Gordon Wittenmyer is a Turd

[Tyrant]

101 reasons not to get too giggly about a Cubs World Series. This is just awful.

 

http://www.suntimes.com/sports/baseball/cubs/991022,CST-SPT-gordo06.article

[Transmogrified Tiger]

This is my favorite

 

91. Not ready for prime time players? Cubs 20-10 in day games, but late October is all night games.

 

Oh no, the Cubs are only playing .600 baseball(21-14) at night!

[salukifudd]

What a boob.

[SweetZombieJesus]

Maybe because I'm a 13 year old at heart #35 made me chuckle

[WTFCUBS]

GTFO GORDON WITTENMYER

[Schwarber Fan]

My faves:

 

9. The last time the Cubs won at least nine straight games, they finished third (2001).

 

Great stat, that shines some light on 2008 for sure

 

12. Alfonso Soriano's legs.

 

-12. Alfonso Soriano's bat

 

13. Sean Marshall's hamstring.

 

Yea, because he's been such a key part of this team

 

20. The Diamondbacks in October.

 

I thought teh Cobs weren't gonna make it to October according to your brilliant stats

 

26. Soriano: not enough.

 

Ok...?

 

28. The Cubs have a rookie behind the plate.

 

A rookie that is better than all 5 of the other Cubs 2007 catchers combined and probably the best in baseball

 

31. Is converted closer Ryan Dempster a legitimate No. 2 starter who can hold up at this level all season and through October?

 

I don't know? Is this a "reason"?

 

32. If he's not, the Cubs don't have a front-line No. 2 playoff starter.

 

This is less of a "reason" than number 31

 

35. Can Jim Edmonds get it up all year?

 

LMAO! That's just too funny to leave out

 

36. Last time on the mound, Carlos Zambrano cursed, hulked and jumped around like the out-of-control kid he said he'd outgrown.

 

He's also our best pitcher who has 8 wins

 

40. The Cubs ain't getting Sabathia.

 

Just wanted to have this here... just in case

 

44. Aramis Ramirez is on pace for 93 walks and a .425 on-base percentage. Not a chance.

 

... says the great Gordon W...

 

47. Carlos Lee.

 

48. Jason Bay.

 

49. Chase Utley.

 

50-51. Tony La Russa and Dave Duncan.

 

52. Chipper Jones.

 

Yea, 2 guys that won't be participating in October, some guy in the NL East and 2 pixie faires, so?

 

I can't even read anymore of this garbage

 

What a joke publication

[Soul]

Wow who is this [expletive] anyway? He sounds like the kind of South Side trash I normally don't give the time of day. He writes for a major newspaper? LOL.

[Vanilla Ice]

Maybe because I'm a 13 year old at heart #35 made me chuckle

i was just about to post that

[Jehrico]

I'm surprised no one mentioned #46: Depth. Depth is certainly not our problem, we have as good of an all-around bench as I've ever seen, and our pen has been excellent.

[David]

Is there really a point to picking this clearly fluff and tongue-in-cheek piece apart like this?

[otis89]

I'm sorry, but you lose all credibility the moment you use "giggly" in the title of a professional article.

[JimSorgi]

Is there really a point to picking this clearly fluff and tongue-in-cheek piece apart like this?

Yeah, it's obviously a joke post. Too bad none of the jokes are funny.

[Tyrant]

Is there really a point to picking this clearly fluff and tongue-in-cheek piece apart like this?

 

Sure. Why not?

[Jehrico]

Is there really a point to picking this clearly fluff and tongue-in-cheek piece apart like this?

 

Sure. Why not?

Reminds me of an old line about lawyer jokes. Do you know what's wrong with lawyer jokes? Lawyers don't think they're funny, no one else thinks they're jokes.

[17 Seconds]

Oh well, he's fat.

[Soul]

Is there really a point to picking this clearly fluff and tongue-in-cheek piece apart like this?

Yeah, it's obviously a joke post. Too bad none of the jokes are funny.

 

If that's his idea of a joke, then I recommend he stay away from doing standup for his own health.

[Derwood]

he has a turd name, that's for sure