Clem Fandango

I know the playoffs are not a foregone conclusion, but what the Cubs can get for Davis is probably < the value Davis provides to the team if the Cubs make the playoffs.

http://iruntheinternet.com/lulzdump/images/YOSPOS-puts-gun-to-head-guy-dancing-head-bopping-1411903135g.gif

I didn't realize Beltre is only 22 hits away from 3,000 for his career.

Does Juan Pierre live nearby?

http://i.imgur.com/O3RKgNd.jpg

That is, indeed, ludicrous. We can blame former Triple Crown winner and Perennial MVP Candidate Miguel Cabrera, Perennial MVP Candidate Robison Cano, and 2016 HR leader Mark Trumbo for that.

My strategy was to make a mixture of choices for guys who were generally safe bets, but not the popular choice, and guys who were also underdogs to crush dongs. The underdogs not only stayed that way but decided not to even be mentioned in the same breath as actual underdogs. And my safe bets ended up falling on their faces. My whole point to doing that was if everyone picks the same players, most everyone will have trouble advancing because they're all scoring from the same players. That and I picked the wrong Yankee power-hitting prospect as my wild card (Greg Bird). Let's break down my lineup of garbage, shall we (I actually want to do this for myself because I'm so miserable about all this and I want answers)? Group A: I picked Trumbo, while most were picking Arenado. Trumbo has only hit 10 home runs this year. I dropped him for Khris Davis at the end of April. A wiser choice. Group B: I picked Cabrera and Cano while everyone else was picking mostly Kris Bryant and some combo of Rizzo/Davis/Donaldson/Machado. Cabrera has 7 home runs. Cano has 11. They combined for 77 home runs last year. THANKS A LOT, ASSHOLES. Group C: I took Springer, Correa, and Mazara. Springer is a great choice. Correa is solid, too. Mazara only has 8 homers, he sucks. Unfortunately for me, like am impatient dumbass, I dropped Correa for Harper, WHO I SHOULD'VE PICKED IN THE FIRST PLACE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. And I should've dropped Mazara for him Correa was not hitting many dongs in April. Group D: Domingo Santana (Solid Choice). Javier Baez (Solid Choice). HEY LOOK OVER THERE *tries to run away but trips and is forced to reveal everyone else* Uh... Carlos Gomez (6 HR), Byron Buxton (4 HR), Hunter Pence (4 HR). And I used my two switches on Trumbo and Correa. I should've exercised more patience on Correa, regretfully hung onto Mazara and instead swapped out one of these assholes with Zimmerman. Wild Card: Well, let's pick one of these Yankee prospects. Greg Bird and Aaron Judge are gonna be up, but which ones stand to lose playing time? Judge has power, but he doesn't hit for a tremendously high average for a minor leaguer and strikes out a bit and doesn't walk a whole lot. Probably not a good recipe for MLB success. Also a big galoot who probably won't field well in RF so if he struggles at the plate he'll probably get benched with the quickness. Bird, on the other hand has great patience and doesn't strike out a ton and he hit those 11 home runs in 2015 in short time with that power hitters frame, he's probably a sleeper breakout guy this year. And Tex isn't blocking his path at 1B, he's a shoo-in for playing time and has the peripherals to succeed. GREG BIRD IT IS!!!! There's literally no one I can pick at the break to even make me jump a place in this competition because the people I would put on my team are probably already on everyone else's. Here's a sneak preview of the pep talk I'm going to give my team at the ASB:

Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

R.A. Dickey part deux

Schwarbs hits one home run and everyone overreacts, sheesh!

2 kids (born 3 months apart) to 2 different women. double dippin'

At the game right now. The vibe is presently HAPPy

Grant Brisbee, you magnificent bastard http://www.sbnation.com/mlb/2017/5/30/15710926/bryce-harper-hunter-strickland-brawl-sf-giants-washington-nationals

Didn't know where else to put this and didnt want to start a new thread. Is vivid seats a reputable ticket seller? I'm looking to get two tickets to Sundays game vs the Cards and there are some affordable seats on there right now. Question two, I'm a bigger dude and I'd like to get bleacher tickets which are currently around $65 or so because i know they're benches, but are the seats in the upper deck nosebleed areas or the upper deck box seats more accomodating to larger framed people? Ive sat behind home plate in the past and it was pretty uncomfortable, so I'm not thrilled about getting seats, but those nosebleeds are only $26 on vivid seats right now and that's hard to pass up.

Playing in Texas was the best thing for his career. Those Seattle years really killed what could've been an otherworldly career offensive profile for a 3B. He struggled to reach an .800 OPS during his years there, but he's averaged and .880 OPS in the 7 years since.

Ad Iwakuma to that list. Out 4-6 weeks with shoulder inflammation.

It worked for Jose Fernandez. Sort of.

Got a photo of it? The Jostens site did a bang up job of using stock images so there's no size scale of it on the site.

I picked the wrong Yankees slugging prospect for my wild card. As well as the wrong everything else.

Turns out someone apparently fired it from outside the park into the air and the bullet fell and hit her on the way down. Yeehaw.

Opponents scoring first inning runs...

Officially announced that they expect him to be out until the all-star break http://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/19268844/madison-bumgarner-san-francisco-giants-suffered-ac-sprain-three-months

David Ross is willing to work there for free so you know they must be a bunch of monsters.

#NVR4GET

Boy, I bet it will chap his ass even more when he finds out that not only is Chicago in the same time zone, but that most services refer to it as "Chicago" time.