I've lived with my girlfriend for about 4-5 months now and it has worked out greatly. Of course, we live with two other people (two of our friends, another couple). I'm not sure if I would live just me and my girlfriend yet since we've only been dating about a year and a half, but who knows.

 

Swingers, huh?

[Butterscup1679666578]

I've lived with my girlfriend for about 4-5 months now and it has worked out greatly. Of course, we live with two other people (two of our friends, another couple). I'm not sure if I would live just me and my girlfriend yet since we've only been dating about a year and a half, but who knows.

 

Swingers, huh?

 

Yeah it's pretty awesome. ;)

[E.J.]

I've been living with my fiance for about 4 years now. I think it's important to live with the significant other before you get married just so you know what you're getting yourself into.

[BigbadB]

I lived with my wife while dating, then engaged and now as man & wife. Making the decision to move in together sent my mother to therapy and she nearly committed suicide and our relationship has (obviously) been very different since.

 

It is still a big decision no matter your faith. You are making a decision that will change your lifesytle dramatically. For some its easy and others its harder and that is why they want to test the waters first so to speak.

 

For me it was purely a financial decision. Logically it didn't make sense for each of us to spend 55% of our income on 1 bedroom apartments (Los Angeles area at the time) and then end up not using one of the places that often because we would be spending the night at each other's place.

 

It has strained my family relationships to the point where it hurt my wife's image with the entire family. Now she battles this everytime we all get together. Rather them seeing the great person she is, they see a sinner who corrupted me. I know it has been hard for her but ultimately, it was the right decision or 4 years later we still wouldn't have been married because we couldn't afford the wedding.

 

Wow. That's horrible.

 

My first marriage we did not live together first. Obviously, we divorced. My second marriage, we did live together first. That ended in divorce. My third marriage we lived together for 6 years first and have now been married for 4 years. Why 6 years? I wasn't sure I ever wanted to marry again considering how the first two worked out. But, 6 years proved that I finally met the right girl. The first two relationships never lasted 6 years, living together and/or married.

[mhuber92211]

sometimes it just takes time to find the right one. I am sure that you are glad that you tried again! I am not sure if I could have after all that.

[soccer10k]

My first marriage we did not live together first. Obviously, we divorced. My second marriage...My third marriage

 

Well, it's either that or you're a Mormon. :wink:

[BigbadB]

sometimes it just takes time to find the right one. I am sure that you are glad that you tried again! I am not sure if I could have after all that.

 

Not only does it sometimes take time to find the right one, but sometimes people marry too young. In my case, it was a combination of both.

[Careless]

Dated my wife for 6.5 years before getting married. Lived together for a lot of that. It was interesting to see how agitated my father got (I think he actually used the phrase "living in sin" once). He kept offering suggestions as to places/times we should elope.

 

Oh, we didn't live together until we had been dating for over a year.

[Mizzou]

I've lived with my girlfriend for a few months now and it's great. I don't see any problem with people living together before getting married.

[sandberg23]

My first marriage we did not live together first. Obviously, we divorced. My second marriage...My third marriage

 

Well, it's either that or you're a Mormon. :wink:

 

Or she passed away.

[Derwood]

that stat seems misleading. i would recommend for anyone to live with their SO before marrying because, as someone else said, you really don't know everything about them until you live with them. i would think you'd have more problems with newly weds moving in together for the first time and suddenly discovering lots of little things about each other they never knew?

 

also, how many people get engaged, move in together, and break it off before marrying? how does that affect the stats?

[biittner77]

I wonder if the link between pre marital cohab and divorce has anything to do with one party pressuring the other to take the relationship to the next level.

 

I think if you really love someone you can get past any of their annoying habits that you didn't know about until you lived together.

 

I'd also bet that divorce is more a result of getting married too young, or for the wrong reasons or because you were naive enough to think that your wife would still want to have sex after 10 years of marriage, etc.

[Derwood]

I wonder if the link between pre marital cohab and divorce has anything to do with one party pressuring the other to take the relationship to the next level.

 

I think if you really love someone you can get past any of their annoying habits that you didn't know about until you lived together.

 

I'd also bet that divorce is more a result of getting married too young, or for the wrong reasons or because you were naive enough to think that your wife would still want to have sex after 10 years of marriage, etc.

 

I:

 

a) lived with my wife before marrying (but engaged)

b) married young (22)

c) am still married

[hardcorecubfan]

I just hope my wife doesn't find out

[Banedon]

My wife and I have been married for 3 years. We were engaged for a year. We lived together for 2-3 years before that. Not a ton of surprises when we got married.

[aerosmith21]

My fiance (g/f up until March) and I have been living together for a little more than 2 years and I can't imagine it any other way. I've gotten to see firsthand what's in store for me. I've lived with previous g/fs and it's always been a good way for me to determine whether this person would make a good life partner, regardless of the monetary and religious implications (not at issue in our situation as we both have financial resources and have a belief in God).

 

I kind of look at it like this: How many people buy a car without driving it?[/quote]

 

Is that your fiance your referring to??? Sorry man no offense just saw the opportunity to take advantage of it

[aerosmith21]

I lived with my girlfriend for bout 6 months while she was actually still legally married and she is BAPTIST..........talk bout a sinner huh??? That was the only girl that I have lived with and it was the worst thing ever. Ya she cheated on her husband with me........but she gave me the whole "Im leaving my husband speech" So I fell for it.........how I regret that decision. The hardest part about us living together was the fact that she was still legally married and it was hard for us to move on with our lives. Especially with the fact that her parents never knew bout us for the 2 years that we were together being that it was totally against the baptist religion. Mind you her parents are very heavy into the whole baptist religion..........nothing against the religion but I will never date a baptist again. So as the whole thing ended when were living together I caught her in bed with another married man. So it will take me alot of getting to know her and prolly a few years before I move in with another girl after my experience with women.

[fiver]

I lived with my girlfriend for bout 6 months while she was actually still legally married and she is BAPTIST..........talk bout a sinner huh??? That was the only girl that I have lived with and it was the worst thing ever. Ya she cheated on her husband with me........but she gave me the whole "Im leaving my husband speech" So I fell for it.........how I regret that decision. The hardest part about us living together was the fact that she was still legally married and it was hard for us to move on with our lives. Especially with the fact that her parents never knew bout us for the 2 years that we were together being that it was totally against the baptist religion. Mind you her parents are very heavy into the whole baptist religion..........nothing against the religion but I will never date a baptist again. So as the whole thing ended when were living together I caught her in bed with another married man. So it will take me alot of getting to know her and prolly a few years before I move in with another girl after my experience with women.

 

rule of thumb: if woman is willing to cheat on her husband with you, then she will be willing to cheat on you with another man.

[Banedon]

I lived with my girlfriend for bout 6 months while she was actually still legally married and she is BAPTIST..........talk bout a sinner huh??? That was the only girl that I have lived with and it was the worst thing ever. Ya she cheated on her husband with me........but she gave me the whole "Im leaving my husband speech" So I fell for it.........how I regret that decision. The hardest part about us living together was the fact that she was still legally married and it was hard for us to move on with our lives. Especially with the fact that her parents never knew bout us for the 2 years that we were together being that it was totally against the baptist religion. Mind you her parents are very heavy into the whole baptist religion..........nothing against the religion but I will never date a baptist again. So as the whole thing ended when were living together I caught her in bed with another married man. So it will take me alot of getting to know her and prolly a few years before I move in with another girl after my experience with women.

 

rule of thumb: if woman is willing to cheat on her husband with you, then she will be willing to cheat on you with another man.

 

Agreed 100%. I'm sorry you got hurt aerosmith...but if you don't start the relationship off in a healthy manner, there's little chance it will end up healthy.

[aerosmith21]

I lived with my girlfriend for bout 6 months while she was actually still legally married and she is BAPTIST..........talk bout a sinner huh??? That was the only girl that I have lived with and it was the worst thing ever. Ya she cheated on her husband with me........but she gave me the whole "Im leaving my husband speech" So I fell for it.........how I regret that decision. The hardest part about us living together was the fact that she was still legally married and it was hard for us to move on with our lives. Especially with the fact that her parents never knew bout us for the 2 years that we were together being that it was totally against the baptist religion. Mind you her parents are very heavy into the whole baptist religion..........nothing against the religion but I will never date a baptist again. So as the whole thing ended when were living together I caught her in bed with another married man. So it will take me alot of getting to know her and prolly a few years before I move in with another girl after my experience with women.

 

rule of thumb: if woman is willing to cheat on her husband with you, then she will be willing to cheat on you with another man.

 

Agreed 100%. I'm sorry you got hurt aerosmith...but if you don't start the relationship off in a healthy manner, there's little chance it will end up healthy.

 

Ya I knew that rule of thumb theory but guess I was willing to take the chance. Oh well life goes on.............