ITT: Make Up Blatantly False Trade Rumors/Transactions

[fearthecubs]

CHICAGO: Len Kasper is reporting that the Cubs have signed Brant Brown to a 3 year, 18 million dollar deal to play LF. Murton, a highly touted rookie, was also subsequently moved in a different trade today with fellow rookies Mark Pawalek and Felix Pie to the Diamondbacks for pitcher Russ Ortiz. When asked for comments, Jim Hendry replied "Didn't he win like 18 games or something once?". In the last move of a busy day for the Cubs, Delino DeShields was signed out of retirement by the Cubs to compete for a position at SS.

[Derwood]

I heard Hendry was flipping Chuck Norris for Mcguyver and "Face" from the A-Team

[JeffH]

Re-post from another thread:

 

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The Cubs have re-signed infielder Jose Macias to a two-year, $4 million contract.

 

"Obviously, we have a real need for a quality, quality veteran middle infielder who has experience at the top of the order. We're tickled to have Jose back," said Cubs General Manager Jim Hendry.

 

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The Chicago Cubs have acquired centerfielder Juan Pierre from the Florida Marlins in exchange for LHPs Rich Hill, Sean Marshall, Renyel Pinto, and a player to be named later.

 

The player to be named later is believed to be LHP Mark Pawelek.

 

"Obviously, we like Pierre. He can run and is a quality, quality defender. We were attracted to the way he catches the ball. We plan to slot him in the batting order at #2 behind Macias," said Cubs GM Jim Hendry.

 

"We feel that this is a good, old fashioned baseball trade that helps out both sides," said Hendry.

 

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The Chicago Cubs have acquired shortstop Cesar Izturis from the Los Angeles Dodgers for right handed pitcher Kerry Wood.

 

"Obviously, we like Kerry a lot and are very grateful for all he's meant to this franchise, but we felt like we couldn't pass up the opportunity to add a guy like Izturis. He's a quality, quality guy," said Cubs GM Jim Hendry.

 

"Our doctors have given us positive reports on Izturis' elbow and we expect him back in time for the start of the season, with a worst case scenario of a couple weeks into April. We feel like he'll be the missing piece at the top of our lineup," added Hendry.

 

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The Chicago Cubs have signed free agent outfielders Jacque Jones and Preston Wilson to a pair of three-year contracts.

 

Jones will receive a guaranteed $24 million over the three seasons, with incentives that could bring the total value of the deal to $30 million.

 

Wilson will receive a guaranteed $20 million over the three seasons, with incentives that could bring the total value of the deal to $25 million.

 

"Obviously, we had a need in the outfield. We're excited to be able to add two of the top outfielders available in the free agent market. Jacque and Preston both have terrific track records. We expect that they'll give a quality boost to our lineup," said Cubs GM Jim Hendry.

 

"We feel that both guys bring a lot to the table - they can catch the ball and can hit the ball out of the ballpark," added Hendry.

 

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[ThePenguin11]

The Cubs have signed Bobby Hull to a one-day contract to play against newly acquired White Sox player Minnie Minoso in this year's crosstown classic.

 

http://www.chicagowolves.com/news/readstory.cfm?story=1303

[Chris]

The prize is an autographed card of each Alex Gonzalez donated by DJAXXFAN.

 

That's a pretty big sacrifice

[Derwood]

K-Gon and, what, K-Gon2?

[Andy]

K-Gon and, what, K-Gon2?

K-SGon. :wink:

 

My source in Iceland has heard on ESPN Radio Iceland that the Tribune Company has purchased the Yankees from George Steinbrenner and subsequently traded ARod to the Cubs for Blanco and Patterson. I've got Brenly here and he says he will confirm. Also I talked to Neifi and while I didn't quite understand what he was saying he said the words "ARod" and "Cubs" so I assume he is clued in.

[Derwood]

I hear the Cubs are going after Lugo because Neifi is the cornerstone in either an Abreu or Manny deal

[CP_414]

Cubs Get: Dunn, Wilkerson

Reds Get: Livan Hernandez, Rich Hill, Nolasko, $ 3M from Cubs

Nationals Get: Williams, Patterson, Harvey, "B" Prospect from Reds

[CardsFanInChiTown]

According to ESPN the Blue Jays signed Burnett

 

 

:P

[Roast]

The cubs traded Matt murton for a box of australian chewing sticks. Dusty couldnt be happier.

[Mark_R]

The cubs traded Matt murton for a box of australian chewing sticks. Dusty couldnt be happier.

 

What's your source on this? I heard it from some Aussie news station.

[WrigleyField 22]

I hear the Cubs are going after Lugo because Neifi is the cornerstone in either an Abreu or Manny deal

 

NO WAY WOULD HENDRY TRADE NIEFI!!!!!

 

 

Now call me crazy, but this morning I was eating my alphabet cereal, and the following message was in my bowl.

 

dleearampriorzam4.... the four was an actually an upside down "H" that was broke and looked like "h"....

 

thats all there was, but my good friend in Ethiopia said his alphabet cereal said done. Done sounds like Dunn, so I'm still waiting on my friend in Tawain to confirm with his alphabet cereal, but it looks like a DUNN deal!

We are getting Dunn.

 

OMFG!!!!111!11!>?#!!1 DUNN IS DONE!!!! HAHAHA OML IM HILARIOUS!!!!

Hes Saving the ballclub BABYYYYY!!!!121>2!#@!#4!!!!!! YEA!

(none of you believe me but..)

Edited December 6, 2005 by WrigleyField 22

[WrigleyField 22]

My Challende to all of you: find the obvious(or maybe not so obvious) reference in my above post^^

[NCCubFan]

The cubs traded Matt murton for a box of australian chewing sticks. Dusty couldnt be happier.

 

What's your source on this? I heard it from some Aussie news station.

Len Kasper told me about that trade (he even told me what flavor the chewing sticks are, but he swore me to secrecy). Or maybe it was the fake Len from the cubs.com board. :lol:

[Andy]

My Challende to all of you: find the obvious(or maybe not so obvious) reference in my above post^^

It's pretty obvious from whoever it was (Vance?) who posted that ramblings row of exclamation points right above his MS Paint illustration of Zito as a Cub.

[Andy]

Cubs Get: Dunn, Wilkerson

Reds Get: Livan Hernandez, Rich Hill, Nolasko, $ 3M from Cubs

Nationals Get: Williams, Patterson, Harvey, "B" Prospect from Reds

Am I crazy or does that trade not seem all that wildly off if we offered more prospects?

[WrigleyField 22]

My Challende to all of you: find the obvious(or maybe not so obvious) reference in my above post^^

It's pretty obvious from whoever it was (Vance?) who posted that ramblings row of exclamation points right above his MS Paint illustration of Zito as a Cub.

 

Actually its a direct quote.

[Andy]

My Challende to all of you: find the obvious(or maybe not so obvious) reference in my above post^^

It's pretty obvious from whoever it was (Vance?) who posted that ramblings row of exclamation points right above his MS Paint illustration of Zito as a Cub.

 

Actually its a direct quote.

Wait is it the parenthetical statement from M4D's Zito rumor mongering last night?

[CardsFanInChiTown]

Cubs Get: Dunn, Wilkerson

Reds Get: Livan Hernandez, Rich Hill, Nolasko, $ 3M from Cubs

Nationals Get: Williams, Patterson, Harvey, "B" Prospect from Reds

Am I crazy or does that trade not seem all that wildly off if we offered more prospects?

 

You are crazy.

[WrigleyField 22]

Cubs Get: Dunn, Wilkerson

Reds Get: Livan Hernandez, Rich Hill, Nolasko, $ 3M from Cubs

Nationals Get: Williams, Patterson, Harvey, "B" Prospect from Reds

Am I crazy or does that trade not seem all that wildly off if we offered more prospects?

 

He did say, anything thing from absolutely ridiculous to almost possible (or something to that effect). As long as it has no truth.

[Andy]

Cubs Get: Dunn, Wilkerson

Reds Get: Livan Hernandez, Rich Hill, Nolasko, $ 3M from Cubs

Nationals Get: Williams, Patterson, Harvey, "B" Prospect from Reds

Am I crazy or does that trade not seem all that wildly off if we offered more prospects?

 

You are crazy.

I already knew that. I'm following this team, aren't I?

[WrigleyField 22]

My Challende to all of you: find the obvious(or maybe not so obvious) reference in my above post^^

It's pretty obvious from whoever it was (Vance?) who posted that ramblings row of exclamation points right above his MS Paint illustration of Zito as a Cub.

 

Actually its a direct quote.

Wait is it the parenthetical statement from M4D's Zito rumor mongering last night?

 

ding ding ding. from his first post.

[CardsFanInChiTown]

Cubs Get: Dunn, Wilkerson

Reds Get: Livan Hernandez, Rich Hill, Nolasko, $ 3M from Cubs

Nationals Get: Williams, Patterson, Harvey, "B" Prospect from Reds

Am I crazy or does that trade not seem all that wildly off if we offered more prospects?

 

You are crazy.

I already knew that. I'm following this team, aren't I?

 

hah, yeah. Considering how much we care about this silly game we are all a little crazy. Anyway, to get Dunn and Wilkerson you are going to have to give up something that hurts - I think.

[badger1679666666]

A blatantly false Trade?

 

Here's one.

 

Cubs offer [fill in the blank without Z or Prior], Phillies accept and send Abreu.