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Sammy Sofa

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Everything posted by Sammy Sofa

  1. Sammy Sofa
    That's not a thing.
  2. Sammy Sofa
    David's the kind of robot that will happily tell you that if you bite into a gross bug in your delicious pizza (IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT PIZZA IN THE END) that you shouldn't be grossed out by it because the vast majority of the pizza was delicious and bug-free.
  3. Sammy Sofa
    That's why you need that sweet, sweet Almora bat in the lineup.
  4. Sammy Sofa
  5. Sammy Sofa
    This is all just Joe actually really resting the team, Spurs-style, but more sneaky-like.
  6. Sammy Sofa
    Has this been as big a problem the last few months? The only reason I ask is I don't seem to be as annoyed when the situation comes up and expecting them to horsefeathers it up. It's been a weird outlier the Cubs have sucked at for 3 out of the last 4 seasons, including this one. 2016 was the year they bucked the trend, firmly slotting themselves in the middle of the pick instead of near the bottom. It's one of those bizarre baseball things.
  7. Sammy Sofa
    I am genuinely baffled as to why they lose their minds and fall apart so easily if someone is on 2B or 2B with less than 2 outs SO OFTEN. They ARE a good offensive team, and you'd think those are the situations where they essentially go into cruise control, but I swear it's like everyone comes to the plate is convinced they have to annihilate the ball instead of just getting the horsefeathering run in.
  8. Sammy Sofa
    What the horsefeathers are these turnips swinging at.
  9. Sammy Sofa
    Royals bailing the Cubs out from pooping their pants.
  10. Sammy Sofa
    Oh, Baez.
  11. Sammy Sofa
    GO, OLD MAN, GO!
  12. Sammy Sofa
    53 game stretches mean nothing. NOTHING.
  13. Sammy Sofa
    Addison has been nursing a sub-.570 OPS for a good 5+ weeks now, yet already has a 2.3 bWAR and and a 2.0 fWAR. On the one hand, he's not actually this bad. On the hand...all glove/no hit middle infielders are the lamest horsefeathering thing in the world no matter how much value they bring. It's like rooting for a nerd. A NERD.
  14. Sammy Sofa
    The demand to not demand more dongs of a team that should be hitting so many dongs that they'd be hitting dongs with their dongs is terrible.
  15. Sammy Sofa
    Enough to still be the best offense in baseball when excluding pitchers? It's absurd how much you guys complain about the lack of home runs and try to diminish the quality ABs our batsmen bring to the field every day. This offense is awesome and you all should stfu about it. I'd rather have a worse offense and more dongs. My completely sound and 100% accurate approach is that small ball is complete sham garbage that gets annihilated in the playoffs nowadays. NOW NOBODY CHALLENGE THIS.
  16. Sammy Sofa
    "...and you're a Cubs starting pitcher, so go ahead and hit the showers."
  17. Sammy Sofa
    He's got a horsefeathering DH spot to play with, and Joe still manages to leave Bote out, while saddling Rizzo with the brutal 1-2 punch of August 2018 Russell and Almora. Against a RHP. It's Neifi-Macias-Lee all over again. He's almost impressively stubborn in his blind spots.
  18. Sammy Sofa
    After watching our starting pitching get beat up by the NL version of the Royals, I'm willing to go with it actually matters. [David]ACTUALLY, it's been scientifically proven that literally no 5 inning stretch of baseball matters, has mattered, or ever will matter.[/David]
  19. Sammy Sofa
    We’re just gonna have to take care of them ourselves in the 8 games left.
  20. Sammy Sofa
    So when the hell does the Brewers' "brutal" second half schedule start?
  21. Sammy Sofa
    Especially since they'd have to be begging for forgiveness from SO many dead ancestors.
  22. Sammy Sofa
  23. Sammy Sofa
    Unfortunately, that's the only time we'll ever see it happen.
  24. Sammy Sofa
    Not a bat flip, but a pretty great bat flop: https://deadspin.com/carloz-gomez-has-more-fun-than-anyone-1828116653
  25. Sammy Sofa
    Who the hell is the beefy dude in the white tanktop?
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