let's think of nicknames for the cubs

[treebird]

the cubs are awesome but the nicknames aren't cutting it (sorry bryzzo). let's think of interesting and descriptive nicknames for all the players. bonus points for making them weird and old-timey.

 

after we think of the best ones, goony can use the nsbb twitter to popularize them in the mainstream. your good ideas might legit catch on and get awkwardly relayed to a cub by jesse rogers!

[squally1313]

Lack jawed yokel

 

(debates hitting submit for 6 seconds, horsefeathers it)

[MWV]

/cryptkeepervoice

THRILL-son con-SCARE-us

/cryptkeepervoice

[Derwood]

Jack Rabbit Schwarber

[Derwood]

Dutch Baez

[Derwood]

Abner Contreras

[Derwood]

Hop-a-long Heyward

[jersey cubs fan]

Young Bears

[Derwood]

Mordecai Zobrist

[Banedon]

Javy "The Wizard" Baez

 

 

Bonus points: Cardinals fans would be furious.

[jersey cubs fan]

Javy "The Wizard" Baez

 

 

Bonus points: Cardinals fans would be furious.

You talking 'bout Tagiar Baez?

[imb]

Addison "The Pensacola Rock-N-Rolla" Russell

[Transmogrified Tiger]

Kyle Hendricks, DDS

 

It doesn't work out, but the pen is one Montgomery and one more R name from being a MURDERS anagram

[rocket]

my wife calls jake buchanan "pukey bukey" and i think that should stick

[UMFan83]

Kyle Hendricks, DDS

 

It doesn't work out, but the pen is one Montgomery and one more R name from being a MURDERS anagram

 

That's awesome. Too bad we didn't go after Romo when he was available just for this reason.

[Transmogrified Tiger]

Kyle Hendricks, DDS

 

It doesn't work out, but the pen is one Montgomery and one more R name from being a MURDERS anagram

 

That's awesome. Too bad we didn't go after Romo when he was available just for this reason.

 

We could go the Calvin and Hobbes Get Rid Of Slimy girlS route I suppose.

 

Montgomery

Uehara

Rondon

Davis

Edwards

gRimm

Strop

[David]

Kyle Hendricks, DDS

 

It doesn't work out, but the pen is one Montgomery and one more R name from being a MURDERS anagram

 

That's awesome. Too bad we didn't go after Romo when he was available just for this reason.

 

We could go the Calvin and Hobbes Get Rid Of Slimy girlS route I suppose.

 

Montgomery

Uehara

Rondon

Davis

Edwards

gRimm

Strop

 

lesTer

Hendricks

aRrieta

jOhn lackey

Wrett anderson

[JennieGarthAlgar]

Gimme. As in, "Marte rips a laser to leftcenter that wouldve been trouble for most everyone else but its a gimme for Almora, Pirates go 3 up 3 down..." or, more optimistically, "his bat is so hot right now and he's been clutch all year, you gotta gimme mora Almora."

 

Gimme Almora. I'll see myself out.

[squally1313]

Shout out to Derwood to putting his five weird nicknames into 5 separate posts, like that would maximize his number of likes.

[MidoreX]

Sad Boy Hendricks became a thing in my home last season... And Lackey's been Chompers since before he was a cub

[bukie]

my wife calls jake buchanan "pukey bukey" and i think that should stick

I hate everything about this nickname.

[bukie]

Kyle Schwarber - The Great Bambino

Kris Bryant - The Splendid Splinter

Anthony Rizzo - The Hammer

Jason Heyward - The Say Hey Kid

Addison Russell - Mr. October

Willson Contreras - Pudge

Javier Baez - The Mick

Albert Almora - Man of Steal

Ben Zobrist - The Man

Kyle Hendricks - The Professor

Jake Arrieta - Rocket

Jon Lester - Big Unit

[Banedon]

my wife calls jake buchanan "pukey bukey" and i think that should stick

I hate everything about this nickname.

 

You're lucky the custom ranks aren't working right.

[imb]

im gonna call schwarbs "white luke cage" this season i think

[MWV]

I often refer to Schwarber as "Mitchell" because he reminds me of a young Joe Don Baker.