6/26 Cubs (Arrieta) @ Cardinals (Lackey) 7:05 PM ABC7

[Butterscup1679666578]

losing is stupid so let's stop doing it

 

Jake Arrieta (pure sex)

7-5, 3.07 ERA, 96 K/21 BB, 91.0 IP

http://cityonthetake.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Jake-Arrieta-of-the-Chicago-Cubs.jpg

 

vs.

 

John Lackey (dumb and gross)

6-4, 3.41 ERA, 66 K/21 BB, 89.2 IP

http://www.bostonherald.com/sites/default/files/styles/full/public/media/2013/04/08/040813soxms10.jpg

[BigSlick]

Jake Arrieta is kind of a jacked hunk isn't he

[Sammy Sofa]

There will be belly fire after a couple of obnoxious losses just before facing the loathsome Cardinals, so I expect a Cubs-delivered slaughter of epic proportions. TBFIB will only be allowed to clap each time one of their own is sacrificed to Kali atop the dugout. They still stagger out drunk upon the blood of the slain, and they will all crash into each other over and over and over again.

[ctcf]

Jesus that Lackey picture is like looking into the sarlacc pit or John Elway's smile.

[Sammy Sofa]

He looks like Phil Mickelson crammed into a baseball uniform in that photo.

[Gilby]

He looks like that dude from Prison Break

 

[Guest]

Look at that Cardinal lineup. It looks mediocre at best. I hate the Cardinals. The Cubs will destroy them and make their shitty racist fans tears flow.

[Ding Dong Johnson]

He looks like that dude from Prison Break

 

More like

http://www.wolfgnards.com/media/blogs/photos/celebrities/Sloth-Fratelli-490x312.jpg

[Sammy Sofa]

Is that a cup for chew spit that he's cradling against his bosom?

[Derwood]

Arietta will defeat them mightily, then take all the player wives as his concubines

[Andy]

STL has simply decided other teams won't score on them anymore, so I hope Arrieta has his good stuff

[CubInOK]

John Lackey

http://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/67/590x/Peter-Crouch-Stoke-Stoke-City-Harry-Redknapp-QPR-Queen-s-Park-Rangers-Crystal-Palace-548044.jpg

[Schwarber Fan]

A sweep would get us to 10 over and just 5.5 back...

[CyHawk_Cub]

A sweep would get us to 10 over and just 5.5 back...

 

 

http://i.imgur.com/oVd0tRT.gif

[sontensei]

I hope Bryant didnt eat more white castles .. GO CUBS!!!!

[ARCubsFan]

John Lackey left his wife when she was undergoing chemo

[sontensei]

John Lackey left his wife when she was undergoing chemo

 

he did... and they had a prenup what a scumbag... http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2011/09/26/boston-red-sox-pitcher-john-lackey-divorcing-wife-battling-cancer/

[Andy]

John Lackey left his wife when she was undergoing chemo

Give him a few shots of whiskey and he's the perfect rep for the organization

[DiamondMind]

John Lackey left his wife when she was undergoing chemo

 

If you go to Wainwrights twitter it says ".... Husband, daddy, outdoor lovin, sweet tea drinkin, Chick-fil-A eatin...". Isn't Chick-fil-A eatin just another way to say I hate me some gays?

 

Give him a few shots of whiskey and he's the perfect rep for the organization

 

And a computer.

[Sammy Sofa]

John Lackey left his wife when she was undergoing chemo

 

If you go to Wainwrights twitter it says ".... Husband, daddy, outdoor lovin, sweet tea drinkin, Chick-fil-A eatin...". Isn't Chick-fil-A eatin just another way to say I hate me some gays?

 

Pretty much. Surprised he didn't fit in "Duck Dynasty-watchin'," too.

[Ski]

Arrieta will struggle mightily in this game, giving up an inside-the-park grand slam bunt in the first inning after he walks the bases loaded on full counts when the umpire doesn't call borderline strikes. The Cubs make a bid to come back in the game, as Lackey never strikes out a batter and every ball in play averages 90 MPH off the bat, but all of them hit directly at Cardinals fielders. Lackey completes the perfect game when Jason Heyward scales the wall to rob a home run off the bat of Starlin Castro, the third home run he'd been robbed of that day. Crippled by having his solid contact go unrewarded all game, Starlin Castro descends into a spiral of rampant alcoholism and never has an errorless game at short with the Cubs again. He's traded to the Cardinals in the offseason, sobers up thanks to the unbelievable support of his teammates and learning the miraculous 'Cardinal Way' and becomes the first player since Ted Williams to hit .400 in a season.

 

That's the worst possible outcome for this game.

[Sammy Sofa]

Arrieta will struggle mightily in this game, giving up an inside-the-park grand slam bunt in the first inning after he walks the bases loaded on full counts when the umpire doesn't call borderline strikes. The Cubs make a bid to come back in the game, as Lackey never strikes out a batter and every ball in play averages 90 MPH off the bat, but all of them hit directly at Cardinals fielders. Lackey completes the perfect game when Jason Heyward scales the wall to rob a home run off the bat of Starlin Castro, the third home run he'd been robbed of that day. Crippled by having his solid contact go unrewarded all game, Starlin Castro descends into a spiral of rampant alcoholism and never has an errorless game at short with the Cubs again. He's traded to the Cardinals in the offseason, sobers up thanks to the unbelievable support of his teammates and learning the miraculous 'Cardinal Way' and becomes the first player since Ted Williams to hit .400 in a season.

 

That's the worst possible outcome for this game.

 

http://replygif.net/i/1392.gif

[Sammy Sofa]

Also: Bryant is clearly the one with the drinking problem.

[CubInOK]

traded to Cardinals

Sobers up

 

Pick one.

[Guest]

Also: Bryant is clearly the one with the drinking problem.

 

he actually claims to have never had alcohol, iirc, according to one of the beat writers (can't remember which)