I've Head Coaches Say They'd Rip You a New One....but this?

[vance_the_cubs_fan]

Astros second baseman Kaz Matsui is expected to miss four or five days after being diagnosed with a condition known as anal fissure

 

Link.

 

Anal fissures are cracks or tears in the skin around your anus.

 

Link

[VanceJergins]

Dwight Who thought of this one? Anal fissures.

Kevin Malone: That's a real thing.

Dwight Schrute: Yeah, but no one here has it.

Kevin Malone: Someone has it.

[TruffleShuffle]

i thought everyone was supposed to have a crack back there.

 

but seriously, this sounds AWFUL.

[Ding Dong Johnson]

that's why doctors make the big bucks

[Derwood]

so he has hemmorhoids AND anal fissures?

[vance_the_cubs_fan]

so he has hemmorhoids AND anal fissures?

 

talk about having a pain in the ass

[XZero771679666304]

Clearly the man is having trouble adjusting to southwestern food.

[RedFlash]

Felix Pie and Kaz Matui coming done with some very STRANGE injuries.

 

In the words of Vince Lombardi:

 

What the heck is going on here?

[Guest]

Clearly the man is having trouble adjusting to southwestern food.

 

 

Houston is definitely not in the southwest.

[XZero771679666304]

Clearly the man is having trouble adjusting to southwestern food.

 

 

Houston is definitely not in the southwest.

 

 

Well not technically, but close enough for me.

 

I find Texas as a whole to be closer to Southwestern in nature (if not geography) than anything else.

[jersey cubs fan]

Clearly the man is having trouble adjusting to southwestern food.

 

 

Houston is definitely not in the southwest.

 

 

Well not technically, but close enough for me.

 

I find Texas as a whole to be closer to Southwestern in nature (if not geography) than anything else.

 

But isn't he in Florida now anyway?

[daske17]

Wasn't Anal Fissure the porn movie starring Joey Buttafuoco?

[Bote McBoteface]

*makes an "everything is bigger in texas" joke*

[BCVM22]

Astros 2B Matsui to have surgery

 

KISSIMMEE, FLORIDA (TICKER) —The Houston Astros on Friday announced that second baseman Kaz Matsui will undergo surgery to repair an anal fissure, causing him to miss the next two weeks.

 

:-#

[Lockes Eye Scar]

I honestly feel sorry for this guy... anal fissues?

[LeftCoastCubFan]

He does swing both ways

[cubs121]

Oh man, I cant help but feel bad for him. Its gotta hurt alot!

[Clem Fandango]

He does swing both ways

 

Ba-zing!