Dexter Fowler's Revenge Tour

[Aaron_Kennelly]

So Dexter currently has a .590 OBP and leads the majors in fWAR at 0.9. And, with the Schwarber injury, his decision to come back seems to be working out pretty damn well for all concerned parties. But, Dexter is angry, and his Revenge Tour has only just begun. He is full of spite and will not stop inflicting pain until he has humiliated and annihilated every team that passed him by this winter. Not a vestige will remain of the once proud franchises of the National League.

 

We know that Vengeful Dexter is pernicious. But, how did this all happen? Where did it all begin? Let's flash back to a cold day in February.

 

Dexter is sitting in a hotel room in Baltimore, ready for the long, cold winter to end. Suddenly, the phone rings. Dexter is unaware of who might be calling him in a hotel room in Baltimore, but he reluctantly picks up.

 

"Hi, is this Dexter Fowler?"

"Yeah."

"The Dexter Fowler that played center field for the Chicago Cubs last year?"

"Uh... yeah. Who is this?"

"This is Theo Epstein, President of Baseball Operations for the Chicago Cubs."

"Um, hey, Theo. How's it going?"

"Not bad, Dexter. I am just hanging out in Arizona right now, and I hear things aren't going very well for ya."

"Yeah."

"So, Dexter, I've been thinking, and I'd love to have you back on the team again this year."

"That's great. I'd love to come back."

"Also, I just wanted to say I am sorry that I haven't been in contact with you all winter. I should have called you sooner."

"Yeah, sure. Don't worry about it. It's no problem."

"OK, well, I'll see you when you get down to Arizona."

"Alright, bye."

 

Dexter hangs up the phone, relieved. Finally, he can cross one thing off his off-season to-do list.

http://i.imgur.com/A6V7wJ2.jpg

[Aaron_Kennelly]

And, yes, Theo is glad he called that guy.

[Sammy Sofa]

I'd rather he learns to hit more Bryzzo-type fly balls.

[minnesotacubsfan]

Needs more ms paint

[CubinNY]

He needs to pass the great secret of hitting more fly balls onto Heyward. I understand that with great power comes great responsibility. He won't just hand away that knowledge. Still, circumstance calls for it!

Dexter has been working with Barry Bonds for two off-seasons.

[Aaron_Kennelly]

He needs to pass the great secret of hitting more fly balls onto Heyward. I understand that with great power comes great responsibility. He won't just hand away that knowledge. Still, circumstance calls for it!

Dexter has been working with Barry Bonds for two off-seasons.

 

It should be noted that Bonds once went an entire season with an OBP of .609. Absurd.

[Derwood]

He needs to pass the great secret of hitting more fly balls onto Heyward. I understand that with great power comes great responsibility. He won't just hand away that knowledge. Still, circumstance calls for it!

Dexter has been working with Barry Bonds for two off-seasons.

 

It should be noted that Bonds once went an entire season with an OBP of .609. Absurd.

 

To be fair, he did that from home five years after he retired

[BigSlick]

Bonds being blacklisted out of the league (in an act of likely illegal collusion by the owners) really made us all lose out on the chance on seeing a 45 year old OBP .450 and embarrass everyone else.

 

I would have taken him on any team, even if only as a part time pinch hitter, DH role

[Transmogrified Tiger]

Dexter Fowler, who as you recall was available to any team for a few dollars after the start of spring training, currently leads the majors in fWAR as we approach the 10% mark of the season.

[Aaron_Kennelly]

Dexter Fowler, who as you recall was available to any team for a few dollars after the start of spring training, currently leads the majors in fWAR as we approach the 10% mark of the season.

 

I demand that ESPN also cut into games to show Fowler at bats, until Harper passes him in WAR.

[ConstableRabbit]

Dexter Fowler, who as you recall was available to any team for a few dollars after the start of spring training, currently leads the majors in fWAR as we approach the 10% mark of the season.

"Y'all thought it was over, motherfuckers."

- Theo Epstein

[The SABR Gamer]

Wasn't that "Y'all thought this show was over motherfuckers!" - Dexter Fowler? Or are you making fun of the people who actually thought that was Theo?

[David]

Wasn't that "Y'all thought this show was over [expletive]!" - Dexter Fowler? Or are you making fun of the people who actually thought that was Theo?

 

That is what he is doing, yes.

[David]

DMX is one of the few examples of artists musically I look back on that I liked at any point in my life and I wonder what the hell I was thinking/doing and I never even re-listen to for nostalgia reasons.

[imb]

Dex gon give it to ya, he gon give it to ya. Dex gon deliver to ya. BARK BARK

 

Wouldn't it be the coolest beans if that was his walk up music? A little urban and intimidating, but also catchy too!

 

well thats one way to put it

[sneakypower]

[Ding Dong Johnson]

[Aaron_Kennelly]

Fangraphs has updated their fWAR calculations today. Until today, UZR wasn't being shown. And I think for their fWAR defensive component, they were just using league average defense for every player. Well, according to UZR, Dexter has been worth 3 runs defensively already.

 

So he's now at 1.5 fWAR on the year already.

 

http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/George-Costanza-Squirts-Ketchup-at-Table-Seinfeld.gif

 

FWIW, DRS also has liked Dexter's defense so far, giving him 2 runs saved.

 

 

And as a team, we rank 1st in DRS and 2nd in UZR. So, yeah, we are just good at everything.

[Aaron_Kennelly]

Oh and we also rank 1st in BsR. So, basically, we can run, field, pitch, and hit better than everybody. So, that's pretty nice.

[Ding Dong Johnson]

[Little Slide Rooter]

We should be thankful that Dex happened upon an exceptionally strong free agent class last winter. Because had he been up against Josh Reddick (30,) Colby Rasmus (30,) and Carlos Gomez (31) instead of Jason Heyward (26,) Justin Upton (28,) and Yesonis Cespedes (29,) he wouldn't have fallen back into our laps.

[sneakypower]

Fangraphs has updated their fWAR calculations today. Until today, UZR wasn't being shown. And I think for their fWAR defensive component, they were just using league average defense for every player. Well, according to UZR, Dexter has been worth 3 runs defensively already.

 

So he's now at 1.5 fWAR on the year already.

 

http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/George-Costanza-Squirts-Ketchup-at-Table-Seinfeld.gif

 

FWIW, DRS also has liked Dexter's defense so far, giving him 2 runs saved.

 

 

And as a team, we rank 1st in DRS and 2nd in UZR. So, yeah, we are just good at everything.

updated ZiPS has him projected for a better season than everybody on the team but Bryant

[BrockLanders]

Classy move by Dexter, leading baseball in fWAR to make up for destroying Schwarber.

[treebird]

Classy move by Dexter, leading baseball in fWAR to make up for destroying Schwarber.

 

he's gotta be doublegood for the both of em

[Banedon]

Classy move by Dexter, leading baseball in fWAR to make up for destroying Schwarber.

 

he's gotta be doublegood for the both of em

 

I keep wanting to holler at Dexter not to swing for the fences so much, but he's the only one hitting consistently, so screw it. Hit it hard, Dex!