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David

By David,
in Other Sports

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mul21 Myrtle Beach Pelicans

mul21

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted

How is a person who is this bad at the English language getting a paycheck from a newspaper?

 

[tweet]

[/tweet]
Sammy Sofa GOAT

Sammy Sofa

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted

Magary collected a bunch of Romo hot takes in honor of Tony's retirement, and Bill Simmons' is just astonishingly bad:

 

If we’ve learned one thing over the years, it’s that you can’t predict the behavior of someone who has gone unequivocally insane — whether it’s an athlete, a celebrity, a dog with rabies, a female who has passed two or more babies out of her body or, yes, an entire National Football League season.

 

Tony Romo dumped Jessica Simpson for either partying too much (the rumored reason) or gaining too much weight (the real reason, or at least the one I’d wager on in Vegas), followed by Simpson partying even more and gaining even more weight. We might have a new Kirstie Alley on our hands; poor Jess suddenly is built like Kirby Puckett with breasts. (Not that this is a bad thing. I’m actually attracted to Zaftig Clingy No Self-Esteem Jess, my single strangest celebrity attraction since Renee Zellweger put on her Bridget Jones weight.) Did you ever think an NFL offseason could shape about 20 future Us Weekly covers? It’s happened, my friends. Sneaky weird.
treebird All-Star

treebird

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted
Magary collected a bunch of Romo hot takes in honor of Tony's retirement, and Bill Simmons' is just astonishingly bad:

 

If we’ve learned one thing over the years, it’s that you can’t predict the behavior of someone who has gone unequivocally insane — whether it’s an athlete, a celebrity, a dog with rabies, a female who has passed two or more babies out of her body or, yes, an entire National Football League season.

 

Tony Romo dumped Jessica Simpson for either partying too much (the rumored reason) or gaining too much weight (the real reason, or at least the one I’d wager on in Vegas), followed by Simpson partying even more and gaining even more weight. We might have a new Kirstie Alley on our hands; poor Jess suddenly is built like Kirby Puckett with breasts. (Not that this is a bad thing. I’m actually attracted to Zaftig Clingy No Self-Esteem Jess, my single strangest celebrity attraction since Renee Zellweger put on her Bridget Jones weight.) Did you ever think an NFL offseason could shape about 20 future Us Weekly covers? It’s happened, my friends. Sneaky weird.

 

jesus christ

jersey cubs fan GOAT

jersey cubs fan

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted
Magary collected a bunch of Romo hot takes in honor of Tony's retirement, and Bill Simmons' is just astonishingly bad:

 

If we’ve learned one thing over the years, it’s that you can’t predict the behavior of someone who has gone unequivocally insane — whether it’s an athlete, a celebrity, a dog with rabies, a female who has passed two or more babies out of her body or, yes, an entire National Football League season.

 

Tony Romo dumped Jessica Simpson for either partying too much (the rumored reason) or gaining too much weight (the real reason, or at least the one I’d wager on in Vegas), followed by Simpson partying even more and gaining even more weight. We might have a new Kirstie Alley on our hands; poor Jess suddenly is built like Kirby Puckett with breasts. (Not that this is a bad thing. I’m actually attracted to Zaftig Clingy No Self-Esteem Jess, my single strangest celebrity attraction since Renee Zellweger put on her Bridget Jones weight.) Did you ever think an NFL offseason could shape about 20 future Us Weekly covers? It’s happened, my friends. Sneaky weird.

 

jesus christ

Turns out, not a real movie star.

Banedon GOAT

Banedon

Community Moderator
Posted
Posted
i've known for a while that simmons sucks, but i didn't realize that he's kind of a bad person too

 

But are you surprised? I mean, I didn't know...but I'm also kinda like "yeah, that totally makes sense that he'd be a schmuck."

biittner77 South Bend Cubs

biittner77

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted
Magary collected a bunch of Romo hot takes in honor of Tony's retirement, and Bill Simmons' is just astonishingly bad:

 

If we’ve learned one thing over the years, it’s that you can’t predict the behavior of someone who has gone unequivocally insane — whether it’s an athlete, a celebrity, a dog with rabies, a female who has passed two or more babies out of her body or, yes, an entire National Football League season.

 

Tony Romo dumped Jessica Simpson for either partying too much (the rumored reason) or gaining too much weight (the real reason, or at least the one I’d wager on in Vegas), followed by Simpson partying even more and gaining even more weight. We might have a new Kirstie Alley on our hands; poor Jess suddenly is built like Kirby Puckett with breasts. (Not that this is a bad thing. I’m actually attracted to Zaftig Clingy No Self-Esteem Jess, my single strangest celebrity attraction since Renee Zellweger put on her Bridget Jones weight.) Did you ever think an NFL offseason could shape about 20 future Us Weekly covers? It’s happened, my friends. Sneaky weird.

 

I still am not sure what I just read. Or why someone got paid to write it. Was there some sort of "how many people can you offend in one sentence" contest?

jersey cubs fan GOAT

jersey cubs fan

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted
Magary collected a bunch of Romo hot takes in honor of Tony's retirement, and Bill Simmons' is just astonishingly bad:

 

If we’ve learned one thing over the years, it’s that you can’t predict the behavior of someone who has gone unequivocally insane — whether it’s an athlete, a celebrity, a dog with rabies, a female who has passed two or more babies out of her body or, yes, an entire National Football League season.

 

Tony Romo dumped Jessica Simpson for either partying too much (the rumored reason) or gaining too much weight (the real reason, or at least the one I’d wager on in Vegas), followed by Simpson partying even more and gaining even more weight. We might have a new Kirstie Alley on our hands; poor Jess suddenly is built like Kirby Puckett with breasts. (Not that this is a bad thing. I’m actually attracted to Zaftig Clingy No Self-Esteem Jess, my single strangest celebrity attraction since Renee Zellweger put on her Bridget Jones weight.) Did you ever think an NFL offseason could shape about 20 future Us Weekly covers? It’s happened, my friends. Sneaky weird.

 

I still am not sure what I just read. Or why someone got paid to write it. Was there some sort of "how many people can you offend in one sentence" contest?

This was written pre-Obama era, or just at the start of it. This is the kind of horsefeathers people have complained about, and been called snowflakes and humorless for not enjoying over the past 8 years. This is the kind of stuff that gave birth to the barstool sports style of sports talk. Blabbing about meaningless horsefeathers on the periphery of sport, kissing the asses of select athletes to gain their favor and promote your brand and talking horsefeathers about chicks, man.

David GOAT

David

Old-Timey Member
Posted
  • Author
Posted

is it just me or does this feel like "here let me make a bunch of jokes about black people under the guise of a south side/white sox joke article"

 

[tweet]

[/tweet]
  • 3 weeks later...
Banedon GOAT

Banedon

Community Moderator
Posted
Posted
[tweet]
[/tweet]

 

I was long ago blocked by Kaplan and Haugh for mocking on of their commercials on CSN. I do sometimes miss being able to see his stupid tweets.

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