Rio Olympics disaster watch

[Banedon]

[Sammy Sofa]

Granted, I haven't watched a ton of Olympics in the past, but this one seems be to pretty strikingly asstastic in terms of all of the butts on display. It's kinda hilarious to look up at the dozen or so huge monitors and TV's on the walls in my office and just seeing closeups of amazing hinders in HD pretty much all day.

[mul21]

Granted, I haven't watched a ton of Olympics in the past, but this one seems be to pretty strikingly asstastic in terms of all of the butts on display. It's kinda hilarious to look up at the dozen or so huge monitors and TV's on the walls in my office and just seeing closeups of amazing hinders in HD pretty much all day.

 

I'm laughing my ass off at your prose here.

 

Also, god bless women's beach volleyball.

[philosophizer75]

My vote is for regular indoor volleyball. Call me weird if you want, but I prefer the spandex short shorts look.

[jersey cubs fan]

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Attributable to Patrick Sandusky, Chief External Affairs Officer, United States Olympic Committee:

 

“Local police arrived at the Olympic Village this a.m. and asked to meet with Ryan Lochte and James Feigen and collect their passports in order to secure further testimony from the athletes. The swim team moved out of the village after their competition ended, so we were not able to make the athletes available.

 

Additionally, as part of our standard security protocol, we do not make athlete travel plans public and therefore cannot confirm the athletes’ current location.

 

We will continue to cooperate with Brazilian authorities.”

[Banedon]

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Attributable to Patrick Sandusky, Chief External Affairs Officer, United States Olympic Committee:

 

“Local police arrived at the Olympic Village this a.m. and asked to meet with Ryan Lochte and James Feigen and collect their passports in order to secure further testimony from the athletes. The swim team moved out of the village after their competition ended, so we were not able to make the athletes available.

 

Additionally, as part of our standard security protocol, we do not make athlete travel plans public and therefore cannot confirm the athletes’ current location.

 

We will continue to cooperate with Brazilian authorities.”

 

I'd read elsewhere that Lochte was already back in the US.

[Liam Neeson]

[Guest]

A lot of us just don't care. It's really fun to watch. Armstrong was an ass who lead a sport only dorks care about.

 

people care about cycling once a year, people care about track and field once every four years. lance armstrong is a bad guy because he built an empire on performance enhancing drugs. he was the most inspirational story ever until he got caught. Bolt may get caught, but it's hard to track down the truth in a third-world country, I'm sure.

 

I dont know what to tell you; the only thing I care about less than whether an athlete is using PED's or not is whether track or bicycling is more popular. And I was one of the cool kids that thought Armstrong seemed like an obnoxious dick when he "was the most inspirational story ever." He was a hyper-competitive, mildly sociopathic ass loathed by his teammates and everyone else in the sport, and not in a good way like prime Jordan or Tiger. Bolt is a likable guy clearly having a blast and he provides bite-sized moments of amazingness and then he goes away and I don't have to see his stupid bracelets and books and everything else like stupid Armstrong.

 

Just admit that you didnt know where to get those bracelets and felt left out at first, and then you saw assholes wearing them and you were like "yep, i knew those things were for assholes."

[Guest]

i guess I'm just a broken cynic in this regard, but i generally just assume everyone at the top is cheating and probably lots of other people too. bolt is that much faster than everyone else naturally? surrrrre. katie ledecky wins all her races by 15 seconds without cheating? likely story.

 

If lots of other people are cheating too, how come they're getting beaten so badly?

 

I don't know, their countries haven't institutionalized cheating? Come on, Jamaica is so dirty, Johan Blake is the only other human to break 9.7. This is Jamaica.

[Sammy Sofa]

Sulley's all about valiant Latin American and Caribbean struggles against the yoke of capitalist imperialism, except when it comes to shiny medals for doing things fast.

[Sammy Sofa]

 

people care about cycling once a year, people care about track and field once every four years. lance armstrong is a bad guy because he built an empire on performance enhancing drugs. he was the most inspirational story ever until he got caught. Bolt may get caught, but it's hard to track down the truth in a third-world country, I'm sure.

 

I dont know what to tell you; the only thing I care about less than whether an athlete is using PED's or not is whether track or bicycling is more popular. And I was one of the cool kids that thought Armstrong seemed like an obnoxious dick when he "was the most inspirational story ever." He was a hyper-competitive, mildly sociopathic ass loathed by his teammates and everyone else in the sport, and not in a good way like prime Jordan or Tiger. Bolt is a likable guy clearly having a blast and he provides bite-sized moments of amazingness and then he goes away and I don't have to see his stupid bracelets and books and everything else like stupid Armstrong.

 

Just admit that you didnt know where to get those bracelets and felt left out at first, and then you saw [expletive] wearing them and you were like "yep, i knew those things were for [expletive]."

 

You were totally the shattered "IT'S STILL REAL TO ME, DAMMIT"-guy of Lance Armstrong-ing, weren't you?

[Guest]

 

I dont know what to tell you; the only thing I care about less than whether an athlete is using PED's or not is whether track or bicycling is more popular. And I was one of the cool kids that thought Armstrong seemed like an obnoxious dick when he "was the most inspirational story ever." He was a hyper-competitive, mildly sociopathic ass loathed by his teammates and everyone else in the sport, and not in a good way like prime Jordan or Tiger. Bolt is a likable guy clearly having a blast and he provides bite-sized moments of amazingness and then he goes away and I don't have to see his stupid bracelets and books and everything else like stupid Armstrong.

 

Just admit that you didnt know where to get those bracelets and felt left out at first, and then you saw [expletive] wearing them and you were like "yep, i knew those things were for [expletive]."

 

You were totally the shattered "IT'S STILL REAL TO ME, DAMMIT"-guy of Lance Armstrong-ing, weren't you?

 

jeez lisa, lighten up.

 

I hate Lance Armstrong, he's scum for what he did. but I thought his accomplishments were amazing at the time.

[Guest]

Sulley's all about valiant Latin American and Caribbean struggles against the yoke of capitalist imperialism, except when it comes to shiny medals for doing things fast.

 

those athletes are the opium of the people.

[Sammy Sofa]

jeez lisa, lighten up.

 

Uhmmmm, says the guy acting like the Goose Gossage of PED awesomeness.

 

And everything fun is the opium of the masses to you. The sooner you accept our new, super fast Jamaican overlords and quit pining for Lance Armstrong to lower taxes, brutalize criminals and rule you like a king, the better.

[Guest]

jeez lisa, lighten up.

 

Uhmmmm, says the guy acting like the Goose Gossage of PED awesomeness.

 

And everything fun is the opium of the masses to you. The sooner you accept our new, super fast Jamaican overlords and quit pining for Lance Armstrong to lower taxes, brutalize criminals and rule you like a king, the better.

 

I, for one, welcome them.

 

And again, i hate lance armstrong.

[Guest]

Let's play a fun game.

 

What actually happened to Ryan Lochte?

[Banedon]

Let's play a fun game.

 

What actually happened to Ryan Lochte?

 

What motivation would he have to make anything up?

 

Rio cops being incompetent to actually investigate a crime seems much more plausible.

[Sammy Sofa]

Tried to buy drugs and/or hookers and got ripped off or "lost" his wallet and made up a story that sounds like he watched Boondock Saints too much like the douchebro he is. His whole bit about the thief (either THE thief, or one of several, depending on who is telling the story, natch) putting a gun to his head and cocking it (and him going, "whatever") is such a hilariously and obviously made up detail.

[Banedon]

I could buy that he embellished it.

[Sammy Sofa]

He was totally trying to do some blow off of some big ol' Brazilian butts. Let's remember who we're talking about here.

[Guest]

:beg:

Tried to buy drugs and/or hookers and got ripped off or "lost" his wallet and made up a story that sounds like he watched Boondock Saints too much like the douchebro he is. His whole bit about the thief (either THE thief, or one of several, depending on who is telling the story, natch) putting a gun to his head and cocking it (and him going, "whatever") is such a hilariously and obviously made up detail.

 

This is xactly what i'm looking for.

[Guest]

Maybe the hooker was a dude.

[Guest]

It would be funny if he lost his gold medal at a cockfight some tranny hooker brought him to, and he told everyone some Puerto Rican guy stole it.

[Transmogrified Tiger]

Weren't there like 6 swimmers there for the incident? Not that other swimmers can't be into [thing that would be hilarious if Lochte was doing], but I thought Lochte got most of the press because of his name, and not because he was the only one there.

[Guest]

Lochte is probably issuing threats against their families to ensure their compliance.