Sammy Sofa

Oh yeah, definitely remember yearning for that. My cousin had it and he was always so indifferent to it and it drove me up the wall. In my head it was capable of making dinner or doing your homework or walking the dog. Basically I wanted a robot butler. It was pretty cool, I think I even got it to pour a drink once. I would actually still have it, but my brother decided to take it apart to see how it worked and then couldn't put it back together. I can't believe it was $600 in the mid-80's. That would be a quadzillion dollars today.

Nailed it. Hahahahahahah! Though I definitely had an older 2XL, too.

Oh yeah, definitely remember yearning for that. My cousin had it and he was always so indifferent to it and it drove me up the wall. In my head it was capable of making dinner or doing your homework or walking the dog. Basically I wanted a robot butler.

I wanted that thing so bad when I was a kid. Yup. I apparently was such a little [expletive] about wanting it for Christmas that my parents wrote a fake letter from Santa Claus explaining why it wouldn't fit in the house. 4-year-old me was so amazed that I got a letter signed by Santa that I totally bought it. I bought it so much that the next year they did the same damn thing when I wouldn't shut up about wanting this robot: http://www.theoldrobots.com/maxx.html It worked then, too, but by the following year when they tried the same thing when I was demanding the gigantic GI Joe aircraft carrier I knew what the score was. Still didn't get that damn aircraft carrier, though.

I think there's enough there for me, personally, to think he will at least have a career as a competent major league regular. Some might think otherwise. I know Kyle does. Hey, I'm praying for him to be amazing. I just think right now it's a tad premature.

Spiegel is ridiculously fat even by radio-standards.

And as much as I hate to say it, does Soler really count yet?

Has there been talk about him retiring after this season?

Thread counts are definitely a scam. No standardization. I gotta feel my sheets to know if they're soft. I want my sheets extra thready, dammit.

I'm "biased" (AKA have an opinion like every human being ever does about anything) because 99.9% of the time I'm pro-victim in these types of cases. I really don't care about being fair to accused rapists and sex offenders because the vast majority of the time nothing ever happens to them and they get away with it. These are the types of crimes where the victim is fighting a supremely lopsided and uphill battle the entire way, and that's just magnified when the person accused is rich and/or famous. And dancing around this notion that rich and famous people are dramatically more likely to have false rape/sexual assault charges leveled a them to the point that it inexplicably makes them exempt or separate or whatever from "common people" sexual assault is just silly. You can pretend like you're always evenhanded, but the reality is your history is packed with you ranting about sending people to gulags and the like. Obviously there's a ton of hyperbole in play, but there's been plenty of events and issues where you've obviously made up your mind about which side your on regardless of how it actually plays out, just like I'm doing here. And I'm not calling you out as doing anything wrong with that; it's what we all do. It's just hypocritical and ultimately pretty meaningless when people start calling out others for being "biased" when it's clear the reason they're doing so is because they don't like what's being accused of someone they admire or like. We're not journalists or a jury or anything along those lines; we can think whatever we want based on we know so far. I'm under zero obligation to be equally fair to Patrick Kane and his accuser.

I'm far more outraged at him slamming Sleep Number-type beds. Those things are so damn comfortable. What's next, thread counts?!?

Didn't have one wedding all spring/summer and have one the last weekend of September, then then one the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th weekend of October (two of which I am in). Inconsiderate pricks and their fall weddings Same here; nothing all year and then 2 in September and 2 in October. Chewing up my time off with the holidays lurking.

Which he knows because he's a diehard Cardinals fan. He's bragging.

Stupid people getting married.

Cardinal-loving scum.

Yeah, but most of them are the worst and just assuming that gluten is bad for them. It's cool for the relatively few people actually with gluten issues since they have a lot more food options these days, but holy [expletive], it's like the new Asperger's in terms of people just deciding to self-diagnose themselves with something.

[expletive], that's right. He's a damn rat.

You'd probably need to win them all and we all know that's not happening. This is every post by you: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hN9VR32vYmU/UxtsITwRPqI/AAAAAAAABq8/0dNjeSMV1qc/s1600/HelloDarkness.gif

And where are you seeing cramps? Everything I can find just says ye olde "hamstring tightness."

Could actually be due to spider bites that left a bunch of spider babies inside of him. YOU NEVER KNOW.

No problem. Quit being such a Brian Eno.

I hope he sleeps on a pile of plywood just out of spite of comfortable beds.

[expletive] that noise; like David said, let them beat up on the Cubs' real foes right now and then the Cubs can repay them by humiliating them in their own ballpark. It's not like Cubs aren't going to just start an even longer winning streak tomorrow, duh.

Every time Hawk lays down to sleep his head makes that satisfying "THUNK" sound of a pumpkin getting kicked in.

It's like his mouth is imploding on his face.