i assume that person who took on the herculean task of eating like twenty mozzarella sticks over eight hours is dead by now anyway If there's any justice in this cruel world.
Personally, I want him to stack up pretty favorably against the best of our losers. My ultimate preference is 2 of Scherzer, Lester, Maeda, and Shields. I have a soft spot for Liriano and McCarthy, but even that's iffy to me.