Wiping: Standing or Sitting?

[OleMissCub]

To my horror, I've recently discovered that there are people who stand to wipe their ass. You freaks come forth.

[NOLA]

http://img.pandawhale.com/110882-darkman-why-why-why-why-gif-Im-dExo.gif

[Ding Dong Johnson]

[Gilby]

Sitting is weird and gross and I don't understand it.

[Sammy Sofa]

[Thurman Merman]

Sitting is weird and gross and I don't understand it.

 

Its weird and gross to you precisely because you dont understand it. If you understood it, you wouldnt stand to wipe like a weirdo.

[Derwood]

When you sit, you are relaxed with full access. When you stand, doesn't your ass clench up and lock you out?

[Sammy Sofa]

http://jolt24.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/smoressmoosh.gif

[jersey cubs fan]

Magary strikes again

[Gilby]

I'd like to shake the hand of the other stander out there. Mostly because I know you didn't just scrape your hand on poo.

[jersey cubs fan]

I'd like to shake the hand of the other stander out there. Mostly because I know you didn't just scrape your hand on poo.

How would you scrape your hand on poo?

[jersey cubs fan]

My next house gets bidets

[Ding Dong Johnson]

I'd like to shake the hand of the other stander out there. Mostly because I know you didn't just scrape your hand on poo.

what the fresh horsefeathers is this now?

[philosophizer75]

I'll proudly admit I'm a stander and have been for practically as long as I remember.

 

That having been said, I'm husky/larger/fat and I honestly have no clue if that has affected my wiping protocol.

[philosophizer75]

I also think it's terrifically hysterical that I first saw this thread whilst on the toilet taking a glorious post 10-win streak dump. Just laying that out there.

[philosophizer75]

And to finish off my trifecta of odd posts with regards to lavatorial practices, isn't the human body designed to relieve itself better when squatting as opposed to sitting?

[OleMissCub]

And to finish off my trifecta of odd posts with regards to lavatorial practices, isn't the human body designed to relieve itself better when squatting as opposed to sitting?

 

Yes and the human body was also designed with asscheecks which close together when you stand, thus making your butthole harder to get to.

[davell]

I'd like to shake the hand of the other stander out there. Mostly because I know you didn't just scrape your hand on poo.

what the fresh [expletive] is this now?

 

I'm so confused. Are we all aware there's a thing called toilet paper? Poo on the hand? How? Why?

[Banedon]

http://i.imgur.com/PANdPch.gif

[Sammy Sofa]

This sounds like a job for Pile-on Pete!

 

[weis21]

I can't answer because to me the correct answer is both. it depends on the location. i wipe sitting at home but standing in a public bathroom. i don't want to risk my unit touching the inside of the toilet bowl in a public bathroom when i lean forward to wipe. at home i am satisfied with the sanitary conditions, of course.

[JonJayCutler]

The first few wipes, i.e. all of the messy work, should be done sitting down. However, you can only spread your legs so far sitting down. If you want to avoid ass gravy later, then the leverage obtained by standing up is necessary. In other words, it allows one to wipe deeper into said anus.

 

You're welcome.

[Ding Dong Johnson]

The first few wipes, i.e. all of the messy work, should be done sitting down. However, you can only spread your legs so far sitting down. If you want to avoid ass gravy later, then the leverage obtained by standing up is necessary. In other words, it allows one to wipe deeper into said anus.

 

You're welcome.

you may need to consult a physician if you are wiping that much

[JonJayCutler]

The first few wipes, i.e. all of the messy work, should be done sitting down. However, you can only spread your legs so far sitting down. If you want to avoid ass gravy later, then the leverage obtained by standing up is necessary. In other words, it allows one to wipe deeper into said anus.

 

You're welcome.

you may need to consult a physician if you are wiping that much

 

Nah, I just can't stand having anything residual. Like, not even a little bit. That's all it is.

[jersey cubs fan]

The first few wipes, i.e. all of the messy work, should be done sitting down. However, you can only spread your legs so far sitting down. If you want to avoid ass gravy later, then the leverage obtained by standing up is necessary. In other words, it allows one to wipe deeper into said anus.

 

You're welcome.

you may need to consult a physician if you are wiping that much

at least a dietitian