imb

awwww funk

you chicago guys have no idea how exotic real deep dish pizza is to outsiders. when i took my wife to chicago in april, the look on her face after she saw/tasted the pizza we got was hilarious. i have definitely never pleased her to that level

no players are going to want to live in mexico city, how are you going to sign a single free agent?

why

It’s actually the V day window

The fans are definitely.....something. Several years ago, I was in Vegas for my friend's bachelor party. We were at some casino (the Aria maybe?) for dinner, and on our way to the restaurant, there was a UFC fighter on the casino floor taking photos with tourists/fans. We saw the guy from the back, and he was sweaty and had clearly just fought. I didn't think much of it until he turned around and half of his face was swollen shut and there was a ton of cotton shoved up his nose to staunch the bleeding. Why do pretty co-eds in cocktail dresses want their photo taken with a guy who was just beaten to a pulp? he's a celebrity and an official bad ass? i mean i feel like that's a pretty easy one to decipher

here's my UFC deal * the fans do suck. it's true of every sport but especially ufc * the fighters are all getting brain damage and by and large are awful people however, the appeal of watching two dudes face off with an ass-whipping on the line is too much to pass up. I know it's bad but if there's a big fight, im watching. if you lose an NBA/MLB/NFL game, you're just likely vaguely embarrassed on TV. Oh no i missed a tackle/struck out/bricked a 3. If you lose in the UFC you get knocked unconscious. I dont know why but it's appealing, the idea of being brave enough to risk an ass whipping just to prove you're a better puncher

I’d rather have chatwood than dex. Nice guy though

Clint Frazier is garbage

Last offseason was just a disaster; we used up a whole lot of resources to not get any better. I cop to being happy about getting Yu (and still think we'll get something from him) but I really wanted Yelich and/or Cain as well. Our outfield pretty much sucks. its wild how much of the future really hinges on Yu if you think about it. The window (with this group at least) is firmly closed once his contract ends, and if 2019 is another lost year - i can definitely see a scenario where his elbow flares up early and we get 50 innings out of him again - he's essentially done as a SP and we are tapped out resource wise.

holy horsefeathers lol

Yeah that’s not the point though. Players who already have leverage (due to age positional scarcity or whatever) will always ask for opt outs. Once one team is willing to kick in, they all have to. You might as well be complaining about the per year dollar figure. “But why do we have to pay him $30 million?????” Because he asked for it and he could get it from someone else if not us. If you don’t want to do it, don’t, but you aren’t getting the player. Consider the absurdity of wanting Harper but griping about his opt outs. It’s the price of doing business baby That's fine, but if he wants the opt-outs, you better be getting a discount on the total money over what he would be getting from an opt-outless deal. If you're willing to pay him $30m with opt-outs, he better bet worth $50m without them. "Opt-outs are a way of giving more value" is a very different story from "Lol, who even cares about the total value because the opt-outs will invalidate it." it's all a part of the same discussion. every time it comes up you talk about how bad opt outs are for the team, and it's true, they are, in the same way that giving more money to a player is worse for the team than giving less money. What I was talking about above was how nutty it is to talk about giving a player a 14-year deal. Sure, it's crazy, but only someone with harper's leverage can even begin to talk about a contract like that, and he can only do that because the team giving him the deal knows there are opt outs that he's likely to take. And if he's not good enough to opt out, you lose (like we did with jason heyward) but everyone knows that before they make the contract offer. either way, your stance on opt-outs is either just plain wrong or intentionally wrong.

we're all aware of your wrong opinion of how opt-outs work, you don't need to bring it up every time it's mentioned Wonder who Jason Heyward is signing with this off-season. Yeah that’s not the point though. Players who already have leverage (due to age positional scarcity or whatever) will always ask for opt outs. Once one team is willing to kick in, they all have to. You might as well be complaining about the per year dollar figure. “But why do we have to pay him $30 million?????” Because he asked for it and he could get it from someone else if not us. If you don’t want to do it, don’t, but you aren’t getting the player. Consider the absurdity of wanting Harper but griping about his opt outs. It’s the price of doing business baby

It doesn't matter what it's "set at." It could be 25/900. The thing is going to have so many opt outs that the length of the contract is meaningless. That's still *really* not how opt-outs work. we're all aware of your wrong opinion of how opt-outs work, you don't need to bring it up every time it's mentioned

It doesn't matter what it's "set at." It could be 25/900. The thing is going to have so many opt outs that the length of the contract is meaningless.

No no no no to Donaldson. I bet he doesn’t even play 300 games the next three seasons.

Yeah I really like that move if the money is a net zero. I’d even include a fairly decent prospect on our side with + like Vic/Maples to get it done. what motivation would the angels have to trade cozart for chatwood? what's the upside for them

why is "gutless choking dogs" such a well-used term in sports circles. it's such a bizarre combination of words.

Who cares about the gold glove or any award really

Whoever pays arenado will regret it

we've spent like 3 years posting pictures of bryce harper in a cubs uniform and it all blows up in our faces less than a week into the offseason lol

my favorite memory of the smyly era was cubswin talking about how many innings smyly was going to throw in september and the playoffs for us last year

lol at the idea of paying mccutchen 45 million for what will probably be about 3 war over the lifetime of the deal

Me three, I was stuck in suspended animation when Buck was explaining the slip. horsefeathers what an amazing moment. that whole god damn thing was moving in slow motion for me. I'd never heard of that loser at the plate before in my life but i just assumed he was their super-fast dude every team has on the playoff roster. As soon as bryant looked less than sure footed I was 100 percent living in a reality where that ball sails into the dugout.

my timehop was a hilarious wave of pitiful tweets