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Sammy Sofa

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Everything posted by Sammy Sofa

  1. Sammy Sofa
    See? This guy gets it. Everything that can go wrong will go wrong.
  2. Sammy Sofa
    ... Can I see it?
  3. Sammy Sofa
    I'd like to think it means you were cartoonishly mad, but instead of steam shooting out of your ears it shoots out of your ass because: farts. I can provide slides and an academic lecture for a reasonable fee.
  4. Sammy Sofa
    Truffle, you are the best.
  5. Sammy Sofa
    There's no way I'm leaving as soon as they start winning. I'm gonna be back in so hard like I never doubted them it'll make you steam your shorts.
  6. Sammy Sofa
    That actually makes me feel worse than if they had intentionally tanked.
  7. Sammy Sofa
    This is true. I spent the last week on vacation in the wilds of northern Wisconsin and in the evenings we sat around the mighty fire, stinking of the wilderness and drinking shitty beers and smoking fine cigars and the meatball talk flowed and for the first time ever I didn't even bother trying to argue against any of it...and it felt good. It felt like peace. Tim, this is some of the good stuff you can get in with on the ground floor. I'm gonna crank it up to Whitman-levels in a second.
  8. Sammy Sofa
    Annnnnd you've gone full-Kyle Long time ago.
  9. Sammy Sofa
    That last line should continue, "... just enough to win 79 games and still not have any playoff hopes, and then be deprived of Albert Almora (eh), Kris Bryant, and Kyle Schwarber + three high school arms with good upside." Thank goodness we dodged the terrible drafting they did in Boston. Oh my goodness. You know why this is a horrifically bad argument, right? Only slightly worse than basically saying "we NEEDED to draft at the top to save this team from the nightmare state it was in."
  10. Sammy Sofa
    because javy [expletive] baez doesn't give a [expletive] about your team son Real gully nukkas don't give a [expletive] about bumpkin baseball, nephew. what i'm saying is the guy with the mlb tattoo isn't signing a team friendly anything. it's not a good idea to waste a year of team control because you think the groundballs might be different at the big league level By the time that year would be an issue, if they haven't gotten their [expletive] together financially then...holy hell, I don't even know what that is.
  11. Sammy Sofa
    Come on, the new CBA didn't suddenly turn this into the NBA draft.
  12. Sammy Sofa
    They're going to have to ban me to silence my blazing ax of truth.
  13. Sammy Sofa
    because javy [expletive] baez doesn't give a [expletive] about your team son Real gully nukkas don't give a [expletive] about bumpkin baseball, nephew.
  14. Sammy Sofa
    That last line should continue, "... just enough to win 79 games and still not have any playoff hopes, and then be deprived of Albert Almora (eh), Kris Bryant, and Kyle Schwarber + three high school arms with good upside." Thank goodness we dodged the terrible drafting they did in Boston.
  15. Sammy Sofa
    This is good [expletive]. This is the [expletive] that I want.
  16. Sammy Sofa
    I would have settled for "not horrible" and "working towards improving" while somehow magically using the sorcery other teams have used to build their farm system without tanking.
  17. Sammy Sofa
    The only thing that will persuade me is the team not being terrible. I cannot possibly make it more clear than that. Until then this is brutal and if it was a somehow a test to be a fan "the right way" of baseball or whatever then I have failed miserably and have completely regressed back to the fan I was when I was 14.
  18. Sammy Sofa
    See? That new guy is pretty level-headed; I can revel in my big bowl of hate and the new guys can be the rational ones.
  19. Sammy Sofa
    It's being all about hating the world until these dicks actually gives us something good. Then it's cool. But let us call them on their [expletive] in the meantime and be prepared to destroy them with a righteous fury if it fails.
  20. Sammy Sofa
    I'm going to write a beautiful piece called How I Stopped Thinking Positive and Came to Love the Meatball and give it to Tim to put on the front page. When guys end up being hack machines and getting hit by balls and other players and cars and the TV bubble bursts and Chicago goes bankrupt and takes the Cubs with them it will be seen as prophetic. The farm system simply is the one that thing that hasn't gone wrong...yet. This is anti-logic and insanity and deep down inside of you you all know that it's true. Embrace the meatball and realize what we are trapped in.
  21. Sammy Sofa
    You take it as sandbagging 2015, I take it as eyeing a specific acquisition that isn't a FA until the 2015 offseason. Oh good; they're laser-sighted in on the one guy they want and if they don't get him then they have this awesome track record of backup plans that worked out (or even existed at all). You are either having some serious reading comprehension issues tonight, or you just feel the need to intentionally misread things in an effort to complain because it just makes you feel better about things. I'm just explaining the reality of the situation based on their past efforts when it comes to eyeing specific FA acquisitions.
  22. Sammy Sofa
    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SV2t29C9Hc4/Udip0f3dFUI/AAAAAAAAAS4/6Kjr827vRPw/s1600/Strawman+playbackups+com.jpg Nooooooooooooope. Unless that's some kind of Austrian thing that means something sideways over there.
  23. Sammy Sofa
    Go sniff a cork.
  24. Sammy Sofa
    Why are you so convinced they won't be able to get Baez into a team-friendly deal?
  25. Sammy Sofa
    Fine, I just imagined the no holes thing.
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