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FJM to come back... for a day.

Brian

By Brian,
in General Baseball Talk

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  • 5 weeks later...
Sammy Sofa GOAT

Sammy Sofa

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted

http://deadspin.com/5360379/the-utterance-of-this-word-should-be-punishable-by-death

 

I miss FJM so much.

 

Whether it's diving for out of reach grounders, running hard to first every time they make contact, or fearlessly tracking down flies headed straight toward the fence, these players make the most out of their time on the field.

 

Actual good players, meanwhile, are too busy jogging around the bases after hitting home runs. No truly scrappy player has ever hit a home run. No, the quintessential scrappy move is to refuse to accept the run and to sprint to first base, slide head first, and punch the first baseman in the knee (leaping in the air and punching upwards if necessary).

 

Although grinders usually go somewhat unnoticed not being as flashy and naturally talented as some of their teammates, these guys will always have a place in my heart.

 

"Scrappy" and "grinders" in one article! So good to be back. Also, I love the self-congratulatory tone of every article about scrap: "Hey man, no one notices these guys, but I do. I look deep into the game. Have you heard of this guy David Eckstein? He has the heart of a hummingbird and the hands of a six-week-old fetus, and HE SUCKS AT BASEBALL. I love him more than life itself."

Little Slide Rooter MVP

Little Slide Rooter

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted

This is my favorite part of the above article

 

I found this on Eric Byrnes' Wikipedia page. This is not a joke. "He is also known for sliding headfirst into bases when there is no play." If Eric Byrnes were a cop, it would say this on his Wikipedia page: "He is also known for discharging his weapon willy-nilly into seafood restaurants and school buses when there is no crime occurring."

 

Sammy Sofa GOAT

Sammy Sofa

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted
Still, there is a question as to whether the MVP award really means all that much to Derek Jeter. As he put it on Aug. 23 after the Yankees beat the Red Sox-a victory that Mr. Jeter paced by hitting a home run on the game's first pitch off Boston ace Josh Beckett-"I'm not thinking about winning any awards right now. The only award that matters is that fifth World Series ring."

 

Joe Mauer, meanwhile, issued a different statement to the press after going 2-4 with a walk against the Cleveland Indians. "[expletive] the World Series," said Mauer. "Seriously. Write that down. [expletive] the World Series. If I ever win a World Series ring, I will literally just take it and [expletive] the tiny ring-hole." Mauer punctuated his remarks with a graphic, thrusting pantomime, presumably of what he would physically do to the World Series ring. Mauer added: "I don't give a flying [expletive] about winning. I am an awards guy. I'm Joe [expletive] Mauer. I only care about individual honors. How many times do I have to tell you guys that? Mauer out, fuckfaces!" Mauer then urinated on a picture of Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett holding hands and stormed out of the clubhouse whistling a pro-al Qaeda anthem that he wrote himself earlier in the day.

 

Glorious.

laurens ACL Cubs

laurens

Verified Member
Posted
Posted
Let me tell you a story about David Eckstein. One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with Eckstein. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints. Other times there were one set of footprints. This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow, or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints. So I said to David Eckstein, "You promised me, Eckstein, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I noticed that during the most trying periods of my life, there have only been one set of prints in the sand. Why, when I have needed you most, have you not been there for me?" David Eckstein replied, "Because my little legs had gotten tired, and you were carrying me." And I looked down and saw that I was still carrying David Eckstein.

 

Then he grounded out weakly to second.

 

 

Oh my god I read this a quarter of an hour ago and I'm still laughing :lol:

Burtonbell First Round Pick

Burtonbell

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted
If you look up David Eckstein in the dictionary, by the time you get to the "D's," he's already sac bunted three times and run full-speed head-first into your chest while you were busy being an unscrappy nerd with your head stuck in a book.

 

Fantastic!

imb MVP

imb

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted

I was really sick of FJM by the time they retired. Maybe "sick" isn't the right word, but it seemed played out, like it was the same spiel over and over. Which it probably was and that's probably why they retired in the first place

 

But they're killing it today, really enjoying it a lot.

TruffleShuffle Cooperstown

TruffleShuffle

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted
I remember reading, in a like Ripley's Believe It Or Not! book I had when I was a kid, that a woman was once sucked out of a commercial airplane at 20,000 feet and fell to the ground and landed in some hay or something and lived. This would not make me feel awesome about my chances, were I ever sucked out of a commercial airliner at 20,000 feet. If I were sucked out of a commercial airliner at 20,000 feet, I would think: "Man oh man, Ken, are you f***ed."
Outshined_One Cooperstown

Outshined_One

Community Moderator
Posted
Posted

My favorite line of the day. Link

 

The MVP Award should go to the player whose leadership and value has contributed to his team's success more than any other individual. Jeter has been that player for the Yankees as they storm to another AL East title.

 

Derek Jeter is seventh in OPS. On his own team. He is eighth in HR. He is sixth on his team in doubles. Sixth! The guy who hits seventh on the Yankees has an .865 OPS (same as Jeter) and is hitting .319 and plays second base. The guy who hits eighth on the Yankees has 27 home runs. The Yankees have pinch-hitters who are better than anyone on the A's. The Yankees' line-up is looney-tunes. Also, they have some pitchers who are good.

 

The Twins, meanwhile, have Joe Mauer and fourteen guys who either are Nick Punto or look and play exactly like Nick Punto.

imb MVP

imb

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted

The Twins, meanwhile, have Joe Mauer and fourteen guys who either are Nick Punto or look and play exactly like Nick Punto.

 

Funny line, but it goes to show how underrated Justin Morneau, Jason Kubel and Michael Cuddyer are.

 

/facepalm

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