5/11 Padres (Pomeranz) @ CUBS (Lackey) 7:05 CDT CSN

[ctcf]

Somehow the Cubs got confused and managed to lose a game, which is weird and dumb. I'm decidedly not a fan and think winning tonight would be a much better idea.

 

The Padres are sending this schmuck who is somehow still around after being injured for what feels like 10 years. He also seems to be generally unsure of what to do with his face, which is kinda weird.

 

http://www1.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Drew+Pomeranz+Cleveland+Indians+Photo+Day+_xVdCBkttrVl.jpg

 

 

To counter, the Cubs will send this man and his absolutely horrifying teeth to the mound. Presumably this will be so distracting, the Padres will forget to hit.

 

http://www.deepishthoughts.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/102913soxsc023.jpg

 

Go Cubs.

[Omar]

Cubs v. Pomeranz

Name             PA AB H 2B 3B HR RBI BB SO    BA   OBP   SLG   OPS SH SF IBB HBP GDP missG
Anthony Rizzo     5  5 0  0  0  0   0  0  1  .000  .000  .000  .000  0  0   0   0         0
Trevor Cahill     2  2 0  0  0  0   0  0  1  .000  .000  .000  .000  0  0   0   0         0
Tim Federowicz    2  1 0  0  0  0   0  1  1  .000  .500  .000  .500  0  0   0   0         0
Dexter Fowler     2  2 1  0  0  0   0  0  0  .500  .500  .500 1.000  0  0   0   0         0
Jason Heyward     1  1 1  0  0  0   0  0  0 1.000 1.000 1.000 2.000  0  0   0   0         0
David Ross        1  0 0  0  0  0   0  1        0             1.000  0  0   0   0         0
Total            13 11 2  0  0  0   0  2  3  .182  .308  .182  .490  0  0   0   0         0
Has not faced: Javier Baez, Kris Bryant, Ryan Kalish, Tommy La Stella, Addison Russell, Jorge Soler and Ben Zobrist & Has not faced pitchers: Jake Arrieta, Justin Grimm, Jason Hammel, Kyle Hendricks, John Lackey, Jon Lester, Neil Ramirez, Clayton Richard, Hector Rondon, Pedro Strop, Adam Warren and Travis Wood

 

Padres v. Lackey

Name                PA AB  H 2B 3B HR RBI BB SO   BA  OBP  SLG   OPS SH SF IBB HBP GDP missG
Melvin Upton        34 33  7  2  0  2   5  1 13 .212 .235 .455  .690  0  0   0   0         0
Matt Kemp           19 19  3  0  0  0   0  0 10 .158 .158 .158  .316  0  0   0   0         0
Alexei Ramirez      15 13  2  1  0  0   0  2  2 .154 .267 .231  .497  0  0   0   0         1
Wil Myers            9  9  2  1  0  0   0  0  2 .222 .222 .333  .556  0  0   0   0         0
Jon Jay              7  7  2  0  0  0   0  0  1 .286 .286 .286  .571  0  0   0   0         0
Derek Norris         6  5  1  0  0  0   0  1  1 .200 .333 .200  .533  0  0   0   0         0
Travis Jankowski     3  3  2  0  0  0   1  0  0 .667 .667 .667 1.333  0  0   0   0         0
Brett Wallace        3  3  1  1  0  0   0  0  2 .333 .333 .667 1.000  0  0   0   0         0
Andrew Cashner       2  2  0  0  0  0   0  0  0 .000 .000 .000  .000  0  0   0   0         0
Brad Hand            2  2  0  0  0  0   0  0  1 .000 .000 .000  .000  0  0   0   0         0
Total              100 96 20  5  0  2   6  4 32 .208 .240 .323  .563  0  0   0   0         1
Has not faced: Christian Bethancourt, Jabari Blash, Alex Dickerson, Jose Pirela and Adam Rosales & Has not faced pitchers: Ryan Buchter, Brandon Maurer, Luis Perdomo, Drew Pomeranz, Kevin Quackenbush, Colin Rea, Fernando Rodney, James Shields, Cesar Vargas and Carlos Villanueva

[David]

if we lose tonight i'm going to go full blown game thread meatball.

 

i have absurdly irrationally high expectations of this team.

[Aaron_Kennelly]

Thank god we have another game today. I couldn't last until Friday with the stench of losing lingering.

[Ding Dong Johnson]

I was just talking about a 156 win season this morning at work. I have to quit my job now; there's no way I can show my face around the office anymore.

[squally1313]

It's fine guys, double headers are near impossible to sweep. That's why we'll win.

[Clem Fandango]

I like sweeping playoff contenders. I don't like getting beat by cellar dwellers.

 

Stop losing to last place teams kthxbye.

[ctcf]

It's fine guys, double headers are near impossible to sweep. That's why we'll win.

 

You're probably joking, but it's actually about 50/50.

[Cubbie Swagger]

I've always wondered why some rich people have really bad teeth. Look at Will Ferrell, for example. His teeth are disgusting.

 

I'm usually not the type that's into things like plastic surgery or hair restoration or whatever, but if your teeth are really gross and you have millions sitting around, it seems like a no-brainer to me.

[CubinNY]

I'm sick of this losing horsefeathers. Let's go.

[David]

I've always wondered why some rich people have really bad teeth. Look at Will Ferrell, for example. His teeth are disgusting.

 

I'm usually not the type that's into things like plastic surgery or hair restoration or whatever, but if your teeth are really gross and you have millions sitting around, it seems like a no-brainer to me.

 

yeah...anthony davis embracing his fucked up teeth and eyebrow is so weird to me

 

even strahan...i guess maybe they were so cool and popular since they were so amazing at sports growing up that they never developed insecurities about that stuff.

[Cubbie Swagger]

I've always wondered why some rich people have really bad teeth. Look at Will Ferrell, for example. His teeth are disgusting.

 

I'm usually not the type that's into things like plastic surgery or hair restoration or whatever, but if your teeth are really gross and you have millions sitting around, it seems like a no-brainer to me.

 

yeah...anthony davis embracing his [expletive] up teeth and eyebrow is so weird to me

 

even strahan...i guess maybe they were so cool and popular since they were so amazing at sports growing up that they never developed insecurities about that stuff.

For some reason, I can kinda understand the brow, just because it's so weird and stigmatized. It doesn't surprise me that there is at least one celeb out there that decided to flaunt it. Bad teeth are just gross, though.

[David]

I've always wondered why some rich people have really bad teeth. Look at Will Ferrell, for example. His teeth are disgusting.

 

I'm usually not the type that's into things like plastic surgery or hair restoration or whatever, but if your teeth are really gross and you have millions sitting around, it seems like a no-brainer to me.

 

yeah...anthony davis embracing his [expletive] up teeth and eyebrow is so weird to me

 

even strahan...i guess maybe they were so cool and popular since they were so amazing at sports growing up that they never developed insecurities about that stuff.

For some reason, I can kinda understand the brow, just because it's so weird and stigmatized. It doesn't surprise me that there is at least one celeb out there that decided to flaunt it. Bad teeth are just gross, though.

 

the first time i noticed his teeth i had actual nightmares

[Aaron_Kennelly]

Our run differential just went in the wrong direction. We are teetering on +100. The horror.

[Cubbie Swagger]

 

yeah...anthony davis embracing his [expletive] up teeth and eyebrow is so weird to me

 

even strahan...i guess maybe they were so cool and popular since they were so amazing at sports growing up that they never developed insecurities about that stuff.

For some reason, I can kinda understand the brow, just because it's so weird and stigmatized. It doesn't surprise me that there is at least one celeb out there that decided to flaunt it. Bad teeth are just gross, though.

 

the first time i noticed his teeth i had actual nightmares

Haha, I had never really noticed his teeth before, and I was about to reply that his teeth don't even look that bad on Google, then I saw the bottom row.

 

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BiuAZTNIUAEiKfX.jpg

 

In almost every picture of him, you can only see the top row, because he covers the bottom with his lip. He's gotta be at least a little insecure. I mean, look at that. Christ.

[Fred Hornkohl]

memo to game thread starters.............

 

at bat: ctcf (0-0) - Wed 11 May vs. San Diego (nite)

 

on deck: OleMissCub (0-0)

 

in the hold: Rondon Fan (0-0)

[Cubswin11]

Have all of our losses come vs teams at or below .500? I'm too lazy to look but I know the Rockies, D'Backs, Padres and Cardinals are all right around there. Then obviously the Braves and Reds are well below.

[Omar]

For some reason, I can kinda understand the brow, just because it's so weird and stigmatized. It doesn't surprise me that there is at least one celeb out there that decided to flaunt it. Bad teeth are just gross, though.

 

the first time i noticed his teeth i had actual nightmares

Haha, I had never really noticed his teeth before, and I was about to reply that his teeth don't even look that bad on Google, then I saw the bottom row.

 

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BiuAZTNIUAEiKfX.jpg

 

In almost every picture of him, you can only see the top row, because he covers the bottom with his lip. He's gotta be at least a little insecure. I mean, look at that. Christ.

 

Dental Plan, Lisa needs braces.

[Cubbie Swagger]

Have all of our losses come vs teams at or below .500? I'm too lazy to look but I know the Rockies, D'Backs, Padres and Cardinals are all right around there. Then obviously the Braves and Reds are well below.

A better question would be: how many teams have we played that were over .500?

[Sammy Sofa]

The starting pitchers look like the cast of Powder.

[squally1313]

Please spoiler that picture. Terrifying.

 

Lineup is out. Night off for Zobrist, Addy. Soler in left, batting 5th again, Baez and LaStella up the middle, Ross batting 8th.

[Vinestal]

Sounds like a shitty lineup.

[ctcf]

Drew Pomeranz Trying To Smile: A Brief Photographic Journey

 

Congrats, Drew you've been drafted by the Indians!

 

http://i.imgur.com/O9VWG8i.jpg?1

 

Ok Drew, try to be a little happy, it was the first round. Anyway, congrats you're a Rockie now!

 

http://cdn.fansided.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/113/files/2013/03/7065882.jpg

 

Ok to be honest, that's pretty, fair but you'll probably escape one day. Look you're an A now!

 

http://fullcount.weei.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/Pomeranz_Drew-Athletics-head-15.jpg

 

Is... Is that how you think people look when they smile, Drew?

 

http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/images/players/head_shot/519141.jpg

 

Well at least he tried... I think.

[Sammy Sofa]

Sounds like a [expletive] lineup.

 

It's impossible for this team to have a shitty lineup.

[Aaron_Kennelly]

Sounds like a [expletive] lineup.

 

It would look a lot better with Willson Contreras in it.