3/30/19 CUBS (Yuuuuuuu've got what I neeeeeed) @ TexASS Rangers (*checks notes* EDINSON VOLQUEZ?!?) - 7:05 CST - NBCSCH

[Sammy Sofa]

 

[dropshadow=blue]The Kris Bryant Days Without a Dong-o-Meter[/dropshadow]: [glow=red][fade]1 DAY[/fade][/glow]

 

Why mess with success? I am taking 10000000000% credit for fixing this team, I'm going to be 1000000000000000% even more insufferable, and you can all go kick rocks with your dicks.

 

Our surgical monster is pitching against their surgical monster, though our surgical monster has had more recent success, so hopefully he strikes a bunch of dudes out and the Cubs win again before Theo sends Roast to dig up a fresh elbow.

 

Seriously; Edinson horsefeathering Volquez is starting this game. That's just stupid.

 

BAZOOKA!!!!

 

Edited March 30, 2019 by Sammy Sofa

[Cubswin11]

[We Got The Whole 9]

 

[dropshadow=blue]The Kris Bryant Days Without a Dong-o-Meter[/dropshadow]: [glow=red][fade]0 DAYS[/fade][/glow]

 

Why mess with success? I am taking 10000000000% credit for fixing this team, I'm going to be 1000000000000000% even more insufferable, and you can all go kick rocks with your dicks.

 

Our surgical monster is pitching against their surgical monster, though our surgical monster has had more recent success, so hopefully he strikes a bunch of dudes out and the Cubs win again before Theo sends Roast to dig up a fresh elbow.

 

Seriously; Edinson horsefeathering Volquez is starting this game. That's just stupid.

 

BAZOOKA!!!!

 

Even worse is that he's pitched 13 games against us and has held a 3.1 ERA over those games without suffering a loss.

[Derwood]

I'm going to be 1000000000000000% even more insufferable

 

[Sammy Sofa]

I definitely feel like if my posts had a face, it would be that guy.

[Sammy Sofa]

Seriously; Edinson horsefeathering Volquez is starting this game. That's just stupid.

Even worse is that he's pitched 13 games against us and has held a 3.1 ERA over those games without suffering a loss.

 

[Hairyducked Idiot]

They come out SuperCubs and you disrespect them with this. You just jinxed the whole season.

[Sammy Sofa]

Or they did it because I disrespected from the start...

[philosophizer75]

Yeah but I thought the BBT gifs were because everything sucked. I think their performance today (mainly Javy's) merits some marginal upgrade in gif material at least, like I dunno move up the ladder to iCarly gifs or something.

[Derwood]

They come out SuperCubs and you disrespect them with this. You just jinxed the whole season.

Or they did it because I disrespected from the start...

[Hairyducked Idiot]

Yeah but I thought the BBT gifs were because everything sucked. I think their performance today (mainly Javy's) merits some marginal upgrade in gif material at least, like I dunno move up the ladder to iCarly gifs or something.

 

When Javy's due up and you wanna make a prediction:

 

[badger]

What is BBT because I legitimately have never seen a show with a character in it before. Then again I only watch good TV.

[Hairyducked Idiot]

What is BBT because I legitimately have never seen a show with a character in it before. Then again I only watch good TV.

 

It's a blackface minstrel show except for autism.

[badger]

You had me at blackface

[Aaron_Kennelly]

Really surprising we got through the off-season without a blackface scandal.

[CyHawk_Cub]

Really surprising we got through the off-season without a blackface scandal.

 

I'm just waiting for pics from Joe Ricketts' birthday party to emerge.

[Aaron_Kennelly]

Really surprising we got through the off-season without a blackface scandal.

 

I'm just waiting for pics from Joe Ricketts' birthday party to emerge.

 

Probably looks like one of the murals at Pawnee City Hall.

[Sammys Boombox]

Last year this date I was recovering from my first round of chemo. This year I’m driving with my dad and brothers down to Texas for Saturday’s game. 7 months remission baby.

[Sammy Sofa]

Last year this date I was recovering from my first round of chemo. This year I’m driving with my dad and brothers down to Texas for Saturday’s game. 7 months remission baby.

 

Hell yeah.

[Sammy Sofa]

Yeah but I thought the BBT gifs were because everything sucked. I think their performance today (mainly Javy's) merits some marginal upgrade in gif material at least, like I dunno move up the ladder to iCarly gifs or something.

 

As promised, the BBT gifs will be banished as soon as they give me a win streak.

[WrigleyField 22]

Yeah but I thought the BBT gifs were because everything sucked. I think their performance today (mainly Javy's) merits some marginal upgrade in gif material at least, like I dunno move up the ladder to iCarly gifs or something.

 

As promised, the BBT gifs will be banished as soon as they give me a win streak.

http://66.media.tumblr.com/fe2aaddece1ce2261971d08d62ae9a0c/tumblr_mu603rLH9h1qzukcpo2_r1_400.gif

[Thed Hoyerstein]

I'm going to be 1000000000000000% even more insufferable

 

[Sammy Sofa]

Yeah but I thought the BBT gifs were because everything sucked. I think their performance today (mainly Javy's) merits some marginal upgrade in gif material at least, like I dunno move up the ladder to iCarly gifs or something.

 

When Javy's due up and you wanna make a prediction:

 

 

I appreciate this reminder that things could always be much, much worse.

[Sammy Sofa]

I'm fuzzy about the math for things such as the vaunted Kris Bryant Days Without a Dong-o-Meter; would today be 1 day without a dong? Or does 1 full day without a dong have to pass for it technically be 1 day without a dong?

[JudasIscariotTheBird]

What is BBT because I legitimately have never seen a show with a character in it before. Then again I only watch good TV.

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