8/3 Marlins (Koehler) @ Cubs (Lackey) 1:20PM CST CSN

[Clem Fandango]

 

The wins just keep on coming. Jose Fernandez proved to be mortal, though he did strike out 8 batters over 6, keeping that K game strong, mostly against Javy, though. That's okay, the Cubs have ways of making you lose. Primarily by not letting you score as Utz© Spokesboy Jason Hammel continues to put "2nd Half Hammel" into the dumpster along with his typical 2nd half stats. Way to go Jason. Rondon and Lefty Ike Turner (©2016 sneakypower All Rights Reserved) are proving to be a formidable duo at the backend of the bullpen as well, way to go guys.

 

Tomorrow the fish are futily throwing out Tom Koehler at us. Contrary to popular belief, Tom Koehler is not the founder and CEO of the Kohler sink manufacturer, but he's gonna wish he was after the donging the Cubs will lay upon him tomorrow (because he'd be super rich without a care in the world, duh).

 

Despite not being a sink empresario, he is however the owner of a face that always looks like he's trying to hide a secret and/or imply he needs to tell you something important:

 

http://i.imgur.com/1d2hoeh.jpg

 

Also his stats looks like this:

 

                                                                      
Year   W L  ERA  G GS    IP BB SO ERA+  FIP  WHIP  H9 HR9 BB9 SO9 SO/W
2016   8 8 4.18 21 21 114.0 54 89   94 4.27 1.465 8.9 0.8 4.3 7.0 1.65

 

He is not that good, and he walks a ton of guys. Luckily our team likes to draw walks so this will be a... walk... in the park? The park being Wrigley? High five? Anyone?

 

He'll be facing John Lackey. John Lackey has 205 teeth. He started his career with 32 teeth like a normal person, but then he started growing a tooth with each professional MLB victory. He started this year with 197 teeth. He will be looking to grow his 206th tooth tomorrow. Here's what his teeth look like:

 

http://i.imgur.com/6lgEcvx.jpg?1

 

Here's what his stats look like:

 

                                                                    
Year   W L  ERA  G GS    IP  SO ERA+  FIP  WHIP  H9 HR9 BB9 SO9 SO/W
2016   8 7 3.69 21 21 136.2 137  108 3.80 1.090 7.1 1.1 2.7 9.0 3.34

 

The John Lackey "I'm-a-terrible-pitcher-just-kidding-no-I'm-not-double-psyche-out-yes-I-am-or-am-I" rollercoaster continues tomorrow.

 

Keep winning Cubs.

[davell]

I surmise a differing synopsis on Lackey's teeth. I don't think he has 205. I think that he has only 14 Megaladon sized teeth.

 

A species, such as Lackey, grows inordinantly large teeth due to chewing on his knuckles, playdough, and ROUS's.

[TruffleShuffle]

koehler is pretty much the definition of mediocre. dong him into oblivion.

[Sammy Sofa]

Lackey's teeth are like sharks' teeth in that he is constantly shedding them and growing new ones.

[bcl412]

I like winning so keep doing it but we need some damn dongs too

[Schwarbie]

Maddon basically said before the game yesterday that Russell gets the day off today, and for some reason I could see Dex and Contreras get the day off too. My lineup prediction.

LF- Coghlan

3B- Bryant

1B- Rizzo

2B- Zobrist

RF- Heyward

SS- Baez

C- Montero

CF- Sczcur

 

Crazy how this is a lineup without 3 of our regulars and still better than basically everyone else in the NL.

[Omar]

http://i.imgur.com/rIczH88.png

[Omar]

Marlins v. Lackey

Name                  PA  AB  H 2B 3B HR RBI BB SO   BA  OBP  SLG   OPS SH SF IBB HBP GDP missG
Ichiro Suzuki        129 121 37  6  1  1   7  7 16 .306 .349 .397  .746  0  0   1   1         0
Jeff Mathis           11  10  2  0  0  0   0  0  4 .200 .200 .200  .400  1  0   0   0         0
Dee Gordon             7   6  1  0  0  0   0  1  1 .167 .286 .167  .452  0  0   0   0         0
Martin Prado           7   7  4  1  0  0   1  0  2 .571 .571 .714 1.286  0  0   0   0         0
J.T. Realmuto          6   6  2  0  0  0   0  0  0 .333 .333 .333  .667  0  0   0   0         0
Adeiny Hechavarria     5   5  1  0  0  0   0  0  2 .200 .200 .200  .400  0  0   0   0         1
Marcell Ozuna          4   4  1  0  0  0   0  0  1 .250 .250 .250  .500  0  0   0   0         0
Derek Dietrich         3   3  1  0  0  0   0  0  0 .333 .333 .333  .667  0  0   0   0         0
Chris Johnson          3   3  0  0  0  0   0  0  2 .000 .000 .000  .000  0  0   0   0         0
Giancarlo Stanton      3   2  1  0  0  0   1  1  1 .500 .667 .500 1.167  0  0   0   0         0
Christian Yelich       3   1  0  0  0  0   1  1  0 .000 .333 .000  .333  0  1   0   0         0
Andrew Cashner         2   2  0  0  0  0   0  0  0 .000 .000 .000  .000  0  0   0   0         0
Total                183 170 50  7  1  1  10 10 29 .294 .335 .365  .700  1  1   1   1         1
Has not faced: Miguel Rojas & Has not faced pitchers: Kyle Barraclough, Adam Conley, Mike Dunn, Brian Ellington, Jose Fernandez, Tom Koehler, Dustin McGowan, Nefi Ogando, David Phelps, A.J. Ramos, Fernando Rodney and Nick Wittgren

 

Cubs v. Koehler

Name                PA AB  H 2B 3B HR RBI BB SO   BA  OBP   SLG   OPS SH SF IBB HBP GDP missG
Jason Heyward       24 21  6  0  1  0   1  3  1 .286 .375  .381  .756  0  0   0   0         1
Dexter Fowler       11 10  0  0  0  0   0  1  2 .000 .091  .000  .091  0  0   0   0         1
Miguel Montero      10  9  2  1  0  0   3  1  1 .222 .300  .333  .633  0  0   0   0         0
Ben Zobrist         10 10  3  0  0  1   2  0  1 .300 .300  .600  .900  0  0   0   0         1
Anthony Rizzo        8  6  0  0  0  0   1  1  1 .000 .250  .000  .250  0  0   0   1         0
Kris Bryant          6  6  2  1  0  1   1  0  3 .333 .333 1.000 1.333  0  0   0   0         0
Chris Coghlan        6  5  1  0  1  0   0  1  1 .200 .333  .600  .933  0  0   0   0         0
Addison Russell      5  5  3  0  0  0   0  0  0 .600 .600  .600 1.200  0  0   0   0         0
Jason Hammel         4  3  0  0  0  0   0  0  0 .000 .000  .000  .000  1  0   0   0         0
Javier Baez          3  3  1  0  0  0   1  0  1 .333 .333  .333  .667  0  0   0   0         1
Willson Contreras    3  2  1  0  0  1   2  0  1 .500 .667 2.000 2.667  0  0   0   1         0
Kyle Hendricks       2  0  0  0  0  0   0  0                        0  2  0   0   0         0
David Ross           1  1  0  0  0  0   0  0  1 .000 .000  .000  .000  0  0   0   0         0
Matt Szczur          1  1  0  0  0  0   0  0  0 .000 .000  .000  .000  0  0   0   0         0
Total               94 82 19  2  2  3  11  7 13 .232 .308  .415  .722  3  0   0   2         4
Has not faced pitchers: Jake Arrieta, Aroldis Chapman, Carl Edwards, John Lackey, Jon Lester, Mike Montgomery, Joe Nathan, Hector Rondon, Joe Smith, Pedro Strop and Travis Wood

[jersey cubs fan]

[wvcbxl]

Maddon basically said before the game yesterday that Russell gets the day off today, and for some reason I could see Dex and Contreras get the day off too.

 

Joe disagrees

[Schwarbie]

Maddon basically said before the game yesterday that Russell gets the day off today, and for some reason I could see Dex and Contreras get the day off too.

 

Joe disagrees

 

Fine by me. Love the lineup today.

[Omar]

I want to see Travis Wood start in the OF one day.

[Sammy Sofa]

While Zobrist is hitting again, it feels like his creepy presence in the cleanup spot has somehow sapped the team of its dong-power.

[Banedon]

Despite not being a sink empresario, he is however the owner of a face that always looks like he's trying to hide a secret and/or imply he needs to tell you something important:

 

http://i.imgur.com/1d2hoeh.jpg

 

I feel like you really missed on a chance for a "bold looks of Koehler" joke here.

[Cubswin11]

Sweep these fools

[UMFan83]

With last night's events, Fangraph's has raised the Cubs playoff odds from 99.7% to 99.9% although somehow their odds of winning the division went down from 98.1% to 98% and the Cardinals went up from 1.6% to 1.8%

[Clem Fandango]

Despite not being a sink empresario, he is however the owner of a face that always looks like he's trying to hide a secret and/or imply he needs to tell you something important:

 

http://i.imgur.com/1d2hoeh.jpg

 

I feel like you really missed on a chance for a "bold looks of Koehler" joke here.

 

Touché

[Liam Neeson]

[tweet]

[/tweet]

 

No Ichiro again. I know their OF is good but I'm going to go with the "Loria is benching him to increase home ticket sales" theory anyway.

[Omar]

No Ichiro again. I know their OF is good but I'm going to go with the "Loria is benching him to increase home ticket sales" theory anyway.

 

Ichiro had fairly respectable line against Jason Hammel and didn't start yesterday, and has respectable line against Lackey today. With a 1-run game yesterday, he probably could have made a difference with more than 1 pinch-hit at-bat. You'd think with the wild card/playoff push this late in the season, they would put aside the potential for high attendance and focus on winning and going with the better odds.

[Aaron_Kennelly]

I thought for sure Miggy was going to gun him out.

[treebird]

montero is a nightmare

[NotSoSober]

go ahead and leave lackey and montero of the playoff roster

[Aaron_Kennelly]

Contreras looked like a catcher playing out there on that. And Lackey looked like he was muttering racial slurs under his breath after it happened.

[Omar]

I thought for sure Miggy was going to gun him out.

 

http://e.lvme.me/swtmvsx.jpg

[UMFan83]

One of the few times Contreras has semi-misplayed a ball in LF. Expect Lackey to bitch about it in his postgame interview after a 13-1 Cubs win. Edited August 3, 2016 by UMFan83