John Danks is a terrible friend

[jersey cubs fan]

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-danks-sox-lawsuit-fall-20150529-story.html#page=1

 

Suddenly, Danks heard a "loud bang."

 

He looked away from his computer and saw his friend, 29-year-old Blake Papst, lying nearby on the wooden deck. Papst, who was standing on a roof above the deck with his brother, had fallen about 10 feet.

 

What followed immediately is in dispute but everyone is clear on one detail: An ambulance was not called. Instead, Danks and his two friends eventually went to sleep inside the condo, leaving Papst alone on the deck.

 

"He didn't act like he was very hurt," Danks later testified, according to court papers. "I mean, he almost acted like he got the wind knocked out of him more than anything."

 

But Papst was seriously injured; he has not walked again.

[Sammy Sofa]

What the what.

 

Somebody was a little high.

[Sammy Sofa]

Does this potentially count as a weird, sideways version of kidnapping?

[Derwood]

For my senior year at DePaul, my best friend and I lived in a top (fourth) floor apartment on Lawrence. Our back deck/fire escape had a trap door in the ceiling where you could boost up to the roof and admire the view.

 

We had a big party in October and one of our friends got obliterated. He decides to climb up there and manages not to fall off, but comes down pretty hard when getting back down to the deck. He rides his bike home (over a mile) and passes out in his apartment.

 

He wakes up the next morning with his ankle swollen to the size of a grapefruit. He managed to break his ankle when he landed, then rode home on it.

 

At least we didn't ignore him (and he can still walk)

[PackLandVA]

John Danks is also a terrible starting pitcher most of the time.

[Guest]

"I'm going to sleep, dude, you can stay out here slithering around on the deck all night, though."