Have you ever pooped in a portapotty

[imb]

derwood is collecting poop data

[Derwood]

derwood is collecting poop data

 

Wasn't me this time

[OleMissCub]

So I think I have a pretty good portapotty story.

 

My brother and I were coming back from seeing an LSU-Ole Miss football game in Baton Rogue and were quite literally in the middle of nowhere. My brother just screams at me "oh my god! pull over!!" I guess he was going to just go in the woods on the side of the road, but when I pulled over, there was a construction site there with a portapotty. So he hauled ass over to it. Now this is in the pitch dark, mind you.

 

Anyways, so not long after he goes in, I hear him yelling for me. Apparently he didn't want to actually sit on a gross portapotty toilet so he rapidly pulled his pants down, squatted, and erupted. Unfortunately, in his haste and because it was pitch dark, he didn't realize the lid on the toilet was down and it all just blew back at him, filling up his pants that were pulled down and getting on his shirt. Just awful. And oh ya, there was no TP either. Thankfully we had stayed the previous night in Baton Rogue so he had an extra set of clothes he could put on. I've often thought about some poor construction worker opening that thing the next day. Yikes.

[XZero77]

Not since I saw season two, episode two of The X-Files.

[raw]

I voted "No", when the answer should have been yes. I didn't read the thread title (or the 1st post), I just read the poll question. And "pinched one off" sounds masturbatory so.........

[Cubbie Swagger]

Of course I have. What kind of question is that? How can a person go through life without ever being forced to horsefeathers in a porta-potty?

[Sammy Sofa]

Of course I have. What kind of question is that? How can a person go through life without ever being forced to [expletive] in a porta-potty?

 

Plenty of people are sensible enough to realize that the alternative of [expletive] outside of a porta-potty, no matter what the circumstances, is always the better choice.

[Cubbie Swagger]

Of course I have. What kind of question is that? How can a person go through life without ever being forced to [expletive] in a porta-potty?

 

Plenty of people are sensible enough to realize that the alternative of [expletive] outside of a porta-potty, no matter what the circumstances, is always the better choice.

I've never been at a sporting event, concert, etc. and thought to myself, "I'll just go take a squat behind that tree". I guess I'm just not sensible.

[Sammy Sofa]

Your odds of [expletive] on yourself (because, let's face it, most of the time you're trying to balance at some absurd angle so you don't touch anything) or, more importantly, getting someone else's horsefeathers on you are drastically reduced if you wisely choose to pop a squat outside of a porta-potty. Nature does not judge, and only welcomes.

[Thurman Merman]

I really wish they had more porta-potties around, because my bowels get way too loosened up during runs and I need to horsefeathers outside and wipe with leaves (or whatever I can find) way too often. Its way preferable to horsefeathers in a porta-potty than to pop a squat next to a church next to some evergreens and wipe your ass with whatever stick you can find. Its worth it for the TP alone.

[philosophizer75]

I remember many porta potties in my youth soccer days.

 

I had to take a horsefeathers in a porta-john on a super hot day, and it was like a miniature sweat lodge. I always called the feeling after doing that and going back outside where it felt like 15 degrees cooler outside afterwards the portapotty effect haha.

[Omar]

once. pensacola beach in florida. there was no other option around.

 

I had no idea it was just a pile of blue water in the toilet, i actually thought they flushed.

 

never again.

[Cubbie Swagger]

Nature does not judge, and only welcomes.

YES!

[JonJayCutler]

How about a urine-covered seat at Soldier Field? Same concept right?

 

Learn how to hover and how to hover well. Good workout for the hammies too.

 

Who just ups and takes a horsefeathers outside? Not that there's anything wrong with defecating in nature, but some people just don't like having gravy ass for the rest of the day. Grass or pine cones do not suffice.

[Tim]

How about a urine-covered seat at Soldier Field? Same concept right?

 

Learn how to hover and how to hover well. Good workout for the hammies too.

 

Who just ups and takes a [expletive] outside? Not that there's anything wrong with defecating in nature, but some people just don't like having gravy ass for the rest of the day. Grass or pine cones do not suffice.

You could always dedicate a sock to the cause.

[David]

I can count on my fingers the number of times (not counting our work bathroom) that I've pooped in a public toilet, period. It takes some dire circumstances for my body to even be capable of wanting/needing to.

[Cubbie Swagger]

I can count on my fingers the number of times (not counting our work bathroom) that I've pooped in a public toilet, period. It takes some dire circumstances for my body to even be capable of wanting/needing to.

That's rather remarkable. I literally took a horsefeathers in the Circle K bathroom this morning.

[David]

I can count on my fingers the number of times (not counting our work bathroom) that I've pooped in a public toilet, period. It takes some dire circumstances for my body to even be capable of wanting/needing to.

That's rather remarkable. I literally took a [expletive] in the Circle K bathroom this morning.

 

When I go on vacation, it takes me like 2 days before I can even take a horsefeathers in my own hotel room...and it's not that i'm grossed out in any way by my hotel room (although I am definitely grossed out by [expletive] on public toilets - and I hate cheap crappy toilet paper). Totally involuntary thing. So yeah, the urge rarely strikes me when I'm not either at work or home.

[UMFan83]

You guys are weird about public toilets. Or maybe I'm just used to having no choice as I have a sensitive stomach and find myself in dire need of a bathroom more often than most.

[Sammy Sofa]

Oh, hotels are fair game; no problem using those at all.

 

Hell, the lobby bathrooms of decent hotels are usually the oasis when it comes to public bathrooms.

[David]

Oh, hotels are fair game; no problem using those at all.

 

Hell, the lobby bathrooms of decent hotels are usually the oasis when it comes to public bathrooms.

 

Definitely have no issues using them nor am I grossed out by them in any way. My body just gets all jacked up when I'm out of town and I'm basically constipated for 24-48 hrs. Not a conscious decision in any way. From what I understand, this happens to lots of people.

 

I wonder if it's some sort of animal/territory instinct related thing

[Sammy Sofa]

You guys are weird about public toilets. Or maybe I'm just used to having no choice as I have a sensitive stomach and find myself in dire need of a bathroom more often than most.

 

You're the weirdo that has desensitized himself to it; public bathrooms are hideous most of the time. It's perfectly natural to be grossed out by them.

[UMFan83]

Oh, hotels are fair game; no problem using those at all.

 

Hell, the lobby bathrooms of decent hotels are usually the oasis when it comes to public bathrooms.

 

Definitely have no issues using them nor am I grossed out by them in any way. My body just gets all jacked up when I'm out of town and I'm basically constipated for 24-48 hrs. Not a conscious decision in any way. From what I understand, this happens to lots of people.

 

I wonder if it's some sort of animal/territory instinct related thing

 

This is only quasi-related but I read recently that when you sleep in a new place for the first time, your the left side of your brain remains partially alert to remain guarded. That's why a lot of people don't get quality sleep in a hotel, or at least the first night.

[David]

Oh, hotels are fair game; no problem using those at all.

 

Hell, the lobby bathrooms of decent hotels are usually the oasis when it comes to public bathrooms.

 

Definitely have no issues using them nor am I grossed out by them in any way. My body just gets all jacked up when I'm out of town and I'm basically constipated for 24-48 hrs. Not a conscious decision in any way. From what I understand, this happens to lots of people.

 

I wonder if it's some sort of animal/territory instinct related thing

 

This is only quasi-related but I read recently that when you sleep in a new place for the first time, your the left side of your brain remains partially alert to remain guarded. That's why a lot of people don't get quality sleep in a hotel, or at least the first night.

 

That's interesting. My friend is like that. I can pretty much crash anywhere, especially big comfy hotel beds.

[Sammy Sofa]

Oh, hotels are fair game; no problem using those at all.

 

Hell, the lobby bathrooms of decent hotels are usually the oasis when it comes to public bathrooms.

 

Definitely have no issues using them nor am I grossed out by them in any way. My body just gets all jacked up when I'm out of town and I'm basically constipated for 24-48 hrs. Not a conscious decision in any way. From what I understand, this happens to lots of people.

 

I wonder if it's some sort of animal/territory instinct related thing

 

The dreaded Truffle Syndrome.