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Sammy Sofa

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Everything posted by Sammy Sofa

  1. Sammy Sofa
    Kyle and Sofa, Sofa and Kyle - one and the same? We are both stealing the “doink broke Nagy” bit from deadspin It's like this whole thing has played out like I wrote it just to entertain me. The guy sounds like he's possibly already in the throes of a Howard Hughes-esque breakdown and I am HERE FOR IT.
  2. Sammy Sofa
    I assume Kyle is still technically a fan of the Bears. I long ago graduated to simply relishing in how delightfully predictable they are at being such a middling at best franchise that ultimately, hilariously, sucks at almost literally everything football-related. horsefeathers like the ongoing, so obviously inevitable Trubisky deabcle, Staley's reaction to the missed field goal, and Virginia McCaskey's Cryptkeeper-like grip on this team that is going leave it forever cursed to be the preciousssssssssssss of her terrible, terrible family are all good, good horsefeathers you might as well inject right into my horsefeathering veins with the way the fanbase and the local sports media laps up EVERYTHING about them like they're this storied, well-respected franchise. And now that the Cubs are back to sucking again? GIVE IT ALL TO ME, MORE, MORE. The only downside is I won't get to see sulley's meltdown as it all happens yet again, as it always does. It's going to be a serious race to see whether Bears fans or Browns fans bring us the most joy this season.
  3. Sammy Sofa
    From afar, I am feasting on how this Nagy dude is clearly a completely shattered human being after DOINK DOINK-gate. Classic Bears.
  4. Sammy Sofa
    When you tweak it just a bit to say, "the Cubs added a hitter who has had one of the most unbelievable months of hitting in history, and only lost like 6 games in the standings," it seems much more reasonable, since they suck.
  5. Sammy Sofa
    Plot Twist: his name is Actually Nico Newyorkdongslicer.
  6. Sammy Sofa
    [tweet]https://twitter.com/FugaziTruther/status/1170897732673908738[/tweet]
  7. Sammy Sofa
    I'll bet $1000 of Derwood's money that Costas has mentioned the cat MAYBE once since the horsefeathering WS.
  8. Sammy Sofa
    I do desperately want him to make it just for that sweet, sweet name alone.
  9. Sammy Sofa
    http://pa1.narvii.com/6477/8b28e9c0714da76a31dac33a417d34b8e7bb3cb5_hq.gif
  10. Sammy Sofa
    Me way back when Starlin first showed up: Me dealing with Nico today:
  11. Sammy Sofa
    Agreed. It would make more sense coming from an organization, like, say, the Cubs.
  12. Sammy Sofa
    Almost nobody ever brings up the horsefeathering black cat. Thinking it's dumb to show local food is dumb, and inexplicably acting like it's even in the same ballpark as how bonkers it is for a broadcast to be going on about horsefeathering voodoo and witch doctors when talking about New Orleans is one of the craziest damn leaps I've ever seen here. The L is cool and good, it's cool it goes right by the park, and only complete dorks call it the "El."
  13. Sammy Sofa
    Can we have a national Cubs broadcast without hotdogs, black cats or El trains Oooooof.
  14. Sammy Sofa
    "Mysteriously."
  15. Sammy Sofa
    My convoluted Cubs trade for Lindor plan just took it's first big step forward with Nico doing his thing tonight.
  16. Sammy Sofa
    The hero we need. I updated the list accordingly; we'll just move forward from your sport, so forgotmyoldlogin will be up next after this inevitable multi-game win streak.
  17. Sammy Sofa
    Not sign of jersey. Cubswin11 and Tman are next up.
  18. Sammy Sofa
    jersey, welcome back to the nightmare.
  19. Sammy Sofa
    Start the next one.
  20. Sammy Sofa
    Bird, go.
  21. Sammy Sofa
    Barring the juiciness continuing, Heyward IS a already a hole to fill. The dude got a reprieve from his declining defensive value because of the power boost. Work out ye olde swap a bad long term contract for a bad short term contract that's more expensive per year and be done with it. horsefeathers the Ricketteseseseseseses' money. Either you get rid of him or relegate him as a 4th OFer.
  22. Sammy Sofa
    Good luck with that plan. Yes, if only we could find other examples of teams doing what needs to be done to dump bad long term contracts. SURELY IT HAS NEVER HAPPENED.
  23. Sammy Sofa
    This is underselling his approach. He's cut his Ks again, walks a ton, and is hitting with more power...Without looking at anything else those are breakout ingredients Yeah, dude is hitting for the whole package right now. Not to harp on Heyward (well, no; let's harp on him), but THERE'S the guy clearly benefiting from the juiced ball and absolutely nothing else.
  24. Sammy Sofa
    Like, why would anyone look at the Cubs OF and think that signing a guy like Castellanos should lead to them getting rid of Schwarber instead of getting rid of Heyward by any means necessary?
  25. Sammy Sofa
    My point is that while he's great at what he does (mash HRs against RH pitching), he has many flaws - lefties, defense, etc. "Besides him being good at hitting the prevelant type of pitcher in the game, he's simply not that good, you guys." And Castellanos is HUGELY worse defensively. And, since you brought up the PH nonsense, as a PH he has a .250 .294 .313 .607 line.
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