Clem Fandango

You're definitely in the post-season rotation. Regular season then, lol. If Fred's record for me was right, my record is now 16-3. That's Arrieta-esque

Well it was fun while it lasted, everyone. Here's hoping i don't get to start another game thread til next season!

http://i.imgur.com/ydKM4Hp.gif

11. Victories. In a row. You're welcome, guys. http://i.imgur.com/f7B5pPg.gif The Cardinals are sending up Luke Weaver, one of their top pitching prospects. He was their first round selection in 2014. He has no major league stats to speak of, but these are his minor league stats this year: Year Lev W L ERA G GS IP BB SO WHIP H9 HR9 BB9 SO9 SO/W 2016 AA-AAA 7 3 1.30 13 13 83.0 12 92 0.928 7.0 0.4 1.3 10.0 7.67 2016 AA 6 3 1.40 12 12 77.0 10 88 0.948 7.4 0.5 1.2 10.3 8.80 2016 AAA 1 0 0.00 1 1 6.0 2 4 0.667 3.0 0.0 3.0 6.0 2.00 Looking good, Luke. Except for that face of yours. http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/images/players/head_shot/596133.jpg Unfortunately you have to go up against the scourge of the NL Central, one Mr. Kyle Hendricks, and he's still not taking any horsefeathers from anyone. Does this look like the face of mercy to you? http://i.imgur.com/THnqRt3.jpg?1 Something something Kyle Hendricks is your daddy, Luke. Star Wars reference. Kyle Hendricks' numbers look like this: http://i.imgur.com/nVP5ADA.jpg?1 The Cardinals after tomorrow will look like this: http://i.imgur.com/qsRAOfr.jpg?1 Eh, who am I kidding, they look like that now. Oh yeah. Keep winning, Cubs.

These bank of america llama commercials are horrendous.

Contreras' arm is amazing out there

This game is everything I hoped itd be and more

Not even a bunch of bad hitting with runners in scoring position can keep this team down. Carlos Martinez karate chopped the cooler lid off in anger and the Cubs walked off with a win on a Rizzo base on balls. Yay yaaaaayyyyy! The Cardinals will be sending up the corpse of former perennial Cy Young candidate Adam Wainwright. Adam Wainwright's stats look like this: W L ERA G GS CG SHO IP BB SO ERA+ FIP WHIP H9 HR9 BB9 SO9 SO/W 9 6 4.34 23 23 1 1 143.0 37 112 93 3.33 1.322 9.6 0.6 2.3 7.0 3.03 Wainwright will bring his brand of "play the game the right way" justice when he'll try and plunk one of our guys in retaliation for Matt Holliday, but his fastball is only .2 mph faster than Kyle Hendricks' so we're all good. The Cubs will be sending up the man, the myth, the sex machine: Jake Arrieta. http://i.imgur.com/7AxbQOE.jpg?1 Gaze upon the adonis of major league baseball and feel his fury! His numbers look like this: W L ERA G GS CG SHO IP BB SO ERA+ FIP WHIP H9 HR9 BB9 SO9 SO/W 13 5 2.59 22 22 1 1 142.1 50 143 152 2.98 1.033 6.1 0.5 3.2 9.0 2.86 The Cardinals won't know whether to try and defeat him or try and marry him. It will be very Looney Toons-ish. Like Bugs Bunny dressed as a woman Looney Toons-ish, because the Cardinals are horsefeathering stupid. Keep winning, Cubs.

Fuckin wood

That was some Jake Taylor horsefeathers.

Yesssssss

Way to redeem yourself coghlan

Or With the pitcher due up, and a notoriously bad hitting one at that, he coould've just stayed halfway and waited for the result instead of assuming a ball that was still being tracked at the warning track would be caught. I'd chance a 1-1 tie over 2 outs and a runner on 2nd with the pitcher up 11 times out of 10 Again, if you're tracking that fly ball, you're very certain it's caught or a HR, it was hit straight in the air and Piscotty was right under it. I don't want Coghlan gambling on the 1 in 20(1 in 50) chance that it happens to catch the basket AND bounds away from Piscotty so that Coghlan has the chance to get 3 bases if he doesn't tag. If that ball is fielded cleanly do you really think coghlan has the speed to tag from first to second and beat the throw in the first place? He was lucky to be called safe at third and was barely past second when the throw came in to the cut off man on a misplayed ball.

Seriously. That's some of the worst base running I've seen all year It took the ball hitting the underside of the basket to not be either a flyout or a HR. Tagging is the percentage play there, and makes a big difference considering the gap in man on 1st, 2 out, and man on 2nd, 2 out. Or With the pitcher due up, and a notoriously bad hitting one at that, he coould've just stayed halfway and waited for the result instead of assuming a ball that was still being tracked at the warning track would be caught. I'd chance a 1-1 tie over 2 outs and a runner on 2nd with the pitcher up 11 times out of 10

Seriously. That's some of the worst base running I've seen all year

At least that twitter lineup is better than the hack ass attempts they made to start the year.

Don't underestimate my silky smooth bass tones

I got drunk away from home last night and just woke up.

He Tom Wilhelmsen'd his way back to the Yankees.

Why'd we stop talking about hot ham and cheese, you guys? http://i.imgur.com/ahLWIpC.png

Another day, another win for the Cubs. They now go into one of the biggest matchups of the year against our rival, The Cardinals, at Wrigley. The Cubs will be going up against the Cardinals' best Bruno Mars impersonator, and best pitcher, Carlos Martinez: http://i.imgur.com/1iTr4uq.jpg Bruno's stats look like this: W L ERA G GS IP BB SO ERA+ FIP WHIP H9 HR9 BB9 SO9 SO/W 10 7 3.29 21 21 131.1 47 108 123 3.85 1.203 7.6 0.8 3.2 7.4 2.30 Not bad, Bruno. Not bad. But we have Jon Lester going... Jon's stats look like this: W L ERA G GS CG IP BB SO ERA+ FIP WHIP H9 HR9 BB9 SO9 SO/W 12 4 2.93 22 22 1 135.1 38 133 135 3.82 1.094 7.3 1.2 2.5 8.8 3.50 And he also hates Bruno Mars. He's coming for you. http://i.imgur.com/mIddsZm.jpg

I may not get a new game thread up til tomorrow around noon-ish. Nobody freak out. Or today around noon-ish. Whatever

FRED!

This is my fault. I should not have tempted fate with my cockiness.