Sammy Sofa

http://deadspin.com/malaysian-diver-executes-flawless-belly-flop-1785329513 http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x4ovo1a_amsyar-ahmad-azman-de-malasia-hizo-uno-de-los-peores-clavados-de-los-juegos-olimpicos_sport

http://deadspin.com/dont-try-to-surprise-adrian-beltre-with-a-beverage-show-1785330567

How about we just settle for the lofty standards of people who don't act like (or are fans of) complete bags of [expletive]? But who judges who's a complete bag of [expletive] and who's only a partial bag of [expletive]? Your mom.

How about we just settle for the lofty standards of people who don't act like (or are fans of) complete bags of horsefeathers?

Zobrist is the most boring cleanup hitter of all time. Me want dongmonster.

I'm also thinking along the lines of the Cubs right now; if hypothetically the Cubs miraculously have a pick where they're choosing between Prior and Teixeria, to me Prior seems like the obvious choice. Areas of need should sway this as opposed to just a blanket approach that hitters are almost always the better choice. What in the what? Areas of need? In the MLB draft? For shame I'm obviously not talking about Hendry-like, "let's get more letfhanded" nonsense; again, use the current Cubs as an example: if they somehow were lucky enough to have to pick between Prior and Texeria right now, Prior, to me, makes more sense due both to his talent and because of the system's need for pitching vs. how stacked they are offensively. Clearly that doesn't mean pick a pitcher just to pick a pitcher, but if the choice is between two top prospects, I'd say go with the amazing pitcher. We're talking about pretty exceptional circumstances here.

http://new3.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/But+you+had+two+thumbs+up+_9fa9a7d90a9858c97ca80c34d0727fc2.gif

I assumed he misspelled Cutler (mainly because of the "not kidding" part) and got really excited at the idea of actually seeing a furious Jay.

horsefeathers them, too.

I remember that draft pretty well, and Prior was considered far and away the best prospect available and it was a little bit shocking that the Twins didn't select him (worked out pretty well for them). Obviously, I know a hell of a lot more about baseball now and scouting and the MLB draft, but honestly I still think I would've selected Prior over Tex. That doesn't match my memory exactly, but I was also 14 so I'm not going to claim to have my finger exactly on the pulse. My memory is that there was definitely a sentiment that Prior was an incredible prospect and probably the best in the draft, but also that Teixeira and definitely Mauer were really really good too. Put another way, Prior would have gone #1 in a number of drafts(and possibly his own if it weren't for Mauer's hometown factor), but Mauer and Teixeira would have been Top 5 picks in a number of drafts too. They weren't there for lack of a better of alternatives(unlike say, Hultzen or Ackley) which underlines the point I was trying to make above. IMO you need a prospect of Prior's quality as a prerequisite for taking a pitcher Top 5, but also a lack of prospects of Teixeira/Mauer caliber as alternatives. I'm also thinking along the lines of the Cubs right now; if hypothetically the Cubs miraculously have a pick where they're choosing between Prior and Teixeria, to me Prior seems like the obvious choice. Areas of need should sway this as opposed to just a blanket approach that hitters are almost always the better choice.

No, not enough at least. You need a generational college pitcher(Strasburg, Prior) and a dearth of hitting prospects on par with say, the 2016 or 2014 first round(and even then, Schwarber and Conforto are decent counterpoints) to even consider it. Pitchers fail as a rule, and when you have the chance to impact your organization as much as a Top 5 pick can, you need one to be overwhelmingly above the field for it to be the right call to draft one. Strasburg's draft is close, depending on how much you liked Ackley at draft time. Drafting Prior over Teixeira is not close to that bar(to speak nothing of the fact that Mauer went #1). Fair enough. Personally, I'd be cool with still going with Prior. Vive la difference.

Good call from the comments:

It's not about 100% chance of having the 'right' pick, it's about minimizing downside. Strasburg obviously was a hit(as was Price), but the top of the draft is also littered with Bullingtons and Appels and Hultzens and Bauers and Zimmers, and that's just limiting to the well-regarded college arms. Ackley was a miss(although one who was great in MiLB and carried strong trade value up through his second go round in MLB), but the top of the draft is also full of Teixeiras and Bryants and Poseys and Wieters and Longorias and Gordons. You don't want to ignore your scouting process entirely, but you have to heavily weight the repeated outcomes that have come before you. Right, but do you not think Prior stuck out of the usual pack, even by the standards of top draft picks? Again, it just feels like the circumstances of his downfall are so relatively bizarre that it feels like he's being dismissed in a "well, that's what you get for drafting a pitcher"-sense that doesn't seem entirely accurate.

HARD PASS: http://deadspin.com/jonathan-papelbon-subjected-his-teammates-to-terrible-p-1785311344

Here's a quick and dirty illustration, 2000-2009 Top 5 picks(to give them time to reach MLB and contribute). Hitters: 25 Pitchers: 25 Hitters with 10 career bWAR: 12 Pitchers with 10 bWAR: 5 That will change to 14 to 5 soon because Moustakas and Hosmer are both north of 9.5 bWAR too(no pitchers are close). Again, I'm not disagreeing with this idea. I just don't think that means someone is automatically "wrong" if they would still choose Prior, or choose a pitcher, period.

It's not a matter of being right or wrong unless someone is saying "yes, I would still take Mark Prior knowing what would happen to him." the point is that can't miss college bats really are can't miss and must be taken over can't miss college arms because no arm is can't miss I don't think anyone is disagreeing that bats aren't a better bet to succeed. I just think it's been extrapolated to some goofily extreme levels by some here.

you can make a wonderful argument for drafting Mark Appel over Kris Bryant as well, if you are interesting in being wrong about everything. It's not a matter of being right or wrong unless someone is saying "yes, I would still take Mark Prior knowing what would happen to him."

Well, yeah, arguing it from a standpoint of what actually happened, it's silly to pick Prior. From a standpoint of picking either without knowing what would happen, you can easily make a good argument either way. Personally, I still go with Prior.

It took such a ridiculous series of circumstances to derail Prior; I'd pick him again in a heartbeat.

http://i.giphy.com/IPG22ppWvtAJ2.gif

Has Bryant always had such bad forehead acne and I've just been oblivious to it?

ROAST GOING OUT LIKE A CHAMP.

I'm not going to claim exhaustive knowledge of the process, but my mental model is that they aren't reviewing every audio clip they have each year. If that's the case, then they definitely screwed up more than what I was picturing, but the fact that they've got that in there at all(a 20 year old song with that title) is probably an indicator that whatever list they're pulling from wasn't being reviewed with much scrutiny, if at all. I don't claim to know the actual process they're using either. But I do know that they've got to make sure that all the music they play is licensed, so they have to know what the songs are called. I assume that they have an approval process that would at least include reading the titles of the songs. But I can't imagine a baseball stadium wouldn't also scrutinize the music to, for example, make sure they're not playing F bombs between innings. This is less scrutiny than that. It's hard to believe that someone didn't know what they were doing playing this song. Yeah, I have to think this was intentional; it's not like this is a song typically played at public events that they just stumbled across or accidentally played, and the obvious reason why is right there in the title. I have a feeling this was an awesome bit of... http://i.giphy.com/Cxk8FVWDTWegE.gif