Clark the Cub Discussion Thread

[A New Era]

As Ricky Ricardo once said. AaaYAIyaiyaiYAI!!

[Sammy Sofa]

Finally, something that speaks to ME.

[UMFan83]

Generally, pantsless anthropomorphic animals pull off a certain sexlessness that keeps them from looking like voracious predators; Clark, with his shirtsie covering his allegedly sexless crotch, with his shoes only calling attention to his pantslessness, represents the threat that has always loomed behind the Cubs' seemingly friendly facade. With his arrival, Wrigley will now be known to of Midwesterners less as a green cathedral than as a house of nightmares through which a freakish, perverted bear will chase you, forever.

[rocket]

http://i.imgur.com/ch8LelA.jpg

 

it's almost as if they're begging redneck cardinal fans to photoshop this

[Guest]

Why is he Donald Ducking it?

[SouthSideRyan]

The bear-cub mascot will appear with more than a dozen Cubs prospects enrolled in the team's rookie development program, underway this week in Chicago.

 

Baez died or something and they're trying to distract us aren't they.

[BeerHere]

Generally, pantsless anthropomorphic animals pull off a certain sexlessness that keeps them from looking like voracious predators; Clark, with his shirtsie covering his allegedly sexless crotch, with his shoes only calling attention to his pantslessness, represents the threat that has always loomed behind the Cubs' seemingly friendly facade. With his arrival, Wrigley will now be known to of Midwesterners less as a green cathedral than as a house of nightmares through which a freakish, perverted bear will chase you, forever.

Seriously, people need to relax. It's a freaking mascot.

[Guest]

The bear-cub mascot will appear with more than a dozen Cubs prospects enrolled in the team's rookie development program, underway this week in Chicago.

 

Baez died or something and they're trying to distract us aren't they.

 

Hopefully Baez won't hold Soler back when he runs at Clark, wielding a bat.

[Sammy Sofa]

Why is he Donald Ducking it?

 

Animals look weird in pants.

 

They do not, however, look weird wearing hats or holding bats.

 

I don't know, I don't write these rules.

[SouthSideRyan]

Most of the time, Clark will welcome fans to his own clubhouse at Wrigley Field, where families can visit. Fans also will be able to interact with Clark on Twitter and Facebook.

 

If http://images.travelpod.com/tw_slides/ta00/de1/252/cubs-clubhouse-chicago.jpg is the Cubs players' clubhouse, what is his, the handicap stall in the upperdeck?

[UMFan83]

Generally, pantsless anthropomorphic animals pull off a certain sexlessness that keeps them from looking like voracious predators; Clark, with his shirtsie covering his allegedly sexless crotch, with his shoes only calling attention to his pantslessness, represents the threat that has always loomed behind the Cubs' seemingly friendly facade. With his arrival, Wrigley will now be known to of Midwesterners less as a green cathedral than as a house of nightmares through which a freakish, perverted bear will chase you, forever.

Seriously, people need to relax. It's a freaking mascot.

 

It's from Deadspin, I doubt they are taking this too seriously.

[imb]

you serious, clark?

[Sammy Sofa]

Most of the time, Clark will welcome fans to his own clubhouse at Wrigley Field, where families can visit. Fans also will be able to interact with Clark on Twitter and Facebook.

 

If http://images.travelpod.com/tw_slides/ta00/de1/252/cubs-clubhouse-chicago.jpg is the Cubs players' clubhouse, what is his, the handicap stall in the upperdeck?

 

A poop encrusted batting cage weighed down with rusted beer kegs.

[Bruno7481]

They can't even has his hat on right? Come on, Ricketts! Seeing Kaepernick doing it this weekend was enough, now this?

 

Does Clark have any tats?

[rocket]

as a compromise with the city maybe ricketts agreed to keep the cubs clubhouse the same but build a state of the art locker room for the mascot

[jersey cubs fan]

My urge to hate everything this ownership does is being pitted against my hatred of people who think arbitrary lines in the sand for their sports team are some kind of moral crusade.

yep

[jersey cubs fan]

<-- is indifferent

yep

[UMFan83]

Deadspin's comments are gold.

[jersey cubs fan]

That Bears that wipes his ass on Soldier Field hasn't affected the Bears in anyway.

 

 

Don't care.

[davell]

Somewhere, in a crowded room of suits, Crane's focus has turned from TV deals to wondering if Clark's first tweet should be deleted. It failed to get over with the fans. Is it a crushing blow? Can it be salvaged? Is a deletion an admission of automatic defeat? If so, does Theo need to be consulted? Will an admission of defeat affect Javy's progress? What does it say if we give up immediately for The Cubs Way?

 

Can an actual Cub comprehend the idea of tweeting? Was it realistic, in the attempt at tweeting? How much progress can a Cub actually show, in regards to working the Internet? Too much, too soon, perhaps?

 

Personally, I think the idea was a grand one, that ultimately has yet to play out. I think, deep down, we all want to believe in a super intelligent, clothes wearing Cub that rules the Internet. As is everything pertaining to the Cubs, the only option is to take a wait and see approach. And hope that he's learned letters and has figured out to use a pen to compensate for his paws around the time the Cubs youngsters come into THEIR own. Not only are we in the business of selling a baseball teams future. We're now bound to a [expletive] pantsless cub, intent on mastering the Internet. I'm riveted.

[NOLA]

My urge to hate everything this ownership does is being pitted against my hatred of people who think arbitrary lines in the sand for their sports team are some kind of moral crusade.

 

It isn't some moral crusade. It's just that mascots are [expletive] stupid and now we have one too.

[treebird]

clark the cubs is trending on twitter.

[SouthSideRyan]

God, angry davell is like angry bukie and angry TT all rolled into one

[Sammy Sofa]

you serious, clark?

 

I think you're all fucked in the head. We're 2 years from the [expletive] wave of prospects and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something; this is no longer a rebuild...it's a quest. It's a quest for fun. You're gonna have fun, and I'm gonna have fun... We're all gonna have so much [expletive] fun we're gonna need plastic surgery to remove our [expletive] smiles! You'll be whistling "Go Cubs Go" out of your assholes! I must be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a bear! Praise Clark Cub! Holy [expletive]!

 

We watch his games...we buy his jerseys, we go to his crappy park... he owes us! Doesn't he owe us, huh?!? He owes the fans, right? [expletive]-A right he owes us!

[jersey cubs fan]

Sorry folks, parks closed. Clark out front should have told you.