he won't have the ghost of that first pitch home run to chris young swimming in his mind's eye anymore when he leaves then he will dominate this year and be the NL cy young...while our very own dick harden goes down after his first 3 innings, finally admitting that he should have had offseason surgery way back in october followed by ted lilly disclosing a ruptured tendon in his hand because he likes to throw his glove down forcefully upon the mound big z will come out and admit that he is overweight and the shame will not allow him to pitch effectively ryan dempster will let all of his homeland canadians slide an overwhelming feeling of guilt into his psyche because he opted not to pitch in the WBC, thus causing him to regress to a barely sub 6 era heilman will use the same quote after every horrendous start this year, "What did you expect? You have watched the Mets the past two seasons right? What? You thought I was going to be a [expletive] lucky rabbits foot?" however, after the cubs don't make any deadline deals because of the unfortunate decapitation of josh vitters while playing hacky sack, lou piniella becomes so obese that rothschild has to roll him out to the mound for his visits, at least giving the fans of this team of lovable losers something to giggle about during the torturous summer months.