Z Out of the Closet? (Fake Article)

[weatherdood]

Lord knows the validity of this, and not that it matters one bit in the big picture, but found this interesting, no less.

 

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/333618-carlos-zambrano-comes-out-of-the-closet

 

Carlos Zambrano is gay – and wants to quell recent reports that he had denied it , but after being seen leaving Chicago & Texas area gay and Lesbian hot spots with the same man He decided to come clean about his secret gay life. The pitcher tells PEOPLE exclusively

 

"So, rather than ignore those who choose to publish their opinions without actually talking to me, I am happy to dispel any rumors or misconceptions and am quite proud to say that I am a very content gay man living my life to the fullest and feel most fortunate to be working with wonderful people in the business I love."

[inari]

Ok, that's less believable than the Bradley ad. It's even got a Tribune logo up top when it's clearly not a Tribune story. And that quote simply doesn't sound like Z.

 

I obviously don't have a problem with it, but this is all kinds of bull.

[A-Cal]

Z must have been brushing up on his English before this all important announcement. That being said, I hope he sports some hot pink cleats this season.

[Sammy Sofa]

A gay Zambrano would be amazing, but this is a pretty crappy joke. What he suddenly turned eloquent and a master of english? And he's been living proudly and openly as a gay man...with his wife and kid? Someone didn't do their research.

[TruffleShuffle]

i'm surprised he follow up on milton bradley's lead and take out a full page ad in the tribune to announce his gayness.

[Andy]

This is a prank. Following is an excerpt from the Neil Patrick Harris coming out story. Look familiar?

 

Neil Patrick Harris is gay – and wants to quell recent reports that he had denied it. The actor tells PEOPLE exclusively:

 

"The public eye has always been kind to me, and until recently I have been able to live a pretty normal life. Now it seems there is speculation and interest in my private life and relationships.

 

"So, rather than ignore those who choose to publish their opinions without actually talking to me, I am happy to dispel any rumors or misconceptions and am quite proud to say that I am a very content gay man living my life to the fullest and feel most fortunate to be working with wonderful people in the business I love."

[Sammy Sofa]

This laziness makes me furious. A gay Zambrano has amazing possibilites and this is what we get? BOOOOO THIS JOKE.

[Little Slide Rooter]

Hed definitely be the Bert of the couple.

[WeberJazz]

Maybe this is his covert attempt to get a date with NPH?

[OleMissCub]

not that there's anything wrong with that

[inari]

Hed definitely be the Bert of the couple.

 

I don't get it.

[Little Slide Rooter]

Hed definitely be the Bert of the couple.

 

I don't get it.

 

the big spoon.

[Shilzzz]

i'm surprised he follow up on milton bradley's lead and take out a full page ad in the tribune to announce his gayness.

 

Giving Bradley a black guy would take on a hole new meaning.

[Shilzzz]

Carlos ZambraNO [expletive]

[KurtEvans]

I don't get it.

[inari]

Hed definitely be the Bert of the couple.

 

I don't get it.

 

the big spoon.

 

Oh, Bert and Ernie. Got it.

[circlecitycub]

An openly gay, flamboyant Zambrano striking out Major League hitters would be absolutely hilarious.

[Garwilly]

I forget, were Edmonds jokes outlawed?