JudasIscariotTheBird

The Cubs site reads as follows right now: "Cubs aim to pick up Rucsh against Tigers" I won't even waste my time or yours trying to make a joke out of it. It's already funny.

Those splits are RIDICULOUS. And it goes to show how much of an impact a incompetent manager has on the outcome of a season. Any rational mind could have a big possitive effect on the offence armed with stats like those. The 1.016 OPS really is shocking to me from Murton.

I remember coming back from an Iowa Cubs game in Colorado Springs and listening to a Cub game on the radio back in 2004 with my parents. They announced: "Glendon Rucsh has been called up from Iowa and will be starting today's game". "Holy (insert your favorite curse word here)!!!" I exclaimed. My Mom said, "What, what's wrong?" I replied, "Did you hear that?!? The Cubs managed to get someone to the majors who is worse than Jeff Fassero! I can't believe Glendon is even NEAR the majors this year! He had like a 6.50 ERA last year with the Brewers! He never once had a good season. What is going on!" "You are over-reacting," my Mom said. So yesterday, my Mom said over the phone: "Holy (insert your word)! Glendon sucks!" ...and she thinks NEIFI is OK!!! I was just listening to a song called "Green Jello Sucks (Theme Song)" by Green Jello, and for some reason, it immediately brought the Cubs to mind.

This is actually a conversation that's been had quite a bit in other threads, but off the top of my head.... Larry Dierker Davey Johnson (though he just found employment elsewhere) Bobby Valentine Jim Riggleman Bob Brenly Lou Brown Leslie Nielsen Punky Brewster Eek! the cat Eek! the Cat!?! No way!!! Bring in Sharky. He'll light a fire under the team, and won't be afraid to yell (or bite) at umps.

Thanks for the LOL moment. Hahahaha When asked about his idea to play 8 positions at once, Neifi replied, "I know I can't hit very well, but with my defence at all positions, we should get 4, maybe five outs every inning. Even though we won't score more than one run a week, the other team will average negative 5 runs a game...I have it all worked out on a notepad back in my room. I'm a huge stats nut."

Sounds like "Slapshot." What did you say to him Reg? I told him his wife was a [expletive]! In other news, the miscreants on whitesoxinteractive.com must be wetting themselves over this thread! "She's a lesbian, a LESBIAN!!!"

just remembered....do you guys remember when this team actually SWEPT the CARDINALS!?! Just can't believe that actually happened this season. What a tease.

"I'm going fishing to get my mind off things. While I'm gone, Neifi will be managing the team. He said something about playing all 8 positions at once. If anyone can do it, Neifi can. Maybe he'll save us again this year!"

That's the worst idea I've ever heard in my life. Maybe so, but I know 15 NSBB'ers I'd give it to yesterday off the top of my head. No one gets jokes anymore, either.

I've gotten to the point where I am kind of a gnostic Cubs fan. I want the Cubs to extend Baker, resign Fat Glen and Neifi, trade Lee for the rights to Matt Karchner's unborn son, and release Zambrano outright. Then my Cubs won't let me down ever again...and I'll add a smiley face next to my Cubs tatoo on my arm. :)

errrr... so much wrong with that I don't know where to begin What? Should I have thrown in Dunston, Mitch Webster and Hector Villanuava for good measure? Its one thing to misspell Sandberg's name but another to bash Hector! ::ncool: I appologize on both counts. I'll pull back Hector and use Mel Rojas instead.

errrr... so much wrong with that I don't know where to begin What? Should I have thrown in Dunston, Mitch Webster and Hector Villanuava for good measure?

Murton > Sandberg + Dawson + Sosa COMBINED!!!

We dont have enough to win the Division, but should be competitive for the WC. And fire up your boy plz. Guys we are in 5th place in our division and are in the process of scoring 1 run vs. Victor Santos. WC right. Yeah...why even watch this season...

Neifi is a bench player who brings a gold glove and flexibility to the middle infield positions yet still sucks? A LOT of MLB teams would take a gold glove middle infielder to serve in a backup role. One could only dream...

Have you been to a game at Busch III yet? It's obviously a work in progress since 1/6 of the park is still closed off and being worked on. Once they finish the park and Ballpark Village and fix some of the signage (too many ads) the place will be pretty good. No great but pretty good. Have you been to Milwaukee? OMG that place sucks total a**. How can it be less than 10 years old and feel 20+? I went there once when a sudden thunderstorm came through: had to move because the roof leaked. SF and Pitt are the bomb: been to games at both. Though the 30,000 empty seats in Pitt take away from the experience the view and stadium is great. Haven't been to a game at B.O.B. Petco doesn't impress me. Was there last March and didn't see the game but it looks "bleh" from the outside. And I hate those weird corners for no reason. Bad is the Metrodome: only 5000 good seats in that abomination. Bad is Shea stadium: when the jets fly over. Bad is Dolphins Stadium: only good for football, horrible for baseball. Bad is Tropicana field: everything about the place. Bad is Minute Maid: the name, the train and the short left field I could homer on. Bad is Yankee Stadium: it's not the house Ruth built. It's the field Ruth played on and the CBS gut rehabbed in the early 70's. Bad is Fenway: unless you're shorter than 5'6" and very narrow hips: you'll be miserable. Bad is Oakland: horrible for football, worse for baseball. Fair is Los Angeles: you can only enter at a specific gate and can't walk around. I'm nopt talking about sitting in someone else's seat, I'm talking about just walking around and seeing the place. Good is Atlanta: nice park, sucky fans. Good is Kansas City: 30,000 empty seats on the weekend, but nice park. Good is Seattle: except when trains go by. Great food though. (and yes I've been all these places) Have you been to Coors? I think it's a really nice park...apart from the air. I got to go on a tour of Minute Maid for a scientific convention last year. It seemed pretty cool to me, but then, any park that you get to walk around in while its empty is probably pretty cool. I especially liked that the flag pole in center still had a smudge on it from when (Sexton?) crushed a (single or double?) 550 ft.

I talked some junk about Neifi at a Rockies game (more Cub fans than Rockies). Some lady told me to shut up and that he was great. He went 3-4 or something. Worst Cub win I ever saw. The best Cub win I ever saw was when Prior was steping to the plate. The starter was getting rocked and I made the comment, "Prior has never hit a homer in his career, but I think he's going yard this AB." A Rockie fan turned around and jeered at me, and as soon as he turned around Prior crushed one right at us, opposite field. He turned around again and gave me a look like I had just steped on his kid's head. One of the best games I saw at Coors Field, apart from the Sammy 3HR 9 RBI game.

If Murton had his own talk show I would drink to it. I'll drink to him constantly.

Murtonium: It patiently waits and lies dormant until it kills you in a violent but awe-inspiring explosion of carnage The Big Murt? ...no, that sucks... The Step-Child? ...no, that also sucks... For any final fantasy nerds out there...does the "murton" spell make more sense to all of you now? I had a good one during the game, but it slips my mind at the time.

Sorry to wreck the moment...but can someone help us out and actually beat any of the three teams ahead of us? Kuh-rise-t

that plus the fact that the memory of that night wrecks my nerves everytime, probably will until there is a championship on the northside again....plus i quit smoking today so im a tad on the irratable side That's almost as silly as saying "I quit heroin two minutes ago!" i smoke 1 1/2 a day and i havent had a single smoke since 2:30 am it is not silly if you said that to my face i'd squeeze your neck till your eyes pop out...bite me!!! You said you were irritable? ...the heroin comparison only rings more true now... if i had just quit heroine 2 minutes ago, i'd be high and happy, so no, no it doesnt Ok, make it three hours instead.

go ahead isn't he? Brian you should know all about CUBS karma by now.....or are you a young CUBS fan? sorrysorrysorry I PROMISE TO NEVER TEMPT FATE AGAIN Just remember it's the CUBS. What can go wrong usually does go wrong. If you google murphy's law you will see a CUBS logo... that plus the fact that the memory of that night wrecks my nerves everytime, probably will until there is a championship on the northside again....plus i quit smoking today so im a tad on the irratable side That's almost as silly as saying "I quit heroin two minutes ago!" i smoke 1 1/2 a day and i havent had a single smoke since 2:30 am it is not silly if you said that to my face i'd squeeze your neck till your eyes pop out...bite me!!! You said you were irritable? ...the heroin comparison only rings more true now...

I thought we went over this 8 or so times in this thread... I was on my way home from campus during the previous several pages... I guess I missed something. Falls in the tempting fate catagory...

go ahead isn't he? Brian you should know all about CUBS karma by now.....or are you a young CUBS fan? sorrysorrysorry I PROMISE TO NEVER TEMPT FATE AGAIN Just remember it's the CUBS. What can go wrong usually does go wrong. If you google murphy's law you will see a CUBS logo... that plus the fact that the memory of that night wrecks my nerves everytime, probably will until there is a championship on the northside again....plus i quit smoking today so im a tad on the irratable side That's almost as silly as saying "I quit heroin two minutes ago!"

I thought we went over this 8 or so times in this thread...