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Sammy Sofa

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Everything posted by Sammy Sofa

  1. Come on, man; this is just goofy.
  2. I said before I think his likely path is Soriano with worse defense, baserunning and nagging injuries. Not without his value, but that's a whole lot of "ehhhhhh" when people start talking like he's looking like another can't-miss young player. Given the [expletive] pitching FA market and how old (and, quite frankly, REALLY lucky in terms of injuries) the Cubs' starting rotation is, using him as part of a deal to try and bolster that area doesn't seem like the worst idea. Hitting Soler is fun, but minus the NL looking like it's going to get the DH soon, I would mind at all if they opt to trade him if it looks like his value is back up to the point he nets something very good in return. I mean, I look at it as win-win either way. How is this a response to what you quoted? Magic.
  3. I said before I think his likely path is Soriano with worse defense, baserunning and nagging injuries. Not without his value, but that's a whole lot of "ehhhhhh" when people start talking like he's looking like another can't-miss young player. Given the shitty pitching FA market and how old (and, quite frankly, REALLY lucky in terms of injuries) the Cubs' starting rotation is, using him as part of a deal to try and bolster that area doesn't seem like the worst idea. Hitting Soler is fun, but minus the NL looking like it's going to get the DH soon, I would mind at all if they opt to trade him if it looks like his value is back up to the point he nets something very good in return. I mean, I look at it as win-win either way.
  4. RETURN TO PARADISE. Vince Vaughn takes a bath with Anne Heche, I guess.
  5. Oh my god, what was the name of this stupid movie? Was that the Claire Danes one? That's what I thought at first, but that was Brokedown Palace, which was also terrible.
  6. lochte is going to have to go back and take responsibility in the form of accepting a life imprisonment in return for them commuting the sentences of his friends from death to life. Oh my god, what was the name of this stupid movie?
  7. Savages II: Everbody Sucks
  8. http://i.imgur.com/6BrOL.gif
  9. http://flashbak.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/tumblr_my9z7apRK31rpj04no2_r1_500.gif
  10. http://i.imgur.com/Z7Jyx2I.jpg
  11. I always thought best thing about that photo is you know that nobody had to suggest for him to pose like that; he probably wouldn't stop doing it and they were finally, like, "FINE, we'll take the [expletive] mirror picture."
  12. Hookers and blow would also explain why his hair turned a lovely shade of Max Schreck.
  13. Once you're past 30 you'll realize hooker and blow fiestas can involve many, many people.
  14. But seriously, it's obviously some combination of Lester, Jake and Hendricks.
  15. Dracula, Blacula and Son of Kong.
  16. He was totally trying to do some blow off of some big ol' Brazilian butts. Let's remember who we're talking about here.
  17. Tried to buy drugs and/or hookers and got ripped off or "lost" his wallet and made up a story that sounds like he watched Boondock Saints too much like the douchebro he is. His whole bit about the thief (either THE thief, or one of several, depending on who is telling the story, natch) putting a gun to his head and cocking it (and him going, "whatever") is such a hilariously and obviously made up detail.
  18. In other words... http://i.imgur.com/ZGsZX.gif
  19. His sleek, blubbery coat would dry out.
  20. Also: you really should change your name to "Heyward Fan." We need to do everything we can to salvage him.
  21. I thought the same thing. "When the horsefeathers did Jake change his number?"
  22. Uhmmmm, says the guy acting like the Goose Gossage of PED awesomeness. And everything fun is the opium of the masses to you. The sooner you accept our new, super fast Jamaican overlords and quit pining for Lance Armstrong to lower taxes, brutalize criminals and rule you like a king, the better.
  23. I dont know what to tell you; the only thing I care about less than whether an athlete is using PED's or not is whether track or bicycling is more popular. And I was one of the cool kids that thought Armstrong seemed like an obnoxious dick when he "was the most inspirational story ever." He was a hyper-competitive, mildly sociopathic ass loathed by his teammates and everyone else in the sport, and not in a good way like prime Jordan or Tiger. Bolt is a likable guy clearly having a blast and he provides bite-sized moments of amazingness and then he goes away and I don't have to see his stupid bracelets and books and everything else like stupid Armstrong. Just admit that you didnt know where to get those bracelets and felt left out at first, and then you saw [expletive] wearing them and you were like "yep, i knew those things were for [expletive]." You were totally the shattered "IT'S STILL REAL TO ME, DAMMIT"-guy of Lance Armstrong-ing, weren't you?
  24. Sulley's all about valiant Latin American and Caribbean struggles against the yoke of capitalist imperialism, except when it comes to shiny medals for doing things fast.
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