I would start Chatsuck. "Why", you ask. Here's my strategy. Use Chatsuck and let him make one pitch. Worse case scenario, you're down 1-0 (Cubs clearly don't score in the first or are the home team). Reality is, the ball isn't anywhere near close to the hitting zone. So most likely, the count is 1-0 (as opposed to the score). Immediately pull him and replace him with anyone else on the playoff roster. I don't know if this would work or not. But at least at a critical point in the game (or any point for that matter), Drinky Joe would be unable to even think about using Chatsuck, let alone, actually bring him into the game.