6/11 Cubs (Quintana) @ Rockies (Lambert) 7:40 WGN

[squally1313]

I could not possibly give less of a horsefeathers if guys like Schwarber or Heyward are "technically good." That's so lame, and they really suck in almost all of the cool ways it actually matters.

Schwarber!?!?!?

[Sammy Sofa]

Hence the "almost." He's cool in one way (arguably the only way he's not just a complete disaster otherwise).

[squally1313]

I could not possibly give less of a horsefeathers if guys like Schwarber or Heyward are "technically good." That's so lame, and they really suck in almost all of the cool ways it actually matters.

 

Also, this type of statement, posted by any new poster here, would get ripped apart by pretty much everyone here, including, if not especially, you.

[Sammy Sofa]

I'm turning 40 in 2 days; I figure since death must be right around the corner it's time to throw caution to the wind. I want baseball Monstars, not the lamest custom players made by some nerd trying to be "realistic" with his Road to the Show guy.

[squally1313]

I mean, I hate to break it to you, but the list of players that could qualify as Monstars is pretty slim. Thankfully, we have at least one of them already, and the one everyone wanted in the offseason, well...

 

294 PAs, 11 HRs, 13.6% BB%, 29.6% K%, .338 BABIP, .251/.357/.466, 114 wRC, 1.8 WAR

254 PAs, 13 HRs, 13.4% BB%, 27.6% K%, .272 BABIP, .233/.335/.460, 104 wRC, 0.6 WAR

 

Unless your list of 'cool ways it actually matters' is BABIP (sure?), defensive metrics (almost definitely not), or a majestic, flowing mane of hair (alright, definitely fair)...we'd kinda be in the same spot.

[Sammy Sofa]

It's like the whole legal legend about pornography: "I know it when I see it." I know there's a huge middle ground between the Cubs horsefeathers ass, "technically good" OF and a trio of world beaters out there.

 

Plus, come on; chastising me for being a meatball (and I am) and then tossing out Harper (or Machado instead) in 2019 all, like, "welp, that's certainly this guy going forward, good thing the Cubs have the player equivalent of the generic brands from Repo Man instead," seems kinda iffy.

[ConstableRabbit]

I'm turning 40 in 2 days; I figure since death must be right around the corner it's time to throw caution to the wind. I want baseball Monstars, not the lamest custom players made by some nerd trying to be "realistic" with his Road to the Show guy.

You want the Monstars if they were... not having that great of a season relative to your current team?

 

Also the Monstars horsefeathering lost to the Toon Squad. Accumulating a team of expensive stars that don't win horsefeathers is exactly the opposite of what is good.

[Sammy Sofa]

The Toon Squad won because they went out and got the ultimate free agent.

 

CHECK AND MATE.

 

Theo needs to start kidnapping players and their lucky jockstraps, or else he's just not trying hard enough.

[BigSlick]

Baez/bryant/Willson better get hot soon or their numbers are going to tank

You mean the Cubs record will tank.

 

This team is probably the 2nd best in the NL but for some odd reason I have no faith. Maybe I've been spoiled with the last 4 years

Weirdly, this team will almost certainly finish with fewer wins than last years team but I much much much prefer this team. Maybe its because the way the 2018 team played down the stretch was so bad.

 

This team has furious hot and cold streaks, more than the average MLB team (no dont show me numbers I know I'm right) but when Kimbrel comes through and if the starting pitching stays strong, they'll be more than fine.

[Cubswin11]

Baez/bryant/Willson better get hot soon or their numbers are going to tank

You mean the Cubs record will tank.

 

This team is probably the 2nd best in the NL but for some odd reason I have no faith. Maybe I've been spoiled with the last 4 years

Weirdly, this team will almost certainly finish with fewer wins than last years team but I much much much prefer this team. Maybe its because the way the 2018 team played down the stretch was so bad.

 

This team has furious hot and cold streaks, more than the average MLB team (no dont show me numbers I know I'm right) but when Kimbrel comes through and if the starting pitching stays strong, they'll be more than fine.

The division playoff and WC game sucked but they finished 34-22 from August-Sept, 18-10 Aug, 16-12 Sep. that’s not “bad.” It took a team playing at like 140 win pace for ~40 games to make it “bad.”

[ConstableRabbit]

The Toon Squad won because they went out and got the ultimate free agent.

 

CHECK AND MATE.

 

Theo needs to start kidnapping players and their lucky jockstraps, or else he's just not trying hard enough.

They kidnapped him, he played for free, played one game, then retired. In short, I'm down for giving Barry Bonds 5 PAs.

[BigSlick]

You mean the Cubs record will tank.

 

This team is probably the 2nd best in the NL but for some odd reason I have no faith. Maybe I've been spoiled with the last 4 years

Weirdly, this team will almost certainly finish with fewer wins than last years team but I much much much prefer this team. Maybe its because the way the 2018 team played down the stretch was so bad.

 

This team has furious hot and cold streaks, more than the average MLB team (no dont show me numbers I know I'm right) but when Kimbrel comes through and if the starting pitching stays strong, they'll be more than fine.

The division playoff and WC game sucked but they finished 34-22 from August-Sept, 18-10 Aug, 16-12 Sep. that’s not “bad.” It took a team playing at like 140 win pace for ~40 games to make it “bad.”

they were bad