Wiping: Standing or Sitting?

[David]

Shoulders too wide and arms too short, I have to sit. Worse yet, somehow I go back to front. It's just the way I learned, don't hate me.

 

gotta go both ways. i discovered this at some point in my teens when i had the epiphany that i should try a back to front wipe after the last front to back wipe checked out clean...i dont know exactly wtf is going on down there but it suddenly dawned on me that i had been leaving my ass dirty my whole life up to that point. just because it's clean in one direction doesn't mean it is in both. always start front to back tho so i'm not wiping the heavier stuff into my balls at the beginning.

[jersey cubs fan]

Teenage David sounds like a real go getter

 

http://ib.huluim.com/show_key_art/20971?size=1600x600&region=US

[Sammy Sofa]

Teenage David sounds like a real go getter

 

http://i.giphy.com/m1bIfPcVdEAqQ.gif

[David]

i cant even believe i shared that on here but, horsefeathers, this is a three page thread about ass wiping

[weis21]

i cant even believe...this is a three page thread about ass wiping

[NOLA]

I stand. It's how I was taught as a child and I never stopped ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

Truth be told, I had no idea people wiped when they sat down until I saw this scene in Rules of Attraction:

 

 

such a great movie.

At that moment in time, she was the hottest girl on the planet. To me anyway.

[Thusly Boned]

I find it almost incomprehensible that people wipe their asses while standing. Why would one do that? To make the entire process as difficult as possible? Do these savages also clench for added challenge?

[OleMissCub]

Do these savages also clench for added challenge?

 

:lol: :lol:

[JonJayCutler]

I find it almost incomprehensible that people wipe their asses while standing. Why would one do that? To make the entire process as difficult as possible? Do these savages also clench for added challenge?

 

It's not more difficult. It's not like you stand there horsefeathering knock-kneed and wipe. One normally hikes a leg up on the toilet seat, hardly rocket science.

 

But perhaps the biggest, most underrated perk of standing is not having to worry about scraping your dong on the front of the bowl when reaching back to wipe, obviously a huge problem if in public.

[Banedon]

One normally hikes a leg up on the toilet seat, hardly rocket science.

 

http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/482660/Captain_Keyshawn_Jason_POSE.jpg

[Sammy Sofa]

One normally hikes a leg up on the toilet seat, hardly rocket science.

 

What in holy horsefeathers.

[OleMissCub]

One normally hikes a leg up on the toilet seat, hardly rocket science.

 

What in holy [expletive].

 

This standing to wipe thing gets even weirder

[JudasIscariotTheBird]

This thread is possibly the best thing on the internet.

[Thurman Merman]

I find it almost incomprehensible that people wipe their asses while standing. Why would one do that? To make the entire process as difficult as possible? Do these savages also clench for added challenge?

 

It's not more difficult. It's not like you stand there [expletive] knock-kneed and wipe. One normally hikes a leg up on the toilet seat, hardly rocket science.

 

But perhaps the biggest, most underrated perk of standing is not having to worry about scraping your dong on the front of the bowl when reaching back to wipe, obviously a huge problem if in public.

 

So you are putting your dirty shoes that have been walking on bathroom floors up on my toilet seat?

[philosophizer75]

I mean, if you were to wash your buttcrack in the shower with a bar of soap or a washcloth, you wouldn't sit down to do it, right?

[Ding Dong Johnson]

http://p.fod4.com/p/media/5c597eb60b/3BrF1dm8TlS6j0ZA4znr_Confused%20George%20Clooney.gif

[Sammy Sofa]

This feels like a glimpse into what true madness must feel like.

[JonJayCutler]

So you are putting your dirty shoes that have been walking on bathroom floors up on my toilet seat?

 

Because sweaty ass, piss, and horsefeathers are so much cleaner? Even if a toilet seat appears clean/dry, it means absolutely nothing.

 

There is no "my" seat about it. One takes a risk every time they use a public toilet.

[Thurman Merman]

So you are putting your dirty shoes that have been walking on bathroom floors up on my toilet seat?

 

Because sweaty ass, piss, and [expletive] are so much cleaner? Even if a toilet seat appears clean/dry, it means absolutely nothing.

 

There is no "my" seat about it. One takes a risk every time they use a public toilet.

 

All kidding aside, Im going to try this standing up to wipe thing and see how it goes. Ill report back with the results.

[David]

So you are putting your dirty shoes that have been walking on bathroom floors up on my toilet seat?

 

Because sweaty ass, piss, and [expletive] are so much cleaner? Even if a toilet seat appears clean/dry, it means absolutely nothing.

 

There is no "my" seat about it. One takes a risk every time they use a public toilet.

 

What's the risk (and this is coming from someone super unwilling to take dumps on public toilets - while realizing how mostly irrational it is)? Herpes? Is that like getting it from a tractor?

[Sammy Sofa]

People who have to horsefeathers regularly in public toilets are usually animals to begin with; you'd think they wouldn't be so fussy about the surroundings given the absolute mess of guts their bodies apparently are.

[Sammy Sofa]

So you are putting your dirty shoes that have been walking on bathroom floors up on my toilet seat?

 

Because sweaty ass, piss, and [expletive] are so much cleaner? Even if a toilet seat appears clean/dry, it means absolutely nothing.

 

There is no "my" seat about it. One takes a risk every time they use a public toilet.

 

What's the risk (and this is coming from someone super unwilling to take dumps on public toilets - while realizing how mostly irrational it is)? Herpes? Is that like getting it from a tractor?

 

Nice.

 

Though I would hope everyone is unwilling to dump ON a toilet, public or otherwise.

[Ding Dong Johnson]

I wonder if there's a gaggle of women somewhere out there having a similar conversation...

[David]

of the many (unfair) advantages men have in this society, not having to sit (or squat over) public toilets every time we have to pee is one of the biggest.

[Derwood]

People who have to [expletive] regularly in public toilets are usually animals to begin with; you'd think they wouldn't be so fussy about the surroundings given the absolute mess of guts their bodies apparently are.

 

Some of us work in places that only have public toilets