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Sammy Sofa

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Everything posted by Sammy Sofa

  1. Sammy Sofa
    It was heartbreaking that time he had to save Theo from being driven off in the back of that orphan truck.
  2. Sammy Sofa
    I bet he went to the bathroom when they collected tickets Boxcar Ricketts. Scoff all you want; keeping everything he owns in a bindle makes his getaway from the daily Cubs loss all the easier.
  3. Sammy Sofa
    I know I've said this a bunch of times, but there are only so many Pujols misses a team gets before they can't spend for a while. It just seems like many on this board -- I acknowledge it's bad to make such broad generalizations -- want every single big name free agent each season no matter the years or the price without thinking much of the overall picture. And then many times a few years later, it's like, damn, glad we didn't sign that guy. Well, some of us clamor for all of them because the Cubs are signing none of them. I don't actually want them to have ALL of those guys; again, it would be ideally indicative of them being willing and able to build up and strengthen a team through means other dumpster diving and from the ground up via internal development. Big spending, more trades, internal development...I want it all, baby. I WANT IT ALL.
  4. Sammy Sofa
    http://jdsrockinsports.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/ohNO.jpg
  5. Sammy Sofa
    I preferred his work with the Doobie Brothers.
  6. Sammy Sofa
    Damn, if only Edwin Jackson weren't standing in the way of their obvious ability to win games and not be terrible at baseball.
  7. Sammy Sofa
    Junior Lake is a Seinfeld character, too! He's what Kramer charmingly coined as a "terrible baseball player." *Slaps the bass*
  8. Sammy Sofa
    Meanwhile Tom Ricketts totally sneaked into the hospital room and stole the guy's orange juice.
  9. Sammy Sofa
    Plus he can drink the whole way home!
  10. Sammy Sofa
    Thanks!
  11. Sammy Sofa
    Unless he was threatening God, like, "see what I can do? You try and take that guy and I'm coming after you," in which case I take back my take back.
  12. Sammy Sofa
    I'm taking it back; Rizzo was wishing death on the guy. He's a monster.
  13. Sammy Sofa
    ... http://i.imgur.com/PLfIG6L.gif
  14. Sammy Sofa
    I'm just looking at it in the vague terms of "bad," "OK," "good" and "great. Very scientific.
  15. Sammy Sofa
    And to clarify, my desire of these huge signings would be predicated on being indicative of the Cubs actually being able to act like the grown-ass ballin' big market team they should be. I only want them spending big once they can actually eat said spending when necessary a la the Dodgers or the Angels.
  16. Sammy Sofa
    http://www.spin.com/articles/sad-jack-white-cubs-baseball-game-photo-stadium/
  17. Sammy Sofa
    Check out Cutler's enormous va.... ...n. http://deadspin.com/jay-cutler-drove-to-camp-in-a-big-ass-van-is-still-the-1609890240
  18. Sammy Sofa
    I described all of the Jack White at Wrigley photos as him looking like an angrily hissing cat. That dude is PISSED.
  19. Sammy Sofa
    Soler: I know you can read my thoughts, Theo. Just a little reminder: if I find out you cut me, your ass is mine. Yes, you heard me; I think words I would never say. Rizzo: I know you can read MY thoughts, Theo...MEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOW.
  20. Sammy Sofa
    i like to think that jorge soler literally tells theo things like "now is my time," preferably via unsolicited text messages at 2am I prefer via painful telepathy. he's always telling jorge not to do it between 4 and 5 because that's theo's time but then jorge just does it anyway Sometimes he switches Lake's and the organ player's brains just to see if anyone notices.
  21. Sammy Sofa
    It may have something to do with the vague wording. Yup. It goes from "slightly" to "significantly," when all I want to vote for is "I think the defense will be just OK." Which is fine.
  22. Sammy Sofa
    YES. Nothing more satisfying than clocking a hard-hitting robot batter with a 200 MPH fastball and hearing that breaking sound.
  23. Sammy Sofa
    i like to think that jorge soler literally tells theo things like "now is my time," preferably via unsolicited text messages at 2am I prefer via painful telepathy.
  24. Sammy Sofa
    I've stupidly wanted every big name FA that's come up since Theo and co. were hired and that's likely never going to change barring all of the prospects coming up and being amazing. This rebuild has broken what little baseball acumen I had and now I am meatballin' hard.
  25. Sammy Sofa
    The gnashing of teeth and rending of garments is in response to all the 90 loss seasons. Cespedes is just another brick in the wall, but that doesn't mean fans who actually care about results of the major league team are not allowed to wish they signed him. Or does it? I'm saying Mr. Sofa's bizarre obsession with Cespedes specifically isn't based on anything rational. In hindsight I'd rather they signed Cespedes instead of DeJesus+Schierholtz, but it's about #528 on the list of regrets which is why I don't repeatedly rue the day that he got away. It's humorous hyperbole based on an "obsession" with the Cubs failing to sign really any valuable longterm everyday FA under the current FO. I wasn't even the one who brought him up.
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